SPCAGTV, ARTIE'S WARD PRODUCTIONS AND OYSTERCO PRESENT
| (The opening credits roll as we watch the Tonsilcrash gliding through space. The Opening Theme ('Fill The World With Love' by Petula Clark. Cope.) plays.) | |
| (After the credits and the song, we zoom in to see Pirica swimming in the pool that is situated on the top of the ship, surrounded by a protective plastic dome. Reclining on a deck chair next to the pool is Willits Gumman, wearing sun glasses. He is wistfully watching Pirica swim.) | |
| GUMMAN: | Oh, Pirica! Why do you fraternise with that nasty little incubus when you've got a good, decent bunny like me in love with you? Sigh... |
| (Cut to a hospital room aboard the ship. In a bed, attached to several life-support machines, is the comatose Jetty. Laff is sitting on a chair next to the bed, dozing restlessly. Happy looks in.) | |
| HOPPY: | Oh, Laff! There's nothing you can do for her! |
| (Cut to the Nursery. Fuzzy, Baik-baik, Sasha, Goatee.Fuzzy is holding Goatee.) | |
| BAIK-BAIK: | Little Goat missed you while you were away, King - I missed her, too. |
| SASHA: | Have you figured out why your sisters kidnapped you? |
| FUZZY: | Still got absolutely no idea. |
| SASHA: | Perhaps they're both simply deranged. |
| FUZZY: | That's not a very comforting thought. It's bad enough being kidnapped by your two sisters at all, but it's worse when one's a vampire and the other one's the Limbo Queen of Purgatory. If they're deranged, it becomes unthinkably awful! |
| SASHA: | I suppose you may be having a point. |
| (The Common Room. Oyster, Abbie, Westminster, Rabbo, Bunniquette. Bunniquette is doing a crossword. Rabbo and Oyster are playing Scrabble. It's Rabbo's turn. He puts down a word and says:) | |
| RABBO: | There! Fifty-eight points. |
| OYSTER: | Are you sure that's a real word? |
| RABBO: | 'Trizongulatious'? Of course. |
| OYSTER: | What's it mean? |
| RABBO: | 'Having Walrus-like Propensities'. |
| OYSTER: | Well, I guess you'd know. |
| (Oyster has his go.) | |
| RABBO: | 'Rat'? How creative. May I bottle your juices and sell them to Japanese telepaths? |
| OYSTER: | No. I hate telepaths. |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | Hey, guys, what's a five letter word meaning 'potentially dangerous lunatic'? |
| WESTMINSTER: | 'Rabbo'. |
| RABBO: | Hey! Don't say that about me! |
| OYSTER: | Yeah! Don't say that about him! |
| RABBO: | 'Potentially' indeed! Humph! |
| WESTMINSTER: | Moron. |
| RABBO: | Less on. |
| WESTMINSTER: | Oh, shut up! |
| (Lennie enters.) | |
| LENNIE: | Yo, gang - anyone seen the boss? |
| ABBIE: | Pirica? I think she said she was going swimming. |
| LENNIE: | Right. I'll head for the Rec Deck then. |
| (Cut to the Rec Deck, the location of the Swimming Pool. Pirica is just climing out of the pool when lennie comes up) | |
| PIRICA: | Hi, Lennie. Taking a dip? |
| LENNIE: | No, I was looking for you. |
| PIRICA: | What's up? |
| LENNIE: | Take a look over the side of the ship. |
| (Pirica follows Lennie to the edge of the Rec Deck, and they both look out through the plastic dome over the side of the Tonsilcrash.) | |
| PIRICA: | Goodness! What's that? |
| (Right in front of the Tonsilcrash is another spaceship, nearly as big. It looks deserted - no lights or signs of life. On the side of the deserted ship, in very large red letters, 'BFXXXI' is written.) | |
| LENNIE: | A ship. We nearly ran into it. It doesn't register on any of our sensors. We tried to radio them, but got no answer. |
| (Gumman comes over to investigate.) | |
| GUMMAN: | Anything interesting? |
| PIRICA: | Just a seemingly deserted Orion Class Star Destroyer with 'BFXXXI' written on the side. |
| GUMMAN: | Ah. |
| (Cut to the Bridge. Earless, Howie, Mal. The deserted ship can be seen out the front window. Hoppy enters.) | |
| HOPPY: | Hi, Mal. What's -- |
| (She sees the ship, and the writing on its hull.) | |
| HOPPY: | --that?? |
