37. Deal Me Out

December 8, 1973 (K-413)

Written by: Larry Gelbart and Laurence Marks
Directed by: Gene Reynolds
Guest Stars: John Ritter as Private Carter, Jarry Fujikawa as Whiplash Hwang, Tom Dever as Lt Rogers.
John Ritter, the late and sorely missed John Ritter, is another veteran of late twentieth-century US television, most prominently in Hooperman, which really doesn't sound that prominent at all. Nowadays he's mostly famous for being John Ritter or for his role in Eight Simple Rules for Dating My Teenage Daughter, which he was making when he passed away. He is one of my personal favourites for playing the eponymous Ted in an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and has a cocktail named after him invented by Ratbat. (Mostly creme de menthe and creme de cacao, in case you were wondering).
Semi-regulars: Allan Arbus as Dr Sidney Freedman, Pat Morita as Captain Sam Pak, Edward Winter as 'Captain Halloran', Jamie Farr as Corporal Klinger, Gwen Farrell as a nurse.
The late, great Noriyuki 'Pat' Morita found big-time fame in the 1980s when he played the famously obtuse trainer Mr Miyagi in the Karate Kid films. Wax on, wax off.

Plot: Dr Freedman the psychiatrist and Captain Pak arrive for a 'conference' that ends up meaning an ongoing game of poker in the Swamp. Meanwhile, Burns refuses to operate on a CID (military intelligence) man because the rules say he can't without another one present. Hawkeye and Trapper do anyway. They save the guy before Captain Halloran from CID even turns up, then he joins the poker game too. Meanwhile, Radar has hit Whiplash Hwang, a local who has made a career of being hit by vehicles and demanding compensation. Burns has been picking on a Private Carter who doesn't want to go back to the front, until Carter decides too much is too much and holds Burns hostage in the shower, shooting all round the place because he doesn't want to go back. They calm down Carter and Dr Freedman takes him away.

Glitches: It really sounds like Radar tells Henry that 'Catherine Pak' has arrived. I guess it could be the Captain's given name...
If Hwang is such a notorious faker and troublemaker, why does everyone pitch in to pay him off? Just tell him you're onto him and send him on his way? (Yeah, we know, sympathy from the big bad US War Machine. But if he's got such a reputation for it, then he must really be cleaning up.)
'Halloran' really isn't being fair about Burns. We'll later find out that this guy's actually Colonel Flagg, and that he's obsessive about the rules of Intelligence. Here he gets to camp to hear that his fellow was operated on without authorisation. What does he do? Snarks around about Burns dragging him in, then takes the word of two guys who were suspects in his original scenario!

AWOL: Whatever Hot Lips is doing, she isn't doing it anywhere we can see.

Great Lines: Radar offers Freedman his drink: 'Scotch, gin vodka. And for your convenience, all in the same bottle.'
Radar: 'The conference is set for 1800 hours.' Hawkeye: 'What's that in people time?'
Dr Freedman met another guy looking for a section eight: 'Claimed he was with Washington at Valley Forge, and therefore he'd already done his military service.'
Burns: 'You [Army Intelligence] people really know a lot of secrets, don't you?' 'Halloran': 'Yes, we do. But you didn't hear that from me.'
Will Dr Freedman attend to the wild soldier? 'I'm not going out there without a bulletproof couch.'

They All Look the Same to Me: We'll see Pat Morita again, and not always as Captain Pak. Jerry Fujikawa fans need not despair about missing him for a while, either.

Notes: He pretends it's not him, but 'Captain Halloran' is recurring military intelligence man Colonel Flagg, working under a different name. We'll later find out he really is the same guy, just undercover for some reason. And no, it's not just a coincidence - in a later episode Flagg refers to playing poker with Dr Freedman and that happens only in this episode.

Comments: The episode goes nowhere and does nothing, but it does it pretty well. After all, not only do we get the return of Dr Sidney Freeman, but Pat Morita's engagingly charming Captain Pak is here too. Though what with Hwang, the poker, the CID man and everything, it's another M*A*S*H that you come out of a bit surprised that it was less than half an hour in length. The series is quite good at doing that.

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