| KING FUZZY TRILOGY PART ONE: | |
| THE HARE TO THE THRONE | |
| (We see a long shot of Palace Uulamets on Nerpalon 12. As we zoom in towards it we hear an excerpt from Bunniquette's diary.) | |
| BUNNIQUETTE (VO): | It's been more than a month since Fuzzy married Sasha and became King of Nerpalon, the largest star system in the universe. Their subjects love them, but deeply mourn the loss of their previous king, Teddy Uulamets. The chainsaw, Tessa, once apprentice to Uulamets, has mastered the Black Arts and now endeavours to train Queen Sasha in the ways of sorcery. Myself, Pirica and Gumman have rebuilt Nerpalon 12's UBF base and are running quite successfully with the help of two Special Agents recommended to us by Sasha's regent, Doberman Rabbitskovic. These two agents, Muncher and Skunky, have proved to be invaluable as members of the UBF. And most importantly, they get on well with Fuzzboy and the Queen. No time to write more; I have to leave for the Palace. Queen Sasha is hosting some sort of party to celebrate the revival of Nerpalon's UBF. |
| (Cut to the Palace Ballroom. There are dozens of bunnies there, all looking resplendent in wonderful clothes. At one end of the ballroom, standing together, are Sasha, Fuzzy, Rabbitskovic, Muncher, Skunky, Bunniquette, Gumman, Pirica, Lennie and Tessa.) | |
| SASHA: | |
| PIRICA: | Why thank you, Your Highness. I couldn't have done it without Bunniquette and Willits. |
| SASHA: | Enough "Your Highness". I am still the same bunny that I was before I became Queen. "Sasha" will suffice. |
| PIRICA: | As you wish, Sasha. |
| FUZZY: | Isn't this a great party, Muncher? |
| MUNCHER: | Yes,it is, King Fuzzy. |
| FUZZY: | It's so encouraging to see that-- |
| (The huge doors at the endof the hall burst open and Chris Rabbo falls in.) | |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | Holy--! It's Chris! |
| FUZZY: | Chris! Chris, what are you doing here? You're supposed to be back on Earth! |
| RABBO: | I was, until I discovered that part of the Nunklon HQ had not been destroyed in the explosion. I stumbled across a teleporter station that activated of its own accord and sent me to the Filth-Cells of Grondoglicon, the Fearsome Prison Planet. Warden Ichorpuss wasn't expecting me and in the confusion, I'm afraid something awful happened. |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | You idiot! You're not saying that-- |
| RABBO: | Yes -- Anastasia and her minions have escaped! |
| SASHA: | |
| RABBO: | Well, whatever her Nunklon name is, she's on the loose. She, the Easter Bunny,and the Stab-Stabs all got away in a small scout ship that belonged to Ichorpuss. And the Anastasians now have a new member - a notorious criminal named Smoky, the toughest bunny this side of Loodletoss Major. |
| MUNCHER: | This is terrible! Skunky and I have read Anastasia's file. She's a nasty piece of work. |
| SKUNKY: | I must admit that I find it difficult to credit the theory that she is a body-snatching alien slut. |
| FUZZY, SASHA, RIC: | Trust me. It's true. |
| SKUNKY: | But really! All this talk of mysterious visitors from other planets-- |
| MUNCHER: | You'll have to excuse Skunky. She's a doctor, and has trouble believing anything that she hasn't read about in Crombunkle's Medical Journal. |
| RABBO: | Who cares? This is serious. The most dangerous criminals in the universe have escaped and they'll be gunning for Fuzzy and Sash! |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | Fuzzy and Sash? Anastasia's gonna be after all of us! Abbie, Hoppy, everyone! We have to warn the others! |
| RABBO: | Yeah. Do you guys have Ghuzzy's phone number? |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | Pirica's got a direct communications link to the Tooty-Mondongo base. |
| FUZZY: | |
| PIRICA: | Yes, your highness. Come on, Commander O'Bunbun. We've no time to lose. |
| (Pirica and Bunniquette rush out, followed by Fuzzy.) | |
| RABBO: | Okay. Let's cut to a nice little musical number. |
| SKUNKY: | A song? Now? At a time like this? |
