47. Mail Call

February 23, 1974 (K-423)

Written by: Larry Gelbart and Laurence Marks
Directed by: Alan Alda
Semi-regulars: Jamie Farr as Corporal Klinger, William Christopher as Father Mulcahy

Plot: Mail call! Henry gets his wife's cheque-stubs. Hawkeye gets a wonky cardigan from his sister. Burns has made $2000 from his stocks. Trapper gets a picture and cookies from his daughters. Klinger's post supposedly includes a missive from his mother saying his dad's dying, but it's a fake. Because Burns getting money annoys him so much, Hawkeye cooks up a scheme: He writes a fake Dear Dad about a stock tip for Pioneer Aviation, a made-up company. Burns sneaks a look at the letter and sends a cable telling his brokers to sell everything and buy into Pioneer. Radar has a pen-pal and he's been basically telling her he's Hawkeye! Said pen-pal has asked Radar his feelings on things and, worried, he decides to tell her his real everything. Trapper misses his kids so much (and he's drunk) so he tries to desert. But, distracted when the egg hits Burns's face over 'Pioneer', he stays.

Glitches: When Burns is boasting about his stock letter, Hawkeye's drink, olive and hand jump all over the place between shots.
Burns taking the half-hidden Dear Dad then bothering with two pages seems a bit more trouble than he usually goes to. More often than not he's just too self-involved to care.
Radar's letter: '...sex, if you'll excuse that four-letter word.' I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt here and assume that either he was spelling it wrong or was using 'four-letter word' to mean something slightly rude or racy.

Great Lines: Trapper: 'Quiet, will you? The man is trying to be dull.'
Trapper: 'I'm not Catholic, Father.' Mulcahy: 'All in good time.' You've gotta admire his optimism and persistance, don't you?

The Klinger Collection: A very nice short green dress. (Radar says it's new.) A brown hat, a fur stole, some big gold jewellery. Oh, and white gloves. (Love Klinger in white gloves.) Later, some red floral classics have returned.

Continuity is for Wimps: Radar normally sorts out all the mail himself, then takes it from recipient to recipient. We see him do some of this here. In 142, Potter's Retirement, we see that he's very insistent that mail is done by the book. None of this matches the beginning of this episode, where he gets chucked the bag, calls out 'Mail call!' and everyone mobs him.
Henry is surprised and has a big snark about his wife sending him her cheques to balance. Guess he forgot that only seven episodes ago (40. Henry in Love) he asked her to send them to him.
Burns and Hot Lips seem to have abandoned their secret knock.
I guess Hawkeye's sister's present was made before they decided he didn't have one...

Notes: Trapper's two daughters are called Kathy and Becky. They aren't very good at making cookies.
Burns's stockbrokers are Henderson, Landers & Flynn.
Hawkeye says that he's been in two wars. Let's just, for the sake of all sanity and continuity, assume he made that up to annoy Burns and just move along...

Comments: The cardigan Hawk's sister sent him doesn't seem that bad. Certainly looks like it'd be warm, if nothing else.
Bloody hell, those heels Hot Lips gets must be big - she's almost as tall as Burns with them on! And I know she's in the 1950s, but no way would you catch me trying to entice, or being enticed, with the idea of clear plastic sandals!
Hawkeye just comes across as mean this episode. OK, no-one likes Burns much. But setting him up to lose a whole bunch of money was a bit much. OK, so Burns shouldn't read Hawkeye's mail and brought it on himself anyway. That much is fine. But Hawkeye's motives make him seem like a petty little man who doesn't like it because Burns got richer and he didn't.
Radar explaining time differences to Burns is one of the funniest routines in the series so far.

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