| MAL: | A ship. It's just floating there. We can't get through to the crew. |
| HOPPY: | On the hull-it says...'BFXXXI'...? |
| EARLESS: | Yes! She can be taught! |
| HOPPY: | Shut up, Cleveland! Mal! Get Bunniquette and Skunky. Tell them to suit up. We're going across to that ship. |
| MAL: | Hadn't you better speak to Admiral DeBunny before you go off and -- |
| HOPPY: | Now! |
| (Cut to the Common Room, as before. Mal rushes in.) | |
| MAL: | Quette! Get your spacesuit on and meet Hop at the primary airlock! |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | What? How come? |
| MAL: | How should I know? Ask her. |
| (Cut to Skunky's office, where she sits doing paperwork. Mal enters.) | |
| SKUNKY: | Hi, Mal. |
| MAL: | Hate to interrupt, but Hoppy wants to see you. She's waiting at the airlock. Take your spacesuit. |
| SKUNKY: | But I-- |
| MAL: | It's important. |
| (The Tonsilcrash's large library. Fuzzy is sitting at a computer typing.) | |
| FUZZY: | ....it's been a long time since I wrote a 'Star Bunnies' script. I'd forgotten how much fun it was. I'm so glad we're not stuck on Nerpalon 12 any more. It was so boring! |
| (The Rec Deck. Gumman, Ric and Lennie are still looking curiously at the mystery ship. Oyster enters.) | |
| OYSTER: | Hiya, sweetie. |
| (Pirica rushes into his arms and they kiss. Gumman winces.) | |
| PIRICA: | Take a look at this. |
| (She shows him the mystery ship.) | |
| OYSTER: | Uh-oh. |
| PIRICA: | What? What 'uh-oh'? |
| OYSTER: | We'd better find Hoppy. |
| (The primary airlock. Hoppy and Bunniquette are there, in their spacesuits. Skunky arrives, also in her spacesuit.) | |
| SKUNKY: | What's the problem, Hoppy? |
| (Hoppy gives each of them a little jet pack, and puts one on herself.) | |
| HOPPY: | I want to show you both something. |
| (Hoppy opens the airlock They see the mystery ship. And the writing.) | |
| QUETTE & SKUNKY: | 'BFXXXI'! From your dreams! |
| HOPPY: | Yes. Inky was warning me about something. And I have a feeling I'm about to find out what. |
| (Back to Fuzzy, still typing in the library. Fuzzy's Theme ('Neon Rainbow' by Petula Clark - again with the Petula!) plays as he types. He is gazing intently at the computer screen. A tear rolls down his cheek.) | |
| (Cut to the exterior of the mystery ship. Hop, Quette and Skunky have space-walked out to it.) | |
| SKUNKY: | How do we get in? |
| HOPPY: | My trusty laser scalpel will soon unlock the front door! |
| (The Bridge. Earless, Mal, Howie. Pirica, Oyster, Lennie and Gumman enter.) | |
| PIRICA: | Mal, do you know where Hoppy Lashes is? |
| MAL: | No. Last I heard, she was at the airlock in her spacesuit waiting for Bunniquette and Doctor S. |
| PIRICA: | What? Then she's on her way to the ship already? |
| MAL: | I'd imagine so, yes. Why? What's the big deal? |
| OYSTER: | Think about it, brain-boy. You're a BFD - how many people do you know with the initials BF? |
| MAL: | You mean...? |
| OYSTER: | Of course. That ship belongs to Bunny Fun XXXI! |
| MAL: | Yow! |
| OYSTER: | And if Hoppy meets up with him, anything could happen! |
| (The Common Room. Abbie and Westminster.) | |
| ABBIE: | I'm going to the library for a while. |
| WESTMINSTER: | I'll join you as soon as I've finished my coffee. |
| (Cut to Often's throne-room. Often and Nemahelminthe.) | |
| OFTEN: | Yes, Nemahelminthe? What is it? |
| NEMAHELMINTHE: | I thought you'd like to know, my liege, that the starship carrying Powerbus and the four BFDs has just reached the resting place of Bunny Fun's ship. |
| OFTEN: | What? But Hoppy Lashes is aboard Powerbus's ship! She can't be allowed to meet up with-- |
| NEMAHELMINTHE: | I think it's too late. |
| (The banquet hall of Lord Necopinus. Necopinus, Carthage, Scandun, Rone, Farbauti.) | |
| CARTHAGE: | My Lord! |
| NECOPINUS: | Yes, General Carthage? |
| CARTHAGE: | Powerbus and his thralls have discovered the Orion. |
| NECOPINUS: | So soon? But if that oddly unchronological one, Hoppy Lashes VIII, were to-- |
