| EPISODE ONE | |
| REBEL FLIGHT | |
| (The year is 4383. A photo of a young, beautiful female bunny appears on the screen. She is wearing a very black leather jacket and rather faded jeans. Her hair is of sorta medium length and an attractive light brown. She is wearing yellow gloves. A nimbus of swirling pink energy encircles her left hand. Over the photo we see the following words:) | |
| DISEMBOWELLED GOAT UULAMETS HEIR TO THE THRONE OF THE NERPALON SYSTEM. MAGICAL ABILITIES OF UNKNOWN PARAMETERS. | |
| (Another photo: a slightly younger bunny, male, wearing a UBF battlesuit and a thickly padded (and muy stylish) grey UBF Survival Jacket. He is also wearing what are best described as sun-glasses, with strangely gleaming purple lenses.) | |
| GLOCK SPIELBERG SON OF HIGH RANKING UBF OFFICIAL. SUSPECTED BFD: ABLE TO FIRE BLASTS OF CONCUSSIVE FORCE FROM PALMS. | |
| (Photo three appears: Another male, also wearing a UBF S-Jacket, and a black one-piece Nunklon Combat Skin which stretches from his ankles to his neck. His eyes sport a healthy green glow.) | |
| OONF BUNNY CHILD BORN TO NUNKLON PARENTS SUSPECTED BFD: ABLE TO ENTER VICTIMS’ BODIES AND ‘POSSESS’ THEM WITHOUT CAUSING DEATH. | |
| (Cut to the streets of a ruined city. Rubble everywhere. This is Fleeton, the capital city of Ubunnia. Suddenly from around a corner come the bunnies from the first three photos, racing along on hi-tech hoverbikes at incredible speeds. Goatee is in the lead.) | |
| GOATEE: | Jesus! Speed it up, gang! They’re right behind us! |
| GLOCK: | We’re goin’ as fast as we can, Diamonds! |
| GOATEE: | Don’t call me ‘Diamonds’! |
| (A fourth photo: another female bunny. Long blond hair. She is wearing a fur-tight one-piece pink swimming costume and an S-Jacket. Goatee is very cute, but this bunny is unbelievably gorgeous.) | |
| NANCY MORRISON DAUGHTER OF RICH NERPALONIAN CELEBRITY SUSPECTED BFD: HIGH-LEVEL TELEPATHIC AND TELEKINETIC POWERS. | |
| (Five: A very familiar looking lass – it’s Hoppy. Hoppy IX, that is. Longer hair, dyed bright pink. UBF S-Jacket and a short orange skirt. Next to her stands a nearly identical bunny, but this one (Hoppy X) has not dyed her hair, and it is its natural colour – jet black. Hoppy X is wearing a purple pair of shorts as opposed to her sister’s skirt, but is also wearing an S-Jacket.) | |
| HOPPY SORENSEN (HOPPY LASHES IX) AND LASHER SORENSEN (HOPPY LASHES X) TWIN ORPHANS – IDENTITIES OF PARENTS UNKNOWN CONFIRMED BFDS: HOPPY: ABILITY TO MANIPULATE WEATHER PATTERNS LASHER: ABILITY TO GENERATE LOCALISED SEISMIC ACTIVITY. | |
| (The sixth photo shows a handsome young bunny in an S-Jacket and jeans. His hair, like Lasher’s, is also black, but significantly longer and tied back in a pony-tail (yes, that’s PONY, not BUNNY). This bunny is powerfully built.) | |
| DIF SEVILLE SON OF POVERTY-STRICKEN PEASANT COUPLE FROM NERPALON 18. SUSPECTED BFD: SUPERHUMAN STRENGTH AND INVULNERABILITY TO PHYSICAL ATTACKS; LIMIT OF INVULNERABILITY UNKNOWN.) | |
| (The same street. Goatee, Glock and Oonf are long gone. Also on hoverbikes,Nancy, Hoppy, Lasher and Dif zoom into shot, following Goatee and friends.) | |
| DIF: | We’d better move, guys! Goatee and the others are way ahead of us, and those creeps behind us are closing the gap! |
| HOPPY: | I don’t see why we don’t just beat the crap out of them, instead of running away! |
| NANCY: | Now, Hopper, you know that we’re too— |
