| KING FUZZY TRILOGY PART TWO: |
| KING FUZZY AND THE GOD OF BOTHERANCE |
| (Sasha's throne-room. Sasha (with Goatee), Rabbitskovic, Muncher, Skunky, Lennie, Tessa, Pirica, Gumman, Bunniquette, Hoppy, Laff.) |
| PIRICA: | I must admit I'm a little worried, Queen Sasha. It's been weeks since Fuzzy called Abbie, and she still hasn't arrived. |
| SASHA: | I'm sure she's perfectly safe. |
| (The doors explode inwards and a huge ball of fire zooms in, landing in the centre of the room. The flames vanish, revealing Fuzzy and Rabbo.) |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | Quite a flair for the dramatic, Rabbo. Now that we all know your secret, you're quite proud of being a God, aren't you? |
| RABBO: | Who wouldn't be? |
| FUZZY: | We were just in the Insectblanket, trying to contact Abbie and her family aboard the Sea Kidney. |
| HOPPY: | And? |
| FUZZY: | No answer. Couldn't get through. For all we know, the Sea Kidney may no longer exist. |
| (A familiar voice says:) |
| ABBIE: | It doesn't. |
| (Everyone turns to the door, where they see Abbie.) |
| FUZZY: | Abbie! You made it! What took you so long? |
| ABBIE: | The Anastasians destroyed the Sea Kidney. Westminster, Ralph, and my father were all killed. I barely escaped with my life. |
| (Abbie suddenly tears off her clothes, revealing a stunning purple dress underneath that is easily recognisable as Anastasia's.) |
| ABBIE: | And Abbie didn't escape with hers! |
| FUZZY: | Anastasia! |
| SASHA: | What? Fuzzy, don't be ridiculous. That's Abbie! She's just wearing an....uncharacteristically purple dress. |
| FUZZY: | No! |
| (He rushes up to Abbie and begins to shake her.) |
| FUZZY: | You heartless bitch! If you've killed Abbie and her family, I'll-- |
| SASHA: | Fuzzy! Stop that! Have you gone mad? You'll hurt her! |
| (Muncher draws his blaster.) |
| MUNCHER: | No, my Queen! I think King Fuzzy is right! Anastasia has used her body snatching powers to enter Abbie! Step away from the King and put your hands up, Anastasia. |
| ABBIE: | I think not. |
| (Abbie grabs Fuzzy and produces a knife, which she presses to his throat.) |
| ABBIE: | You will all obey me, or your King will he killed. |
| SASHA: | Abbie!What are you-- |
| ABBIE: | Wake up and smell the champagne, Sash, honey! Fuzzboy and the UBF guy are right! I'm not Abbie! I'm Anastasia Sarossy-Mammalworth! Abbie, Biggles, Earless and the chainsaw are all dead. |
| (Chris begins to snigger. Bunniquette kicks him.) |
| BUNNQUETTE: | This is serious, goofball! Anastasia's got a knife to Fuzzy! |
| RABBO: | Yeah! And I thought Fuzzy didn't know how to have fun! |
| ABBIE: | Shut up, Rabbo. I don't like you much. Now, you - the Regent. |
| RABBITSKOVIC: | ... Yes? |
| ABBIE: | Tell your palace guards that the Easter Bunny, the Stab-Stabs, and Smoky will all be permitted to enter the palace and make their way to the throne-room. |
| RABBITSKOVIC: | Never! I won't allow such criminals to set foot inside the palace! |
| ABBIE: | Fine. I hope you've got a good mop, though. Bunny blood is so messy. |
| RABBITSKOVIC: | Ah. Yes. Very well. Your orders will be carried out. Just don't hurt the King. |
| RABBO: | Hold it. Anastasia, may I ask you a question? |
| ABBIE: | ...Yes? What? |
| RABBO: | Would it... bother you if all of a sudden you were back in your previous body and Abbie and her family were right here and perfectly healthy? |
| ABBIE: | Well of course it would bother me! But our instruments assured us that your pet Thunder God was not here at this time, so there'll be no miracles foryou today. |
| RABBO: | Ah, yes, but your instruments are not powerful enough to detect the presence of undercover gods. |
| ABBIE: | Pardon? |
| RABBO: | Boo! |
| (Anastasia's previous body, Westminster, Earless and Ralph appear. Abbie is still holding Anastasia's knife to Fuzzy's throat. She drops it quickly.) |
