Fuzzy Bunny and Friends in MACBETH
An introduction to Season Three of the Fuzzy Bunny Show

By Tim Hodge

(A blasted heath. Thunder and lightning. Enter three witches (Bunniquette, Hoppy, Abbie. None of them look too impressed about having to do Shakespeare).)
HOPPY:When shall we three meet again? In thunder, lightning, or in rain?
ABBIE:When the hurly-burl’s done, when the battle’s lost and won.
BUNNIQUETTE:That will be ere the set of sun.
HOPPY:Where the place?
ABBIE:Upon the heath.
BUNNIQUETTE:There to meet with -- oh, bugger this. Shakespeare bites. I’m leaving.
ABBIE:Oh, ‘Quette, come on. Just this once.
BUNNIQUETTE:No. Stiff this crap. I’m going to the Malt Shoppe for a carrot shake. Coming, Hopper?
HOPPY:Uh ... yeah. Sorry, Ab. Not fond of Shakespeare. Don’t know why I let Fuzzy talk me into this in the first place.
ABBIE:Fuzzy? Fuzzy hates Shakespeare. We were doing this for Doctor Gumman.
HOPPY:Are you telling me that Gumman wanted us to do Shakespeare?
(Gumman enters.)
GUMMAN:It’s not that I like Shakespeare. I just wanted you all to look stupid.
BUNNIQUETTE:Abbie, can I kill him? Please let me kill him. I promise I won’t make a mess.
GUMMAN:Keep that little psycho on a leash, Abbigail. I don’t like the look in her eyes.
BUNNIQUETTE:Grr! I’ll rip his throat out!
HOPPY:Calm down, ‘Quette. It’s not a good idea to kill doctors. Some of us are sick, you know.
BUNNIQUETTE:Yeah, but you’ve got that medicine now. And if you ever ruin out -- oh. I forgot. Mal and the others on Tooty-Mondongo destroyed the Nunklon homeworld.
ABBIE & HOPPY:The idiots.
(Cut to a very large room - the docking bay. The ceiling is almost impossibly high. At one end of the room we can see the opening of an enormous passage that leads to the bay doors. At the other end of the room is a door leading to the rest of the Sea Kidney. In the centre of the docking bay sits the Insectblanket, as good as new (well, better, actually). Through the smaller door, Fuzzy, Sasha, Pirica and Rabbo enter. Sasha has got a good grip on Fuzzy’s arm and occasionally glares at Ric.)
FUZZY:You did a great job, Ric. I can’t thank you enough.
PIRICA:You don’t have to. I’d hate to see one of my creations rot on that planet with no one to care for her.
RABBO:Weenby and Fred are tenors.
FUZZY:Chris, if you can’t talk sense, don’t talk at all.
(Chris falls silent.)
PIRICA:So, Fuzzy, what do you plan to do now that you have the ‘Blanket back?
FUZZY:Resume filming Star Bunnies, of course!
PIRICA:Ah. Yes. Your serious space opera. Hoppy told me all about it. I hope you have better lick this time than you did last time you tried to film it.
FUZZY:Well, Westminster and Mal are gone. That makes things easier. What with Westminster’s constant jabbering about third-rate comedy, and Mal’s inept props management, it was difficult enough - never mind about old fools like Earless and Gumman who barely understood what was happening.
SASHA:But you’ve also lost Howie. He was muchly helpful when we were filming Star Bunnies.
FUZZY:Yes. And it’s a terrible shame that Laff is no longer with us.
PIRICA:Laff ... he’s the Dropoff, right? Had a thing with Hoppy, and it was his sister who helped us escape from the Nunklons on Tooty-Mondongo?
FUZZY:Yes. If only we’d found you sooner, Ric, you might have been able to save him, like you’ve saved Hoppy.
PIRICA:Don’t count your bunnies before they’re safe, Fuzzikins. As soon as Hoppy runs out of her Gooey Pink Wonder-Drug, she’s as good as dead. I’ve given her a little more time, is all.
FUZZY:We’ll find a way to save her. We have to, or the universe will be destroyed.
RIC & SASH & CHRIS:Yeah, yeah, we know.
(Cut to Anastasia’s room. Anastasia and the Easter Bunny are there.)
ANASTASIA:There’s been a change of plans, Roberto.
EASTER BUNNY:Oh, yes? Do tell.
ANASTASIA:It would be best if O’Bunbun and Rabbo were not around to endanger my carefully orchestrated plot. Now that they’re married, we can kill them without disrupting the Bunny Fun Legacy.
EASTER BUNNY:How would you like me to do it? Poison? Bullet through the head? Strangulation? The old ‘Goldfish in a Sock’ routine?
ANASTASIA:No, no. We need something more subtle than that. I want you to get me the Stab-Stab Brothers, Pummel and Pommel.
EASTER BUNNY:What those wimpy Ninja Bunnies?
ANASTASIA:I assure you, they are not ‘wimpy’. They know four-thousand and six ways to kill a bunny using nothing but two ostrich feather and a piece of chewing gum. And, most importantly, they can make it look like an accident. If Pirica DeBunny were to suspect that I had arranged to have them killed, she’d cause me more trouble than I’m prepared to deal with at this early stage. And as for Teddy Uulamets, well, I’m afraid he’s on to me as well. I didn’t think he’d recognise me. But if he thinks he knows what’s going on, he’s in for quite a shock...
EASTER BUNNY:Sigh. Are you sure I have to call those stuck-up little jerks?
ANASTASIA:You will get me the Stab-Stab Brother, and you will stop complaining, or I will rip your throat out with my teeth. Now, do you understand me, Roberto Jerusalem Easter Bunny-Jones?
EASTER BUNNY:...Yes, Duchess.
(Cut to the Malt Shoppe. Abbie, Bunniquette, Hoppy, Fuzzy, Sasha, Earless, Tessa.)
BUNNIQUETTE:... yeah, well, I’m still a bit worried about that Anastasia chick, Fuzzy. She seems nasty.
FUZZY:Don’t be so paranoid. What can she do? I made her leave all her servants and soldiers behind on the Easter Bunny’s planet. She’s alone and unarmed and there’s heaps of us. She can’t hurt us, and besides, all she wants is to ... ahem ... mingle with some commoners for a while.
BUNNIQUETTE:I guess so. But you better hope Pirica’s not right about her.
(Cut to Uulamets’ room. He is in there alone, gazing into his crystal ball grimly. It’s dark and scary.)
UULAMETS:I don’t know what you’re up to, Anastasia, but I’ll figure you out, and I won’t let you hurt our daughter.
(A distant crash of thunder can be heard.)
UULAMETS:Even if it means I have to kill you.
(The end. See you in Season Three.)
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