| LASHER: | Both of you shut up and ride! We ain’t got all day! |
| (Photo seven: Another set of twins, this time male. Both wearing S-Jackets, the first also wearing a t-shirt (with ‘Bunniquette O’Bunbun: Defenestrated Petunias’ written on it) and the second a pair of black jeans with huge yellow patches over the knees.) | |
| FINCH TAKASHI (FINCH I) AND SKEND TAKASHI (FINCH II) TWIN SONS OF JAPANESE STARSHIP MERCHANT SUSPECTED BFDS: FINCH: ABILITY TO INTUITIVELY SPEAK AND COMPREHEND ANY SPOKEN LANGUAGE. SKEND: ABILITY TO INTUITIVELY DECIPHER ANY WRITTEN LANGUAGE; ALSO POSSESSES POWER OF FLIGHT. | |
| (Photo number eight: Good grief! It’s a young Mal Bunny in an S-Jacket! Literally!) | |
| MAL JOHN TOM CHRIS FERDINAND BUNNY (‘FERDIE’) ORPHAN – IDENTITY OF PARENTS UNKNOWN. CONFIRMED BFD: PYROKINETIC ABILITIES. | |
| (Shit! Save us! Mal Bunny with a built-in flamethrower!) | |
| (Cut to the ruined street again. It is empty again, until Finch, Skend and Ferdie zoom around the corner on their hoverbikes.) | |
| SKEND: | Move it, move it! The Nunklon soldiers are right behind us! |
| FINCH: | Cool your jets, professor! We go any faster, these hoverbikes’ll have a fit! |
| SKEND: | The Nunks’ll have a fit if they catch us! Difference is, the hoverbikes won’t torture us for weeks before murdering us in cold blood! |
| FERDIE: | So quit yapping and accelerate! |
| (They zoom off out of sight. Roaring around the corner come the soldiers who are chasing them: Nunklons, on bigger, nastier hoverbikes. This is, I’m sure you’re aware, our first sighting of Nunklons in their original form. They basically resemble bunnies, but are kind of green and wrinkly. Standard Generic Hideously Ugly Alien Monsters. There are five of them.) | |
| NUNKLON 1: | Hurry! If the rebels escape, the Lords will have our hides! |
| NUNKLON 2: | We’re gaining on them, Commander Grzshfik. |
| NUNKLON 1: | Well, gain faster! |
| (Cut to a dark alley. The rebels are there, out of breath: Goatee, Glock, Oonf, Nancy, Hoppy, Lasher, Dif, Finch, Skend and Ferdie. They are no longer on their hoverbikes, but standing beside them.) | |
| GLOCK: | Whew! That was one wild chase! |
| GOATEE: | We’re not safe yet. Keep quiet, or the Nunks’ll find us. |
| HOPPY: | Heck, Goat, you know we could whip ‘em! There’s only five, and there’s ten of us, and we’ve got our powers, and— |
| GOATEE: | I don’t want them killed! If we go around murdering anyone who chases us, we’re as bad as them! |
| SKEND: | Us, as bad as Nunklons? You’re nuts, Princess! No one could be as bad as the Nunklons! |
| GOATEE: | Okay, so they’re a little angry. You would be too, if eighteen years ago your base of operations was destroyed and then the culprits blew up your entire home planet! |
| LASHER: | You’re defending the Nunklons against the UBF? Wake up, Comrade! The UBF were— |
| GOATEE: | Don’t call me ‘Comrade’! And I know what the UBF were! They were a highly skilled organisation of warriors devoted to the salvation of the bunny race! But now... Glock is all that’s left on Earth of the UBF, and he’s only a Junior Cadet. Since the Nunklons vaporised Tooty-Mondongo, we— |
| OONF: | Shh! I smell Nunklons! |
| SKEND: | Damn it! The soldiers have found us! |
| (The five Nunklons burst round the corner into the alley, still on their hoverbikes. The leader, Commander Grzshfik, says:) | |
| GRZSHFIK: | Nabbed you at last, eh, rebels? Surrender, or die! |