| ABBIE: | Hey...weren't we dead a minute ago? |
| LAFF: | Boring, isn't it? |
| WESTMINSTER: | Oh, I don't know. I quite liked it. Especially the lack of Rabbo. |
| ANASTASIA: | How come I'm back in Anastasia Uulamets' body? What the fuck is going on? I just killed you guys! |
| EARLESS: | It'll take more than death to shut me up, lady! |
| MUNCHER: | Anastasia Sarossy-Mammalworth, you are under arrest for the murders of Abbigail Cleveland-Biggles, Westminster J. Biggles, James Cleveland and Ralph Chainsaw. |
| WESTMINSTER: | Yeah! You'll pay for killing me, you bitch! |
| ANASTASIA: | None of this stuff was supposed to happen. How did you do this, Rabbo? |
| RABBO: | Just lucky, I guess. |
| FUZZY: | We've got you this time, Anna. Warden Ichorpuss won't let you escape again. |
| ANASTASIA: | My Anastasians will avenge me! Pommel! |
| (Abbie's hair parts (!) and Pommel Stab-Stab leaps out, swords drawn.) |
| POMMEL: | Ha! A trained ninja like myself is an expert at self-concealment! Prepare to die, un-villains! |
| (Pommel lunges at Fuzzy and swings his sword. Fuzzy is about to lose his head, but Hoppy intervenes, grabbing Pommel's arm in mid-slash.) |
| POMMEL: | Hey! Let go! I'm trying to decapitate your King. |
| HOPPY: | Stick it up your rabbit-hole, pal. |
| (She punches him in the face and he drops to the floor, unconscious. Hoppy is still holding his wrist. She grabs his swords and flings him at Anastasia.) |
| HOPPY: | I am so sick of losers like you guys causing trouble! I blew up Rufus and Yasta and I'll blow you up, too! |
| ANASTASIA: | What? |
| HOPPY: | I just attached a tiny bomb to Pommel's body. |
| ANASTASIA: | You're mad! You'll kill us all! |
| HOPPY: | No, just you and Pommel. You see, the device I used is a Foozamblian Bang-Tab. A smart-bomb, basically. It's programmed to cause an explosion that will only kill bad guys. |
| ANASTASIA: | Shit. Help! |
| (A deep, booming voice says:) |
| D, B VOICE: | Did someone call for help? |
| (A shapeless blob of goo appears beside Anastasia.) |
| SHAPELESS BLOB: | Always getting yourself into trouble, eh, Nunklon? |
| (The blob jumps onto Pommel and eats the bomb before it has a chance to explode.) |
| HOPPY: | Hey!The bomb's meant to detonate if someone tries to remove it! |
| SHAPELESS BLOB: | I'm too tricky for that sort of thing. Now, "Anastasia", let's get out of here. |
| ANASTASIA: | Yes, master. We'll have to pick up the rest of my servants on our way out.They're waiting at the door. |
| BLOB: | Fine. |
| HOPPY: | Muncher! Skunky! Don't let then get away! Shoot them! |
| (Muncher and Skunky fire, but they're too late. Anastasia, Pommel and the blob vanish. After they're gone, the blob can be heard to say:) |
| D, B VOICE: | Ner, ner! We got away! But we'll be back! |
| (before his voice fades away.) |
| MUNCHER: | They got away! |
| LAFF: | But what was that blobby thing? The voice sounded familiar. |
| WESTMINSTER: | Well, let's see... how many shapeless, gooey blobs do we know with deep, booming voices? |
| ALL ELSE: | None. |
| WESTMINSTER: | That's what I thought. |
| FUZZY: | Chris, surely you could have used your Botherance powers to capture them for us? |
| RABBO: | No. That's what you guys all wanted me to do, and your hope was too powerful. It cancelled out Anastasia's Botherance Factor, and I was unable to act. And besides, that blobby-thing, it's ... oh, never mind. I'll tell you later. |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | Our hope negated your powers? That's a really lame excuse, you know. |
| RABBO: | I've got a pet walrus. |
| EARLESS: | Oh, yeah? Well, I hate walruses. One attacked me once. |
| RABBO: | Oh? Do tell. |
| EARLESS: | The bastard animal bit my ears clean off. |
| RABBO: | They're notorious for ear-biting. That's why I keep mine in an ear-proof tank. |
| WESTMINSTER: | I hate Chris Rabbo. |
| (Credits.) |