77. Hey, Doc

October 10, 1975 (G-510)

Written by: Rich Mittleman
Directed by: William Jurgensen
Guest Stars: Frank Marth, as Colonel Kriswald. Bruce Kirby, as Sergeant Kimble. Ted Hamilton, as Lieutenant Chivers.
Semi-regulars: William Christopher, as Father Mulcahy.

Plot: A sergeant, Kimble, wants to go home in a ship to have enough room to take enough stuff for opening a café. The boys can fake his medical record so he can't fly, but don't want to as it's illegal. Snipers are bothering the camp constantly. An artillery commander turns up to the camp and asks the boys for some help - to (sans records) cure his VD. In return, he agrees to lend the camp a tank to scare off the snipers. While that's all going on, a British Lieutenant offers them two bottles of Scotch to fix his ingrown toenail. While fixing his foot, they discover that the camp's microscope has been stolen. The scotch is delivered but ends up getting shot by the sniper. The boys tell Kimble that they'll fake his medical record if he gets them a microscope to replace the camp's microscope which was stolen - but they need help from Burns who doesn't take kindly to faking records, even for the best results. The tank arrives, and Hot Lips is extremely taken with it - to impress her, Burns steals it to take for a ride. He runs rampage in the camp (being unable to properly control the thing), including running over Colonel Potter's jeep! Once they manage to get him out the boys tell the Colonel that it was an accident, blackmailing Burns into co-signing Sergeant Kimble's form and thus getting them the microscope.

Great Lines: Radar, to Father Mulcahy who is hiding behind him in the shower: 'I'll be out in a minute, Father!'
Lt. Chivers: 'It's getting quite out of hand. Last week I lost two machine guns and a tea cosy.' (Klinger pinched it to wear on his head.)

The Klinger Collection: His pink housecoat and a shower cap. Then a blue spotted skirt with red sweater and tea-cosy hat. (There's your culprit, Lieutenant!)

Continuity is for Wimps: Hawkeye calls Lt. Chivers 'lefftenant'. A little odd. But kind of nice that he was courteous enough to use the correct pronunciation once.

Comments: One of the greatest moments of the series - Colonel Potter's jeep is run over by the tank, so he takes out his sidearm and shoots the remains. This is an interesting version of the 'tit for tat' genre - three separate chains of events are running simultaneously. A nice script.

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