| LASHER: | Who’re you kidding, slimy? You’ll kill us whether we surrender or not. |
| GLOCK: | I think not! |
| (Glock attacks Grzshfik with one of his concussive energy blasts. Grzshfik’s hoverbike is blown to pieces, throwing the startled Grzshfik.) | |
| GLOCK: | A simple Glockblast does the job! You want I should disassemble the other four, Diamonds? |
| GOATEE: | Don’t call me ‘Diamonds’! Lasher! Take the second! Nancy, Hopper, Dif! Go! |
| (The second Nunklon is swallowed up by the very Earth as Lasher attacks him with her seismic powers. Nancy uses her telepathy to switch off the third soldier’s brain. The fourth one is about to shoot Goatee when a bolt of lightning erupts from the sky and fries him. The final Nunklon attempts to flee, but is grabbed by Dif, who takes out the guy with one punch. Of the Nunklon soldiers, only Grzshfik is still conscious.) | |
| GOATEE: | How do you like them carrots, parasite? |
| GRZSHFIK: | So it’s true! You people are the last of the BFDs! You still retain your powers because you were conceived before the Legacy was cancelled! |
| HOPPY: | What the Walrus is he talking about? |
| GOATEE: | Ancient history! He’s mad! You crazy Nunklon! Are you seriously suggesting that these nine companions of mine are the lost children of Hoppy Lashes VIII and Mal Bunny? |
| GRZSHFIK: | It’s a fact, bunny scum! |
| GOATEE: | It’s a load of crap is what it is! Those children were sent off into the wombs of nine different bunnies across the universe when Hoppy Lashes VIII took her Telebortion pill! There’s no way that— |
| HOPPY: | Hoppy Lashes VIII? Legacy? What are you guys humaning on about? |
| GOATEE: | A fairy-tale that my father used to tell me, about a giant zucchini god and a family of heroes... but it was only a fairy-tale! The stuff of legends! But this mad fool Nunklon reckons that you people are BFDs! Heroic warriors with amazing superhuman powers! |
| GLOCK: | Well, heck, I’d say we fit that description. |
| FINCH: | Yeah. How else do you explain these powers we have? |
| GOATEE: | Well... uh... genetic mutation. A random combination of— |
| GRZSHFIK: | Oh, just admit it! They’re BFDs! |
| GOATEE: | Ridiculous! Granted, Hoppy and Lasher do slightly resemble Hoppy Lashes, and... there’s a barely noticeable similarity in nomenclature... ‘ Hoppy Lashes’, ‘ Hoppy and Lasher’... and sure, Ferdie looks a little like Mal... but get real! You believe that somehow, by sheer coincidence, the last nine Bunny Fun Descendants in the whole universe just happen to be members of the same anti- Nunklon resistance group? Outrageous. |
| DIF: | Yes, it is outrageous! I always wanted to know where I got my power from! This is cool! Why didn’t you tell us before, Princess? |
| GOATEE: | Because I don’t think that— |
| GRZSHFIK: | I might just leave you people to debate this alone. Toodles! |
| (Pressing a button on his belt, Grzshfik vanishes.) | |
| GLOCK: | Oh, no! He was wearing an Actatian Telebelt. He got away! |
| HOPPY: | No shit, Muncher! Where’d you pick up those keen skills of observation? A yard sale? |
| GLOCK: | Oh, muy droll, babe. Lucu sekali, ya? |
| THE REST (BUT FINCH): | Huh? |
| FINCH: | He said ‘Oh, very droll. Very funny, yes?’. |
| DIF: | Did he? |
| FINCH, GLOCK: | Yes. |
| FINCH: | A pinch of Mexican thrown into a barrel of Bahasa Indonesia. Just to impress the viewers with the scriptwriter’s vast linguistic ability. |
| LASHER: | Since when does Glock Spielberg know Indonesian? |
