65. The Consultant

January 21, 1975 (B-318)

Written by: Larry Gelbart and Robert Klane
Directed by: Gene Reynolds
Guest Stars: Joseph Maher, as Major Taylor. Tad Horino, as Bartender.
Joseph Maher seems to have a habit of playing British clergy in USA films, as he played similar roles in Sister Act and In and Out.
Semi-regulars: William Christopher, as Father Mulcahy. Robert Alda, as Dr Borelli.
Good old Robert Alda - despite being such an accomplished actor, he's probably going to be most remembered for his real-life role as Alan's father.

Plot: Hawkeye and Trapper go to Tokyo for a medical conference and there meet a surgeon called Dr Borelli. Somewhat unimpressed by Borelli's behind-the-lines status, they invite him back to the 4077th. Borelli declines the offer, saying he's had enough of war from WWI and WWII. However, once the boys are back at the 4077, a chopper turns up with Borelli on board. He says he's there to 'get into the game'. Artillery starts almost as soon as Borelli arrives - and he seems a little nervous about it, but wounded arrive before anything else can happen. In surgery, Borelli tells Burns that an arterial transplant can save the leg of one of his patients, and offers to demonstrate. Massively keen to prevent an amputation where it's not absolutely necessary, Henry sends Radar to the phones to work the nearby units to find a replacement artery. He tracks one down, using his superior wrangling skills, and Hawkeye and Trapper dive into action, travelling many miles through shelling and bombs and stuff to find an artery at a British unit. They return, but find Dr Borelli drunk - he couldn't cope with the shelling. Hawkeye does the transplant with Borelli's supervision (I guess he was too drunk to operate but not to teach) and saves the leg. Hawkeye is still furious with Borelli, however, for failing at the vital moment. Borelli confronts Hawkeye in the Swamp having a martini after surgery, and explains that he's only human and couldn't handle the war - even though he'd already been through more than his fair share of them. He points out Hawkeye's hypocrisy and lack of compassion. When Borelli leaves, Hawkeye finally unbends enough to wave goodbye.

Glitches: The screeching tyres sound effects in the opening sequence would be far more realistic if the tyres were actually screeching!
Radar's hands change position on the steering wheel at the chopper pad.
There seems to be some confusion about the drinks - particularly the vodka. It is put down in front of Borelli, but he doesn't drink it. It could be Hawkeye's - but he didn't drink it either, and if it's his then where did Borelli's go? Maybe the bartender got confused. Nobody seemed unhappy at least.
Major Taylor says that the shelling has stopped, but the pause has only been about two and a half seconds! Has he got super powers, or does he have a line directly to the enemy?

BIMOL: Not much for Burns to do this week except not know how to save the patient's leg and be jealous of Hot Lips having a thing for Dr Borelli.

Great Lines: Henry: 'Bring me back something.' Hawkeye: 'No chance, we're going to be careful.'
It's not a line, but it's great - Trapper pulls over and jumps out of the jeep to go take a whiz behind a tree, but dashes back out again even faster when a shell goes off! I guess damp pants are a small price to pay for staying alive!

Continuity is for Wimps: 'Maybe you'll come back some day' says Hot Lips. Can anybody spell 'foreshadowing'? (No, he doesn't come back as a cyborg with a time machine.)

They All Look the Same to Me: Tad Horino turns up.

Je ne parle Korean...do I? Hawkeye is pronouncing Geisha wrong again. It's really not 'gee-sha'. Burns, much as we love to bag him, gets it right.
Hawkeye can say thanks in Japanese.

Suction: One.

Notes: Some lovely shots of the Ginza. Probably good old-fashioned stock footage.
Trapper's drink of choice this week is a Zombie. I'd dearly love to know what's in it.
Dr Borelli is married, or at least wears a wedding ring.

Comments: Major Taylor is terribly 'British' in his manner - very amusing.
Borelli was quite right to point out Hawkeye's hypocrisy. As demonstrated in Episode 57. Alcoholics Unanimous, our boys really do drink to excess. Quite a good little episode, a bit lacking on pace but with a nice story.

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