| CARTHAGE: | Too late. |
| NECOPINUS: | What? Alert the Dark Forces! The Limbo Queen will soon make her move! |
| (Cut to Grizzle's Limbo Chamber in Purgatory. Grizzle and Ch'zzi.) | |
| GRIZZLE: | Yes, Ch'zzi? You wish to speak with me? |
| CH'ZZI: | The moment is nigh! |
| (The library. Fuzzy is still sitting at the computer, crying. Abbie enters.) | |
| ABBIE: | Oh, hi, Fuzzy. How are - are you crying? What's wrong?! |
| FUZZY: | Sob... nothing. |
| ABBIE: | It doesn't look like nothing to me. |
| FUZZY: | Just leave me alone, Abbie. |
| ABBIE: | Are you sure that's what you want? |
| (Fuzzy suddenly becomes angry, and flings the computer of the table. It smashes on the floor.) | |
| FUZZY: | What I want? Since when did any of you care what I want? |
| ABBIE: | Fuzzy! What do you mean? |
| FUZZY: | All I wanted was to do a serious space opera! But you fools always turned it into third-rate comedy. My ship, my show, but still you all insisted on ignoring my wishes completely and abusing my hospitality! You all hate me! Admit it! |
| ABBIE: | Fuzzy! Don't say that! |
| FUZZY: | I never asked for much. Just a serious space opera. But you all came to sabotage my show! You're all here to kill me! Admit it! You're all blood-thirsty assassins sent by an evil villain to destroy me! |
| ABBIE: | Don't be ridiculous! Why are you in this ridiculous mood? |
| FUZZY: | I--! I--! I'm... sorry, Abbie. I should never have said those things to you. |
| ABBIE: | It's all right, Fuzzy. |
| FUZZY: | I'm just not sure what I'm doing here any more. Life is boring. |
| ABBIE: | Boring? You've just been rescued from Heaven alter being kidnapped by a vampire and trapped in Hell! |
| FUZZY: | And I wish I was still kidnapped! At least it was exciting! |
| ABBIE: | Careful what you wish for, bunny-boy. |
| (Westminster enters.) | |
| WESTMINSTER: | Hi... are you okay, Fuzz? |
| FUZZY: | Yeah. |
| ABBIE: | Fuzzy, you've got to stop feeling sorry for yourself. Count your blessings! You've got a whole bunch of great friends, and a wonderful wife, and a beautiful daughter, and you just got your brother back after more than ten years... you're just being silly. |
| WESTMINSTER: | Good work, Ab. Drive him to suicide, that's the way. |
| FUZZY: | No... Abbie's right. I'm going to find Oyster. |
| (Cut to a dark corridor somewhere within the Bunny Fun mystery ship. Hoppy, Bunniquette, and Skunky progress down the corridor warily with their blasters at the ready. Hoppy's Theme ("Time Waits For No One" by Dusty Springfield[1])plays as they walk.) | |
| (Cut to the Bridge of the Tonsilcrash. Pirica, Mal, Earless, Oyster, Gumman.) | |
| PIRICA: | Mal, ready the escape pod. We'll use it to get over to Bunny Fun's ship. |
| EARLESS: | I still don't understand what all the fuss is about. |
| OYSTER: | There's a lot of stuff about our Hoppy that you don't know. When I killed Inky, as well as gaining his powers, I also inherited a lot of his knowledge. You gotta trust me on this. It would be... troublesome if Hoppy meets up with whoever's on that ship. |
| (Cut to the Bridge of Bunny Fun's ship. Dark and empty, like the rest of the ship. Hoppy, Bunniquette and Skunky enter.) | |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | Ah. The Bridge. Perhaps now we can find out why a great ship like this is just floating through space with no crew. Something wrong with the engines or the computers or something, I guess. |
| (A familiar voice from behind them says:) | |
| VOICE: | There's nothing wrong with the ship. |
| (Hoppy, Bunniquette and Skunky turn to see... Hoppy. Well... a Hoppy. Her hair is longer, she looks a little younger, and her gun is bigger.) | |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | Hoppy! It's--you! |
| HOPPY: | Oh, shit. |
| HLXXXI: | Who are you people? What have you done with Bunny Fun? |
| HOPPY: | I... am Hoppy Lashes. |
| HLXXXI: | No shit? I'm not blind, bitch. What number? |