| (Rabbo leans over until his face is very close to Skunky's, and he says, in a very loud voice:) | |
| RABBO: | YES!!!! |
| (Cut to the outside of the palace. Riding on an elephant is Fuzzy. Behind him march Rabbitskovic, Muncher, Skunky, Pirica, Bunniquette, Gumman and Lennie. In front of Fuzzy, leading the elephant, is Rabbo. They sing "Prince Ali" from Walt Disney'sAladdin.) | |
| MUNCHER, GUMMAN: | "Make way For Prince Fuzzy |
| RABBITSKOVIC, LENNIE: | Say hey, it's Prince Fuzzy. |
| RABBO: | Hey you! Let us through! It's a bright new star Oh, come, be the first one on your block to meet his eye! Make way! Here he comes! Ring bells! Bang the drums! Are you gonna love this guy! Prince Fuzzy! Fabulous he! Fuzzy the Bunny Genuflect, show some respect, Down on one knee! Now try your best to stay calm Brush up your Sunday Salaam Then come and meet his spectacular coterie! Prince Fuzzy! Mighty is he! Fuzzy the Bunny Strong as ten regular men, definitely! He faced the galloping hordes A hundred bad guys with swords Who sent those loons to their lords? Why, Prince Fuzzy! |
| LENNIE, MUNCHER: | He's got seventy-five golden camels Purple peacocks he's got fifty-three. |
| RABBO: | When it comes to exotic-type mammals Has he got a zoo? I'm telling you It's a world-class menagerie! |
| RABBO: | Prince Fuzzy! Handsome is he, Fuzzy the Bunny That physique, How can I speak? Weak at the knee. Well get on out in that Square, adjust your veil And prepare To gawk and grovel and stare At Prince Fuzzy! |
PIRICA, 'QUETTE: | It's no wonder this Fuzzy's alluring, never ordinary, never boring, Everything about the man just plain impresses. He's a winner, he's a whiz, a wonder, he's about to pull my heart asunder! And I absolutely love the way he dresses! |
| GUMMAN, MUNCHER: | He's got ninety-five white Persian monkeys |
| LENNIE, 'QUETTE: | He's got the monkeys, let's see the monkeys |
| GUMMAN, MUNCHER: | And to view them he charges no fee! |
| LENNIE & QUETTE: | He's generous, so generous. |
| GUMMAN, MUNCHER: | He's got slaves, he's got servants, and flunkies. |
| LENNIE & QUETTE: | Proud to work for him! |
| GUMMAN, MUNCHER: | They bow to his whim, love serving him, they're just lousy with loyalty |
| ALL BUT FUZZ AND CHRIS: | To Fuzzy Prince Fuzzy. |
| RABBO: | Prince Fuzzy, amorous he! Fuzzy the Bunny! Heard your princess was a sight lovely to see. And that, good bunnies, is why He got dolled up and dropped by |
| ALL BUT FUZZY: | With sixty elephants, llamas galore, With his bears and lions, a brass band and more With his forty fakirs, his cooks, his bakers, His birds that warble on key Make way for Prince Fuzzy!" |
| (Cut back to Rabbo and co. in the ballroom.) | |
| SKUNKY: | Feel better now? |
| RABBO: | Much. |
| (Cut to the bridge of the Insectblanket. Fuzzy is there, talking to Abbie, who can be seen on a large monitor.) | |
| FUZZY: | ...So you'll have to watch out! They got free, and it's a safe bet that they'll be out for revenge - you know what Anna's like. |
| ABBIE: | Thanks for the warning. |
| FUZZY: | We figure it's best if everyone comes back here. Sasha's palace is the safest place for you guys to be, and we'd all be better off if we stuck together. |
| ABBIE: | Yes. I'll tell Ralph to set a course for Nerpalon 12 immediately. |
| (Cut to the communications room of Pirica's Nerpalon 12 UBF base. Pirica, Bunniquette. Ghuzzy and Bullocksnap can be seen on a monitor before them.) | |
| GHUZZY: | Good heavens! Are you sure they've escaped? |
| BULLOCKSNAP: | This could mean serious trouble. What do you plan to do about this? |
| PIRICA: | Tell Hoppy and Laff to come to Nerpalon 12 as soon as possible. As long as they stay with you, your planet is at risk. Anastasia is unlikely to target Tooty-Mondongo unless Hoppy and Laff are there; she has no quarrel with you two and Mal. |
| BULLOCKSNAP: | And Howie. |
| PIRICA: | And Howie. Anyway, pass on my message to Hoppy. We'll be waiting for her and Laff here at the Palace. |