| GLOCK: | Since I did Asian Studies at Techage. I— |
| HOPPY: | Here we go. ‘When I was at the UBF’... |
| GLOCK: | Well pardon me! I expected at least a little gratitude! If it wasn’t for me and my UBF contacts, you guys wouldn’t be safe and happy in your deluxe S-Jackets. They’re bloody expensive, you know. They can carry twelve days of rations and provisions, have built-in weaponry systems, enable us to survive in conditions from minus eighty to four hundred and thirty degrees, fold out into one-bunny tents, can be inflated for use as life rafts, contain— |
| GOATEE: | We get the picture! We’re grateful already! Enough Rabbo-jawing. |
| OONF: | Yes. This endless talking achieves nothing. We need to decide on our course of action. |
| NANCY: | We already know our plan. We ride around Fleeton until we find the bunny who can help us. |
| DIF: | Get real, Nance! We don’t even know if she really exists! All those stories about the ‘Quintessa Bunnyon’ could be complete walrus-shit! |
| NANCY: | No! I’m sure they’re true! The Quintessa Bunnyon! A kind and gentle woman who aids rebels in the fight against the Nunklon Lords! I’m positive she’s more than a myth! |
| OONF: | We’d better hope so. |
| GOATEE: | Yeah. Well... here’s the plan. Hoppy, Lasher, Dif, Finch and Skend, I want you five to make your way to the centre of the city and try to find the abandoned Nunklon base – you know, the one with the teleporter station that’s linked directly to Grondoglicon. If you can get to Grondoglicon, you can contact my mum and get help. Glock, Oonf, Nancy, Ferdie and I will continue the search for the Quintessa Bunnyon. |
| LASHER: | Are you sure splitting up is wise? |
| GOATEE: | No. But it’s what we’re doing. |
| LASHER: | Well, it’s your call, Comrade. If you want us to split up, we’ll split up. |
| GOATEE: | Yes, we will. And don’t call me ‘Comrade’. |
| (Lasher, Hoppy, Finch, Skend and Dif climb onto their hoverbikes.) | |
| HOPPY: | Good bye, then. |
| DIF: | Take care, Princess. Good luck finding the Quintessa Bunnyon. |
| SKEND: | We’ll do our best to find the teleporter. See you. |
| LASHER: | Bye. |
| FINCH: | Sampai bertemu lagi, teman-teman saya. |
| THE OTHERS (EXCEPT GLOCK): | Huh? |
| FINCH: | Until we meet again, my friends! |
| (Hoppy, Lasher, Finch, Skend and Dif ride off. Soon they are out of sight.) | |
| FERDIE: | Here’s hoping they succeed. |
| GOATEE: | If we can just contact the Nerpalon System, everything will be fine. |
| NANCY: | Yes, but the Nunklons have destroyed every interplanetary radio on Earth. There’s no way we can send a message to Nerpalon 12. |
| GOATEE: | That’s why it’s essential that the others can find the Grondoglicon Link. Otherwise, we’re Rufussed. |
| NANCY: | Yes. I pray that we encounter the Quintessa Bunnyon as soon as possible! |
| (A voice from the shadows says:) | |
| VOICE: | Just so happens I’m right here. How can I help? |
| (A beautiful young bunny steps out into the light. The Quintessa Bunnyon.) | |
| NANCY & GLOCK: | The Quintessa Bunnyon! |
| GOATEE: | What? No way! That can’t be the Quintessa! |
| NANCY: | It is! My telepathic powers confirm that! We’ve finally found the Quintessa Bunnyon! |
| QUINTESSA: | Long time, no see, Disembowelled. |
| FERDIE: | Goat! You know the Quintessa? |
| GOATEE: | Quintessa my tail! That’s Anastasia Sarossy-Mammalworth! My grandmother! |
| (Credits.) |
Next Episode
Fuzzy Bunny: The Next Generation
Fuzzy Bunny Show Home