27. Radar's Report

September 29, 1973 (K-402)

Written by: Laurence Marks
Directed by: Jackie Cooper
Guest Stars: Joan Van Ark as Nurse Johnson.
Semi-regulars: William Christopher as Father Mulcahy. Jamie Farr as Corporal Klinger. Allan Arbus as Dr Milton (Sidney?) Freedman. Kellye Nakahara as Nurse Kellye. Tom Dever as some other guy, most likely an MP.

Plot: Radar writes a weekly activity report. He describes a POW stealing a knife to try to escape before being operated on and attacking Nurse Johnson with it. Burns decides he wants Klinger out and calls for a psychiatrist to evaluate him. Hawkeye takes care of the injured Nurse Johnson and discovers that he's in love with her and at the same time finds out she's married (then finds out she's not). Dr Freedman comes to evaluate Klinger, in his first appearance for the series. One of Trapper's patients dies due to complications from the POW's attack in surgery. Hawkeye decides that he wants to marry Nurse Johnson, who flat out tells him that she's not interested in long-term stuff. Trapper is tempted to do something bad to the POW who was responsible for the death of his patient, but decides not to. Klinger will only get his discharge if he signs a piece of paper admitting to being a homosexual and a transvestite, and refuses, claiming indignantly that he's just crazy.

Glitches: Hot Lips's hands jump onto her hips between shots when she's screaming at Klinger.
Radar writes that Major Freedman arrives tomorrow - that would make it the day after he was typing the report, and nothing about Freedman's visit would be in the report. (He probably meant something more like he arrived the next day.)
Dr Freedman, in this episode, bears the first name Milton. In all of his subsequent appearances, he's Sidney.
Klinger hotly denies that he's a transvestite or a homosexual (or having post-nasal drip), claiming he's 'just crazy'. Actually, by definition, he is a transvestite. He wears the opposite sex's clothes (it's what the word literally means).

Great Lines: Klinger: '"Pervert"? Who bit who, Major?'
Freedman: 'All the way from Seoul to ask me what? If he needs a girdle under that? If his seams are straight?'
Hawkeye: 'Well, if we can't have the marriage, how about a very short intense engagement?'
Johnson: 'Quite honestly, Hawkeye, I have certain very definite doubts about marriage.' Hawkeye: 'Now you tell me? After I shaved?'

Bad Lines: Hawkeye: 'I'm afraid I have bad news for you. You have only ten seconds to kiss me.' Honestly, we still haven't finished picking on that and we heard it years ago...

The Klinger Collection: A red patterned dress (now with one strap, thanks to the POW), which he claims cost $39, with a helmet and a white netting scarf. Later, in Hot Lips's tent, he has a white and pink checked dress, a hairnet and a red scarf. Then, we have a sleeveless apricot dress with frilly trim. Later, a floral top with a red beret and skirt.

Je ne parle Korean...do I? Mulcahy knows the Korean for 'peace and friendship', but apparently not a lot else.

Suction: 2 calls, including Hawkeye complimenting Johnson on her suction technique.

Notes: The events of this episode take place over October 17-22 1951. Or so Radar says - time flows strangely at the 4077th, as we'll see, especially with Colonel Potter supposedly arriving in September 1951.
Radar's final shots over the typewriter remind me of the Stephen J Cannell Productions banner, but that's probably just me.

Comments: The scene in Henry's office when Burns and Hot Lips complain about Klinger is downright hilarious, as hilarious as Trapper's scene with the POW is scary.
We start to move towards a more ensemble-natured show as Radar, rather than Hawkeye, handles the writing and voice-over duties in this pseudo-letter-home episode, but naturally a good deal of what he writes about is about Hawkeye.

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