| (Cut to the palace gardens.Fuzzy is returning from the Insectblanket. He hears a noise behind him and turns tosee Anastasia, the Easter Bunny, the Stab-Stabs, and Smoky, a really huge bunny who looks as though he could beat up Godzilla with little difficulty. The escaped criminals are all wearing the shapeless grey prison uniform of Grondoglicon.) | |
| FUZZY: | Oh, no! How did you get here? The planet's defences-- |
| ANASTASIA: | Are useless against one as brilliant as myself. Smoky, you know what to do. |
| (Smoky picks up Fuzzy in one enormous hand. Fuzzy struggles, but has no hope of freeing himself.) | |
| ANASTASIA: | Good. Now let's get got our hide-out before someone sees us. |
| (They are just about toleave when a bunny pushing a pram arrives. There is a baby bunny in the pram.The pram-pusher is Voddle, the Palace Gardener. He is taking his young niece, Disembowelled Goat, for a walk.) | |
| VODDLE: | Oi! You! That's the King! Unhand him immediately! |
| FUZZY: | Voddle! Run! Get help! |
| (The Easter Bunny shoots Voddle, who collapses, unconscious.) | |
| EASTER BUNNY: | I think not, your highness. |
| ANASTASIA: | Well done, Roberto. Now let's get out of here. |
| (Cut to the throne-room. Sasha, Lennie, Tessa, Rabbitskovic, Pirica, Gumman, Bunniquette, Rabbo, Muncher, Skunky.) | |
| PIRICA: | As soon as Fuzzy gets back, we'll-- |
| SKUNKY: | Hey... do you guys hear that? |
| (A baby can be heard crying somewhere nearby.) | |
| MUNCHER: | A baby. |
| GUMMAN: | It sounds as though it's coming from the garden. |
| RABBITSKOVIC: | It's probably the gardener's niece, Disembowelled Goat. |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | That's an odd name. |
| SASHA: | It's a very popular name among Nerpalonians, thank you. |
| SKUNKY: | Let's check it out, Muncher. |
| (Cut to the Gardens. Voddle is still lying next to the pram. Goat is crying.) | |
| MUNCHER: | Goatee! What happened? |
| GOATEE: | Bad bunny shoot Uncle Voddle! Steal Mister King! |
| SKUNKY: | What? Fuzzy was kidnapped? Who did this, Goatee? |
| GOATEE: | Bad bunny, and funny black bunnies, and big bunny, and bunny lady with purple hair! |
| MUNCHER: | Oh, no! The Anastasians have got the King! Skunky, examine Voddle. Make sure he's not hurt. I'll get Goatee back to the palace. |
| (Cut back to Sasha, Rabbitskovic, Lennie, Tessa, Pirica, Gumman, Bunniquette and Rabbo in the throne-room. Muncher enters, carrying Goatee.) | |
| RABBITSKOVIC: | It's Goat! What's going on? Where's Voddle? |
| (Skunky enters, supporting a barely-conscious Voddle.) | |
| SKUNKY: | Here. |
| MUNCHER: | How is he? |
| SKUNKY: | He'll be fine. |
| SASHA: | Who did this to Voddle? |
| MUNCHER: | Your Majesty... we have bad news. Anastasia and her gang have captured the King. |
| MOST OF THE OTHERS: | What? Oh no! |
| RABBO: | I never imagined they would make their move so soon! |
| SASHA: | We have to save Fuzzy! Anastasia will kill him! |
| RABBO: | I...don't think so. |
| (Cut to a huge, dark room.There is no furniture. In the room are Anastasia, Pommel, Pummel, the EasterBunny, Smoky and Fuzzy, who is tied up.) | |
| ANASTASIA: | Prepare to suffer, Fuzzy. |
| FUZZY: | Do your worst! The UBF will get you! |
| ANASTASIA: | I think not. After all, not even the UBF would dare to arrest me... when I become the king of the Nerpalon System! |
| FUZZY: | What?You're mad! I'm the king! I don't mean to sound sexist, but you're--you're a woman, for a start! Out of the running already! How could you possibly convince the UBF that you're the king? |
| ANASTASIA: | How quickly you forget my true nature. I am a Daughter of Nunklon! The last of the red hot bodysnatchers! Do you understand what I'm getting at? I shall abandon the body of Anastasia Uulamets and I will take yours! |
| FUZZY: | Wh--?! Aargh! You wouldn't dare! |
| ANASTASIA: | It's just such a shame that in order to enter your body, I will have to kill you first. Once the transferral is complete, Iwill be you. No one will know that Iam not the true ruler, and the largest star system in the universe will bow tome. I can control the whole galaxy and those pathetic fools will never even suspect that you are dead! It is a perfect plan. I should have thought of itsooner. |