| HOPPY: | Eight. I presume you're Thirty-One? |
| HLXXXI: | Astoundingly accurate guess. You're the one they found outside the Techage a few years back? The one who's more than one thousand years old? |
| HOPPY: | Yeah. Apparently. |
| QUETTE & SKUNKY: | What the heck? What's going on? |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | What's this crap about one thousand years old? |
| HOPPY: | You do know what year it is right now, Bunniquette? |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | Of course. |
| QUETTE & SKUNKY: | It's 4365. |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | Despite the fact that the first episode of the Fuzzy Bunny Show was set in 4365, and we've had three Christmases since then. Yep, it is definitely 4365 at this time. |
| HOPPY: | Yes. Well, you see, I was actually born in 3040. |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | No way! |
| HOPPY: | Way. |
| (Suddenly they hear a noise in the corner.) | |
| HLXXXI: | What was that noise? |
| (A blue, one-legged duck leaps out of the corner and bolts out of the room.) | |
| HOPPY & HLXXXI: | Him! Get him! |
| (They take off after him.) | |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | Here we go. |
| (Bunniquette and Skunky follow.) | |
| (Cut to the Tonsilcrash's escape pod. Pirica, Laff, Muncher, Rabbo, Gumman.) | |
| PIRICA: | We nearly there, Muncher? |
| MUNCHER: | Yep. |
| (The Common Room. Fuzzy enters, looks around, and is just about to leave when Oyster enters.) | |
| FUZZY & OYSTER: | Ah! I was just looking for you! |
| OYSTER: | Better hurry. We have to get across to the BF ship. Hoppy could be in trouble. |
| FUZZY: | What? What are you talking about? |
| OYSTER: | I'll explain on the way. |
| FUZZY: | Right... first I have to pick up something from my room. |
| (Cut to the engine room of Bunny Fun's ship. The duck runs in, and looks for somewhere to hide. Before he has a chance, Hoppy, HLXXXI, Bunniquette and Skunky burst in, and each train their blasters on him.) | |
| HOPPY: | You! You bastard! You're the one who shot me! |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | Shot you? |
| HOPPY: | Yes! The one who stole centuries of my life from me! |
| HLXXXI: | Where's Bunny Fun, you Guppie prick? |
| BLUE DUCK: | Safely hidden where you'll never find him, bitch! |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | 'Guppie'? You mean this guy's from Guplinoggle? |
| HLXXXI: | Yes. But he's relocating to the Ubunnia morgue shortly if he doesn't tell me what he's done with Bunny Fun the Thirty-First! |
| (The Guplinogglian produces a gun.) | |
| BLUE DUCK: | Throw down your weapons or I'll kill you all! |
| HLXXXI: | Getting desperate, aren't we? |
| (He shoots at HLXXXI. She uses her own gun to shoot down his bullet - impressive marksbunnyship, you'll agree.) | |
| HLXXXI: | Nice try. But the only person who can outgun me is Bunny Fun. |
| SKUNKY: | Will someone tell us what's going on? |
| BLUE DUCK: | Stick it up your-- |
| HLXXXI: | Just tell me where Bunny Fun is! |
| HOPPY: | And while you're at it, you can damn well tell me why you shot me all those years ago! |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | What's all this stuff about him shooting you, Hop? |
| HOPPY: | I was eighteen. I was just walking along the street, minding my own business, when this mongrel comes up and just shoots me! Here I was, basically unconscious, this guy's just blasted me with a stun rifle, and then he pushes me into a ditch, and when I wake up, I'm outside the UBF Techege, and it's 4356. |
| BLUE DUCK: | Ha! Pushed you into a ditch? |
| BLUE DUCK & HLXXXI: | Not a ditch - a time warp. |
| SKUNKY: | A time warp? Don't be ridiculous. |
| BLUE DUCK: | Believe me or don't, I don't care. |
| (Pirica, Gumman, Muncher, Laff, and Rabbo burst in, survey the scene, and aim their blasters at the Blue Duck.) | |
| LAFF: | Hi, Hop. This blue guy bugging you? |
