70. Payday

March 4, 1975 (B-305)

Written by: John Regier and Gary Markowitz
Directed by: Hy Averback.
Guest Stars: Eldon Quick, as Captain Sloan. Jack Soo, as Mr Quoc. Pat Marshall, as Lt. Nelson. Somebody uncredited as Private Daley from the pay queue.
Semi-regulars: William Christopher, as Father Mulcahy. Jamie Farr, as Corporal Klinger. Bobbie Mitchell, as Nurse Baker. Jeff Maxwell, as Igor. Johnny Haymer, as Sergeant Zale.

Plot: It's payday at the 4077th, and Hawkeye is in charge. After dishing out cash all day, he comes up ten dollars over. As Radar digs into the paperwork to fix everything, Hawkeye asks him (sarcastically) to request compensation for the money lost from not being in his civilian practice. Trapper is playing poker very badly and getting through his pay very quickly. A travelling peddlar turns up and Burns buys two sets of pearls - real ones for his wife, and fakes for Hot Lips. The peddlar tells her that Burns bought the real thing for his wife, so when he presents her with the fakes she manages to trick him into giving her the real ones, but he doesn't really know which is which. Hawkeye's compensation ($3000) arrives. Klinger tries to bribe Henry to let him out, but he doesn't accept it. An investigator arrives trying to retrieving the money but turns out to be too late, as Hawkeye already donated it to Sister Theresa's orphanage. Trapper has lost all his money, but decides to steal Hawkeye's watch to use as a stake when he gets an inside straight. The investigator tries to arrest Hawkeye. Fortunately, Trapper has won $3000 with Hawkeye's watch, and Hawkeye gives it to the investigator to keep himself out of the stockade.

Glitches: The people standing behind Hawkeye in the pay queue change position between short and long shots.
Does the US Army really have notes for cents?
Hot Lips fondles the pearls differently in two different shots.
In the O-Club the jukebox seems to stop briefly for no apparent reason when Radar is talking to Hawkeye and then is going again a couple of shots later.
AARGHHH! It makes my teeth itch to see Hot Lips wearing the pearls with her dog-tags! Pearls are very soft and very brittle, so wearing them next to metal is a guaranteed way to ruin them!
This isn't exactly a glitch or anything, but Captain Sloan has a pair of binoculars in his briefcase. Important equipment for an accountant...?

Great Lines: Burns, holding out his wedding ring: 'You know what this is?' Mr Quoc: 'Fourteen carat cheap.'
Mr Quoc: 'The major's happily married. He must have something on the side or he wouldn't be so happy.'
When the rather masculine (female) Lt Nelson offers to lend him $100, Trapper says: 'Give it to me free and I'll marry you.' Nelson, giving Trap a long look: 'Not if either one of us was the last man on earth.'
Mulcahy: 'There may be a sainthood in this, Hawkeye.' Hawkeye: 'Yes, I can see myself on dashboards all over America.'
Trapper threatens to grass up Burns peeking in the shower, but Burns fobs him off. 'You're bluffing!' Trapper, disappointed: 'How could you tell?'
Mulcahy, trying to weasel out of the situation: 'Did you know that contributions to the church can be written off on your income tax...?'
Hawkeye: 'You stole my watch!' Sloan: 'You want me to arrest him? No extra trouble, as long as I'm here.'

The Klinger Collection: A brown tweed suit with stole and veilled hat (which really doesn't work too well since he needs a shave). And then a gorgeous Salvation Army uniform - possibly the best outfit of the season. Then his lovely green dress with the big white spots, which has a fur coat over the top of it.

Continuity is for Wimps: Hawkeye makes another height joke about Radar, even after he apologised for that kind of thing in Episode 66. House Arrest.
The timeline of this episode is rather strange. It all seems to happen on the same day but how did the forms get from Radar to HQ then back again with $3000 all in that time?
Radar implies that he doesn't play poker, but surely nobody believes that?

They All Look the Same to Me: Here we go with Jack Soo. And Eldon Quick turns up again later, as Captain Pratt in 76. The Late Captain Pierce.

Suction: One.

Notes: What the hell is in that bottle Mulcahy is polishing? It looks like olive oil. Or maybe yellow cordial.
Klinger claims that his serial number is 36-24-36 - very cute.
Hawkeye claims to be from Krypton - just like Superman. (Hm. Alda could possibly have played an aging alcoholic Superman...)

Comments: Really very silly, I don't think anybody believed that the army would really give out $3000 just because somebody asked for it. Made up for by the pearl debacle - nice to see that Hot Lips isn't totally blinded by Burns's charm. (Good thing, too, 'cos it's practically non-existant).

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