102. The Abduction of Margaret Houlihan

October 26, 1976 (U-808)

Written by: Allan Katz and Don Reo; story by Gene Reynolds.
Directed by: Gene Reynolds
Guest Stars: June Kim, as the Korean Woman. Le Quynh as the Korean Husband. Jay Fenichel as patient.
Semi-regulars: Edward Winter, as Colonel Flagg. Lynne Marie Stewart, as Nurse Baker. Susan Bredhoff as Nurse Able. Susan Sakimoto, as the Korean Girl. Jon Yune, as the Korean translator.

Plot: Coming off duty, Hot Lips is called out to deliver a local baby. Klinger is the only one who sees her leave, and heads off to bed himself. When nobody can find Hot Lips, Klinger is still asleep and doesn't tell them. People fear the worst - there are Chinese guerillas in the area. Burns goes to try to find her, and his gun accidentally goes off, shooting BJ in the leg. Colonel Flagg gets called in to try to find her. He makes his usual dog's breakfast of things, and is on the verge of sending platoons into enemy territory and killing everything that moves, when Hot Lips shows up with the baby and its mother. Flagg tries to leave in his usual spy-worthy fashion and breaks his leg falling out of the window.

AWOL: Father Mulcahy was probably in his tent praying for Hot Lips's safe return, cos he wasn't anywhere else.

Great Lines: Solider: 'Klinger, I'm here to relieve you.' Klinger: 'Good. Undo my bra.'
Burns: 'You're using my shirt as a basketball?' Hawkeye: 'I had to, your underwear wouldn't bounce.'
Burns, to Potter: 'Sir, I think the Chinese have captured Major Houlihan!' Potter: 'So naturally, you shot Captain Hunnicutt.'
Burns: 'I just don't feel like I'm doing enough.' Hawkeye: 'You're doing fine! It's only ten o'clock and you've already shot a doctor.'
Flagg: 'You were capable of murder!' Hawkeye: 'That's right! So you hit her over the head with a blunt instrument!' BJ: 'A saxohpone!'
Flagg: 'I only sit two minutes a day.' Hawkeye: 'It's bad to put pressure on your brains.'
Flagg: 'What's war without casualties?' BJ: 'Peace?'*

* It is worth noting that BJ isn't quite correct on this one. The Korean War, which ceased fire at the end of the series, has not actually formally concluded as yet to the best of my knowledge. Fortunatley for the continued stability of south-east Asia, the North Koreans, South Koreans, Americans and associated hangers-on decided that it would be more productive to conduct their battles over the cease-fire negotiating table.

The Klinger Collection: A blue shimmy dress with a scarf and helmet for sentry duty. Then a yellow towelling dress with matching hat - I think for the shower. And finallly, a red checkered frock with lace trim and straw hat.
Colonel Flagg's outfit deserves an honourable mention. I like Potter's description - an Italian usher.

Continuity is for Wimps: Radar says he couldn't look in the nurses' shower tent, but he used to do it all the time.

They All Look the Same to Me: Susan Sakimoto again. Jon Yune for the first time that I've noticed, but not the last. Le Quynh and June Kim's only appearences for the series.

Je ne parle Korean...do I? Hot Lips knows enough Korean to know that the little girl's mother is about to have a baby, and enough to communicate with the parents while doing the delivery.

Comments: To be honest, this one was a bit too silly for my taste - more suited to season 1 or 2 than all the way over here in season 5. Colonel Flagg is usually a recipe for instant ludicrosity and does significantly lower the degree of believability of the episode. I did like Klinger's impromptu dance number, though, and the Radar-Potter birthing lesson was very funny.

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