| (The Blue Duck tries to shoot Hoppy VIII. He never has a chance. Pirica shoots him dead before he can fire.) | |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | Is he--? |
| SKUNKY: | Dead. |
| GUMMAN: | Is it my imagination, or does that chick with the big gun look like Hoppy Lashes? |
| HLXXXI: | I am Hoppy Lashes. The real Hoppy Lashes. |
| HOPPY: | Great work, Ric. You just killed the only person who could have told me why I'm here, a thousand years into my future. |
| PIRICA & HER LOT: | What?! |
| HLXXXI: | Besides that, now we'll never know where he took Bunny Fun. |
| (A voice behind them says:) | |
| VOICE: | The broom closet. But I escaped. |
| (It's Bunny Fun the Thirty-First!) | |
| HLXXXI: | Bunny Fun! |
| BFXXXI: | How's things, Hop? |
| (In a burst of flame, Fuzzy and Oyster appear. Fuzzy is wearing his Captain Tricky costume.) | |
| BFXXXI: | Who the Dickens are these two loonies? |
| FUZZY & OYSTER: | Captain Tricky and Powerbus, the Battling Bunny Brothers! |
| FUZZY: | What's going on here? |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | I wish I knew. |
| HOPPY: | Everyone, meet Hoppy Lashes and Bunny Fun, both number 31. |
| OYSTER: | Ah. I guess I'm too late to stop you meeting, then? |
| BFXXXI: | 'Fraid so, Super-tram. |
| OYSTER: | 'Powerbus'. It's 'Powerbus'. |
| FUZZY: | Um... Am I the only one who doesn't quite understand how it is that there are two Hoppys in front of us? |
| HLXXXI: | I'll try to explain. |
| (Anastasia's office. Anastasia, Jupie, Grovelspit. McKoohinky.) | |
| ANASTASIA: | Nearly everyone has left the ship. They're all over checking out the 'BFXXXI' deal that they almost crashed us into. |
| MCKOOHINKY: | Then I guess now is a good time for me to check on Jetty? |
| JUPIE: | When are you going to cure her? |
| GROVELSPIT: | Yeah, Laff's pretty upset. |
| ANASTASIA: | That's the whole point. We're the villains, remember? |
| (The library. Abbie and Westminster. Howie enters.) | |
| HOWIE: | There you are. Climb into your spacesuits and get over to the Bunny Fun ship. Admiral DeBunny may need your help if they run into trouble. |
| ABBIE: | Bunny Fun ship? |
| WESTMINSTER: | What are you on about, chain-brain? |
| HOWIE: | I'll explain. |
| (The engine room of Bunny Fun's ship.) | |
| FUZZY: | So... you're Hoppy XXXI... and our Hoppy is actually from more than a thousand years ago? |
| HLXXXI: | Yes. That Guplinogglian sent her into the future. |
| PIRICA: | But why? I thought Guplinogglians helped BFDs. |
| HLXXXI: | Obviously that one's some kind of treacherous turncoat who betrayed the Great Zucchini and turned to a life of crime. |
| SKUNKY: | Was he carrying anything that might tell us anything about him? |
| MUNCHER: | No. I searched him, but all he was carrying besides his gun was this piece of paper. It says 'Please return this Rogue Gup to Grizzle, Limbo Queen of Purgatory'. |
| FUZZY & OYSTER: | Oh, great. It's our big sister again. She gets into everything these days! |
| HOPPY: | So... it was at Grizzle's request that he sent me into the future. |
| FUZZY: | But Grizzle wasn't even born back when you were pushed into the time warp! |
| HLXXXI: | Obviously she sent the Gup back in time to fetch you. |
| HOPPY: | But why? |
| OYSTER: | Better not to ask. Grizzle's agenda is a mystery. |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | And why did the Gup tie Bunny Fun up in the broom closet? |
| BFXXXI: | I can't believe he thought that those ropes would hold me! |
| SKUNKY: | This is too weird. |
| (Abbie and Westminster enter, followed by the Bunster Brigade: Bunny Fun and Hoppy Lashes the First, Bunster, Freeboe, Creddy and Unyushi.) | |
| ABBIE: | Hi, guys. |
| HLXXXI: | Oh, shit! Not more BFDs! |
| WESTMINSTER: | We found them tied up in the laundry. |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | Wonderful. Look at that. Now we've got two Bunny Funs, and three Hoppys! |
| HLXXXI: | Yeah... but those two are the originals! |