| FUZZY: | You... you'll never get away with this! |
| ANASTASIA: | Oh, but you're wrong. Nothing can stop me now. Roberto, kill him. |
| EASTER BUNNY: | With pleasure, Duchess. |
| (Before the Easter Bunnycan act, his mouth is suddenly forced open and Chris Rabbo climbs out.) | |
| ANASTASIA: | What on Nerpalon 12 is-- |
| EASTER BUNNY: | Yuck! Yuck! I had a Rabbo in my mouth! |
| RABBO: | Sorry to barge in. I just moved in next door and I was wondering if I could borrow a cup of Fuzzy? I'm all out, and-- |
| ANASTASIA: | Stab-Stabs! Smoky! Kill them both! But kill Rabbo more! He will suffer for his crimes against the Anastasians. |
| RABBO: | Ah... still angry about the way my friends and I defeated your evil machinations and had you sent to prison for life, eh? Never heard of "forgive and forget", eh? I'll explain. See, I'll forgive you for trying to kill me, if you forget who you are. Sound fair? |
| ANASTASIA: | What...what am I doing here? Who am I? |
| EASTER BUNNY: | I wish I could remember why I have such a foul taste in my mouth... in fact, I wish I could remember who my mouth belongs to. |
| PUMMEL: | (to Pommel) Who are you? |
| POMMEL: | Um...your brother? |
| PUMMEL: | Well, who am I? |
| POMMEL: | My brother. |
| PUMMEL: | Oh. |
| (Smoky just stands there,looking thick. Rabbo unties Fuzzy.) | |
| FUZZY: | How did you do that, Chris? They've all forgotten their identities! |
| RABBO: | It won't last long. We'd best get out of here. |
| ANASTASIA: | Too late! Your trickery was a little short-lived! I don't know what you did to us, but its effects have worn off. Quickly, Smoky, before they pull another stunt like the last one. |
| (Smoky grabs Fuzzy and Rabbo.) | |
| RABBO: | Help! |
| (Suddenly a small starship smashes through the roof. Smoky is knocked over and drops Fuzzy and Chris.Hoppy and Laff leap out of the ship, armed with blasters, which they aim at Anastasia and her gang.) | |
| HOPPY: | Hiya, Fuzz. Long time no see. |
| LAFF: | Throw down your weapons, Anastasians, or Hop and I will fill you full of hot light. |
| (Anastasia produces a small gun and throws it on the ground at Laff's feet. The Easter Bunny does the same with four blasters and a basked of brightly coloured Easter Egg grenades. Pommel throws down eight samurai swords, a few dozen shuriken, a handful of caltrops, a small dagger, a crossbow, several poisoned darts, a typewriter, and a huge atomic bomb. Pummel begins to make choking noises and spits a sword out of his mouth.) | |
| POMMEL: | Idiot! He said "Throw down your weapons"! |
| LAFF: | Good. Hoppy? |
| (Hoppy cautiously gathers up the weapons.) | |
| HOPPY: | Right. Anastasia, you have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be... too loud, annoying, indicative of your selfish and generally bitchy nature, and-- |
| ANASTASIA: | For heaven's sake, Smoky! Kill them all! |
| LAFF: | Be like that, then! |
| (Laff, Hoppy, Fuzzy and Chris bolt. Smoky is about the follow, but Anastasia says:) | |
| ANASTASIA: | Don't bother, Smoky. Once they reach the palace they're beyond our reach at this time. |
| EASTER BUNNY: | Curses! They defeated us again! And they took all our weapons! |
| ANASTASIA: | We have more weapons aboard our new ship. This is but a minor inconvenience. They will not best me this time. We will initiate Plan B. |
| PUMMEL: | What's Plan B? |
| ANASTASIA: | 'Get pissed off'. And we will have to relocate our hideout. |
| (She holds up one of her hands. On her index finger is a ring that is set with a large green stone.) | |
| ANASTASIA: | And I know exactly where we can go. |
| (Cut to the throne-room. Sasha, Rabbitskovic, Voddle, Skunky, Muncher, Goat, Lennie, Tessa, Bunniquette, Pirica, Gumman. Rabbo enters.) | |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | Where the hell did you disappear to? |
| RABBO: | I just went to rescue Fuzzy. And I picked up a couple of UBF agents while I was out. |
| (Fuzzy, Hoppy and Laff enter.) | |
| SASHA: | Fuzzy! |
| RABBITSKOVIC: | Your Majesty! |
| GUMMAN: | Welcome back, Laff old boy. |
