41. For Want of a Boot

January 12, 1974 (K-417)

Written by: Sheldon Keller
Directed by: Don Weis
Guest Stars: Suzanne Nemor as Nurse Murphy, Michael Lerner as Dr Bernie Futterman.
Semi-regulars: Johnny Haymer as Sgt Zale, Jamie Farr as Corporal Klinger, Patricia Stevens as Nurse Mitchell, Sheila Lauritsen as Nurse Sheila Watson.

Plot: It's very cold and Hawkeye needs new boots. Sgt Zale will give him a boot if they can get his cavity (in his tooth) filled. The dentist, Dr Futterman, has a love affair with Japan and wants a pass to Tokyo. If he gets it, he'll do Zale's tooth. Hot Lips has riled up the nurses (mostly by being herself), and part of the sweep is to write a nasty report to General Mitchell. Hot Lips tells the boys she'll stop the report if they throw a surprise birthday party for Burns. They go to Radar to get a birthday cake. Radar will do that if they can fix him up with Nurse Murphy. Murphy will go along with that if she gets a hair-dryer. The only dryer they can find is Klinger's. They get it if he gets four officers' signatures on papers to declare him crazy and get him out. They throw the party. But even under the influence of booze and good feelings, Burns won't sign Klinger's papers. The whole chain reaction comes undone, and everyone takes back their possessions and promises. Hawkeye is forced to use a golf bag as a boot!

Glitches: The joys of international travel. Dr Futterman seems to know Japan inside-out, even if he's never been there. Whatever the source of his knowledge, though, he should know what to call Mt Fuji. While it can be called Fujiyama ('yama' means 'mountain'), people in Japan usually call it 'Fuji-san'.

Great Lines: Trapper: 'Frank's birthday.' Hawkeye: 'I wonder how old he is. Why don't we saw him in half tonight and count his rings?'
Trapper: 'Better do what he says. He can revoke your feet.'
Trapper: 'How can you wear just a skirt on a cold day like this?' Klinger: 'You think it's easy being a nut?'
Henry: 'Tell me the truth, Radar: Do you understand any of this?' Radar: 'I try not to, sir; it holds up the war.'
Trapper: 'Murphy? The Wonder Nurse?' Hawkeye: 'She's two people taller than you!'
Trapper (to Klinger): 'Now, you get ready for the party. And tell me what you're wearing so we don't clash.'
Hawkeye: 'Murphy, we just need a little favor.' Murphy: 'Why didn't you say so? The answer's no.'
Nurse Watson, being chatted up by Henry: 'You're married, aren't you?' Henry: 'That's OK. So's my wife.'
Hot Lips: 'They like you, Frank.' Burns: 'It was their hatred that fooled me.'
Trapper: 'Klinger's not a pervert! ...I'm one, and he's never at the meetings!' Pure gold.

The Klinger Collection: While he's at the dentist, a white top that we've seen before with a black skirt. Oh, and his hair is in curlers because he's on guard duty tonight. Later on, still the curlers, the lower stuff replaced by a pink gown and light green scarf. Finally, at the party, something fur-lined.

Continuity is for Wimps: Klinger says he needs four officers' signatures to get him out of the Army. Hawkeye and Trapper don't have a problem with that, but the obstacles here seem to be Burns and Hot Lips. Why them? Klinger gets on with many of the nurses. Most of the nurses are at least lieutenants, so they're certainly officers. Why not ask them to sign? And how about Father Mulcahy? (He definitely says 'officers', not 'doctors', and Hot Lips wouldn't count on that front anyway.)
So why do Burns and Hot Lips tear up the papers and keep Klinger in the Army? Earlier this season (27. Radar's Report), they were so eager to get him kicked out!
Speaking of whom (isn't Klinger just a major culprit this week? Or should that be a corporal culprit?), Futterman says that Klinger's been wearing dresses to get out of the Army for six months now. Which no doubt means time's snapped back again to early 1951. It was supposedly 1952 only five episodes ago.

Notes: Hawkeye takes a size 10½C boot.
Captain Mulligan was shipped home some time ago. He never got the truss that Zale ordered for him.
Dr Futterman's father was a dentist, and he's from East Orange.
Hot Lips gives Burns a riding crop that her mother gave her father on their wedding night. It's a little scary that it's been handed down to her (and now handed sideways to Burns). We'll later see that Col Houlihan was a very generous man to his wife on their wedding night - later on a pistol and a hip flask from that evening will also turn up!

Comments: Another in the 'tit for tat' genre, worth it to wait for that whole chain to come apart at the end of the episode. Come apart in classic fashion, and not be saved by a last-minute finger-snap. Hawkeye trying to follow his own logic at the end and losing it completely was a nice piece of icing on it. Dr Futterman-san (heh) was an amusing character, but I think he might have worn out his welcome if he'd become an ongoing feature. Mind you, they really do go through dentists at the 4077th, don't they?
An OK episode on its own, brought up by some cute bits of dialogue.

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