| BUNNY FUN 1: | What's going on? Where are we? |
| BFXXXI: | Allow us to introduce ourselves. |
| (Grizzle's Limbo Chamber. Grizzle and Ch'zzi.) | |
| GRIZZLE: | Everything is progressing perfectly! |
| (Back to the engine room.) | |
| BUNNY FUN 1: | Wow... you're my descendants? |
| HLXXXI: | Yep. And the year is 4365. |
| BUNSTER: | Well, now that you've introduced yourselves, let us return the favour. We...are the Bunster Brigade. I am Bunster Wickehull, the Brigade's fearless leader. |
| BUNNY FUN 1: | Of course, you know me and Hop. |
| HOPPY LASHES 1: | This is so weird. |
| FREEBOE: | My name's Freeboe Gilmore. Pleased to meet you. |
| CREDDY: | I'm Incredible Frougar. But you can call me Creddy. |
| UNYUSHI: | My name is Unyushi. |
| SKUNKY: | Another Gup. |
| BFXXXI: | Yes. But this is the famous and loyal Unyushi. He's definitely on our side. |
| HOPPY: | So how did you 'Brigade' guys get here? |
| HOPPY LASHES 1: | Who knows? This mean-looking Gup comes up and pushes us into a time warp, or something, and then he ties us up in the laundry of a spaceship! |
| HOPPY: | When I find out why Grizzle has done this to us all, I'll-- |
| PIRICA: | What the hell do we do with all these BFDs? |
| BFXXXI: | I'm going to power up the ship again. |
| (An intercom on the wall lights up, and we hear Grizzle's voice.) | |
| GRIZZLE'S VOICE: | That won't be necessary. You don't need rocket thrusters to get to where you people are going. |
| BFXXXI: | Who the--? |
| OYSTER, FUZZY & HOPPY: | Grizzle! |
| GRIZZLE'S VOICE: | Don't bother trying to escape. You're trapped aboard the ship. Now, I'm going to send my baby sister in to get Fuzzy. If anyone tries to stop her, she'll kill you all. |
| (Ch'zzi appears, teleported in by Grizzle.) | |
| CH'ZZI: | You're coming with me, 'Captain Tricky'. |
| OYSTER: | Over my demonic body, Sis! I don't know why you want Fuzzy so bad, but you're out of luck! |
| (Ch'zzi grabs Fuzzy and throws him over her shoulder.) | |
| MUNCHER: | Put him down, or I'll shoot! |
| CH'ZZI: | Oh, piss off. Grizz! You can pull us out now! |
| MUNCHER: | King Fuzzy! |
| (Muncher shoots Ch'zzi. Several times. In the chest. She barely seems to notice.) | |
| PIRICA: | Stop her! Get Fuzzy from her! |
| (Muncher, Rabbo, Westminster, and Bunny Fun XXXI rush at Ch'zzi and try to take Fuzzy from her. She beats them all off as if they were no more than insects.) | |
| BFXXXI: | Ouch! She's tough! |
| OYSTER: | Well, she is a vampire. They're notorious for that sort of thing. |
| HOPPY: | Listen, you blood-sucking slut, you're really starting to piss me off! |
| (Hoppy lunges forward and slams the barrel of her gun into Ch'zzi's chest, piercing her heart.) | |
| HOPPY: | It's not quite a wooden stake, but it'll do the job. |
| CH'ZZI: | Bitch! This makes twice now! |
| (Hoppy steps forward and grabs Fuzzy.) | |
| HOPPY: | And it'll be three times if you cross me again. |
| RABBO: | Go, Hopper! |
| HOPPY LASHES 1: | Am I going to turn out like her? |
| BUNNY FUN 1: | I hope not! She's very...forceful, isn't she? |
| BUNSTER: | She only did what she had to save her King. |
| HOPPY: | That's right. |
| GRIZZLE'S VOICE: | You've failed again, Ch'zzi. Don't be surprised if I punish you. |
| CH'ZZI: | Bummer! |
| (Ch'zzi vanishes, teleported home by Grizzle. The light on the intercom goes out.) | |
| OYSTER: | What the fuck are those two up to? |
| FUZZY: | Why do they want me so bad? |
| RABBO: | Sibling rivalry. |
| PIRICA: | This is all very nice, but...I repeat: what do we do with all these BFDs? |
| BFXXXI: | You needn't worry about Hoppy 31 and I. We can look alter ourselves. But the Bunster Brigade might need help getting home to the Twentieth Century. |
| UNYUSHI: | What about this one? |
| (He points to Westminster.) | |
| BFXXXI & HOPPY: | He's no BFD! |
| UNYUSHI: | What do you mean? Of course he is! |
| ABBIE: | Westminster? |