| MUNCHER: | How did you escape from the Anastasians? |
| FUZZY: | Hoppy arrived just in time. Unfortunately we were unable to recapture them, but we had to leave in a hurry. That Smoky guy is tough! I hope Abbie and her lot get here soon! |
| RABBO: | I didn't think Anastasia would get here this quickly. If she nabs Abbie and co. before they reach the palace... |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | Abbie's not stupid... she'll reach the palace safely. She-- |
| (Suddenly Voddle begins to convulse.) | |
| MUNCHER: | Voddle! What's wrong! |
| SKUNKY: | The Easter Bunny's gun must have some delayed-action effect on the target. Get over here, Willits! We have to save him! |
| (Gumman rushes over to Voddle and Skunky and the two doctors try to work out what is wrong with the gardener.) | |
| GUMMAN: | He's going into cardiac arrest! His brain's shutting down! I think his appendix just burst! Oh, no! Doctor Skunky! If we don't get him to a hospital immediately, he'll-- |
| (Voddle dies.) | |
| SKUNKY: | We're too late. He's gone. |
| SASHA: | Oh, no! Anastasia and her cunning minions have caused the death of our loyal and trusted gardener. This is a tragedy. |
| RABBO: | Yeah. Now who's gonna prune the roses? |
| RABBITSKOVIC: | Fool! Have some respect for the dead! Voddle was a good bunny! |
| GOATEE: | Uncle Voddle! Miss Skunky Doctor fix Uncle Voddle! |
| SKUNKY: | I'm sorry, Goatee. Your uncle is dead. |
| (Disembowelled Goat begins to cry.) | |
| RABBITSKOVIC: | Goatee's parents are also dead. They were killed in a gardening accident shortly after the child's birth. Voddle was her last living relative. Now she is alone. |
| HOPPY: | That's terrible! Who's going to look after her now? |
| SASHA: | We will. As of this moment, King Fuzzy and I officially adopt the child known as Disembowelled Goat. |
| FUZZY: | We do? |
| SASHA: | Yes, we do. She is now our baby, Fuzzy. And Anastasia will pay for the death of Voddle. |
| LAFF: | I just hope Abbie gets here in time. |
| RABBO: | Yes. The-- |
| (Lucky suddenly materialises in front of Rabbo.) | |
| RABBO: | Oh dear. Good afternoon, Lucky. |
| LUCKY: | Treacherous swine! How dare you hide this from me? |
| FUZZY: | Hide what? What has Chris been hiding? What do you mean, Lucky? |
| LUCKY: | All this time, you kept this a secret! Mine own father kept this information from me! The Mighty Aracus has made me look like a fool! |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | What the hell are you talking about, God-boy? |
| LUCKY: | Mine father hath used his magics to hide the truth from us. But now I hath discovered the secret of Christopher Rabbo. |
| LAFF: | You're not making sense, Lucky. |
| RABBO: | I was rather hoping that Lucky wouldn't find out so soon. |
| (Rabbo begins to grow, and in moments he barely fits in the room. His eyes glow with an unearthly blue light.) | |
| LUCKY: | Mortals, allow me to introduce to you - Christopher Rabbo, the Bunny God of Botherance! |
| FUZZY: | Hello-excuse-me-what? |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | I married a God?! |
| HOPPY: | No way! No, no way! |
| GUMMAN: | This explains a lot of things. God of Botherance, eh? Yep. He bothers me, all right. |
| SASHA: | Why did you never tell us this, Christopher? |
| RABBO: | Um... undercover God? |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | Well if you're a God, get the hell out of there and beat up the Anastasians! Like, as in Now!! |
| RABBO: | Dad told me there'd be days like this. 'Son,' he said,'Son, don't ever tell Lucky that you're his twin br--' ... Oh dear. I shouldn't have said that. |
| LUCKY: | Thou art mine brother? Grr! I shalt destroyeth you! |
| RABBO: | You're getting on my nerves. Shoo. |
| (Rabbo snaps his fingers and Lucky vanishes.) | |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | What exactly does a Botherance God do? |
| RABBO: | Anything. Anything at all, as long as it bothers someone. |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | Well, at least you're good at your job. |
| (The credits roll.) |