| WESTMINSTER: | Um... well, honey, there... is actually something that I never told you about myself. |
| ABBIE: | What's that? |
| WESTMINSTER: | Well... the truth is, whenever I drink whisky... |
| (Unyushi hands Westminster a glass of whisky. West drinks it And turns into a Bunny Fun! Even bigger and tougher than BFXXXI!) | |
| BUNNY FUN THE NTH: | I transform into Bunny Fun the Nth! The Ultimate Warrior! |
| BFXXXI: | Holy shit! |
| UNYUSHI: | Nth! The most powerful warrior in the universe! |
| ABBIE: | Westminster! Why didn't you tell me about this? |
| BUNNY FUN THE NTH: | I thought you might want a divorce if you knew I was descended from the same person as Rabbo. |
| ABBIE: | Now I know why you've always preferred vodka. |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | Well, at least we've evened things up. Three Bunny Funs, three Hops. I feel faint. |
| FUZZY: | We've imposed enough. Let's take the Bunster Brigade back to the Tonsilcrash and let the two Thirty-firsts get on with their lives. |
| HLXXXI: | But we still don't know why that Limbo Queen person has been doing all this stuff. |
| OYSTER: | I don't think we ever will. |
| (All of a sudden our heroes are surrounded by vampires, including Carthage, Scandun, Rone and Farbauti.) | |
| CARTHAGE: | Greetings, mortals. |
| OYSTER: | General Carthage! What are you doing here? |
| RONE: | We have orders from Lord Necopinus to make sure that Grizzle's plans don't succeed. |
| FUZZY: | Good! |
| SCANDUN: | I'm afraid that means killing the Bunster Brigade. |
| HOPPY: | What? You're mad! Necopinus-- |
| FARBAUTI: | Don't resist. We've no choice. The Brigade must die, or Grizzle will get what she wants. That cannot be allowed. |
| OYSTER: | You can't just kill them! |
| CARTHAGE: | We have to! |
| OYSTER: | Well, we have to defend them. Sorry, but you'll have to get past us before you lay a hand on the Bunster Brigade. |
| CARTHAGE: | We outnumber you two to one. You can't defeat us. We're the Dark Forces of the vampire King! |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | He's right, Oyst. We can't beat up this many vampires! |
| (Nemahelminthe appears!) | |
| NEMAHELMINTHE: | You can if I help you! |
| OYSTER: | Nemahelminthe! |
| BFXXXI: | Great Too many BFDS, a heap of vampires, and a giant sea serpent. Just what my ship needs. |
| (The fight begins. The good guys beating up on vampires. The only ones who have much success, however, are Oyster, Nemahelminthe and Nth. Nevertheless, everyone joins in the brawL As they fight, the good guys sing 'The Beating Up Vampires Song'.) | |
| OYSTER: | 'Nasty blood-suckers, |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | Brainless corpse-fuckers |
| HOPPY: | We're going to beat you up! |
| FUZZY: | Although you're pretty tough |
| BUNNY FUN THE NTH: | We can beat you up enough |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | And you'll never bother us again! |
| OYSTER & ABBIE: | No bunch of vamps |
| BUNNY FUN THE NTH: | Is gonna beat us, gramps!' |
| CARTHAGE: | Don't call me 'gramps'! |
| HOPPY: | 'We'll stake all your hearts |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | And we'll rip you apart |
| OYSTER: | Yes, prepare to be killed 'til you're dead! |
| HOPPY: | Get some garlic and such |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | And some crosses to touch |
| FUZZY: | And then cut off their miserable heads!' |
| CARTHAGE: | Enough singing! Fight! |
| OYSTER: | We are! |
| CARTHAGE: | I don't want to hurt you, Powerbus, but you leave me no alternative. |
| (One of the vampires has gotten hold of Abbie.) | |
| ABBIE: | Westminster! Help! |
| BUNNY FUN THE NTH: | Abbie? Abbie! |
| (He grabs the vampire that has Abbie and literally tears it in half.) | |
| ABBIE: | Gross! |
| BUNNY FUN THE NTH: | This fight ends now! |
| (He grabs Nemahelminthe's tail and swings the serpent like a baseball bat, knocking down all the vampires.) | |
| BUNNY FUN THE NTH: | Get out of here, Carthage! And take your stupid Dark Forces with you! |
| CARTHAGE: | This isn't over, Powerbus! |
| (The defeated vampires vanish.) | |
| OYSTER: | Thank heavens they're gone. |
| BUNNY FUN THE NTH: | Ahem. Sorry about that, mister Sea Serpent. |
| NEMAHELMINTHE: | No problem. Farewell. |
| (Nemahelminthe disappears.) | |
| BFXXXI: | This is getting ridiculous. You guys have weird friends. |
| OYSTER: | Nemahelminthe? He's okay. As for Carthage, Scandun, Rone and Farbauti... they're our friends too. They didn't want to fight us. But they can't disobey Necopinus. |
| MUNCHER: | But why should Necopinus want the Bunster Brigade dead? |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | You heard. It's because they play an important role in Grizzle's plot. |
| BUNNY FUN 1: | Whose plot? |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | Never mind. |
| PIRICA: | Come on. Let's get back to the Crash We'll put the Brigade up for a while and then see If we can get them home. |
| BFXXXI: | Good luck. And I hope you figure out what this Purgatory Queen chick is up to. |
| HLXXXI: | We'd love to stay and chat, but we're this generation's Hoppy Lashes and Bunny Fun, and have certain responsibilities. So you'll have to sort out the rest of this mess yourselves. We've gotta go. |
| PIRICA: | Thanks for everything. |
| HOPPY: | Bye, me. |
| HLXXXI: | Don't flatter yourself, Eight. You and I are not so alike as you might like to believe. |
| HOPPY: | Uh... right. |
| LAFF: | Let's go, Hopper. |
| (Cut to the Common Room. The entire Tonsilcrash crew is there, plus the Bunster Brigade. Westminster is back to normal.) | |
| PIRICA: | In light of recent revelations, I think we need to have a rather important discussion about Hoppy and the Bunster Brigade. Mal will chair the meeting. |
| MAL: | Anyone who wishes to speak will please raise their hand. |
| (Pirica raises her hand.) | |
| MAL: | Admiral DeBunny? |
| PIRICA: | Just to recap... we discovered today that the Hoppy we have lived with for so long is not actually who she claimed to be. True, she is a Hoppy Lashes, but she is not the real Hoppy Lashes. Our Hoppy is several centuries out of date. The universe is currently graced by the presence of Hoppy Lashes XXXI, the real Hoppy Lashes. Our Hoppy, Eight, was temporally displaced by the unidentified Rogue Gup and does not belong in this time period. |
| LAFF: | Now hold on! That doesn't-- |
| (Mal snaps angrily:) | |
| MAL: | Don't interject! |
| (Laff grumbles and raises his hand.) | |
| MAL: | Commander? |
| LAFF: | Just because she's not from our era doesn't mean that Hoppy is not the 'real' Hoppy Lashes! She's just as real as Thirty-one. We just happen to have two Hoppys. |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | Well, actually, counting the Bunster Brigade's Hoppy, there's-- |
| (Mal yells at her:) | |
| MAL: | DON'T INTERJECT!! |
| (Bunniquette raises her hand.) | |
| MAL: | Quette? |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | I was just pointing out that we've got three Hoppys now, counting the original. |
| (Pirica raises her hand again.) | |
| MAL: | Yes? |
| PIRICA: | May I finish? |
| MAL: | Certainly. |
| PIRICA: | I merely wish to make the point that, regardless of her contribution to this era, Eight does not belong here. That - let me finish, Laff - that is a simple fact. All this time, she never told any of us that she was from the past. The universe is strictly ordered, nowhere more so than in the area of BFD chronology. Our universe has, ever since 1965, permitted the existence of one active Bunny Fun and Hoppy Lashes. As long as Eight continues to exist in our time, the very fabric of reality is in danger. |
| LAFF: | Listen to yourself, you pompous little-- |
| (Mal leaps at Laff and starts beating the Dropoff over the head with a baseball bat, and frantically screaming:) | |
| MAL: | Don't interject! Don't interject! |
| (Bunniquette shoots him with a stun rifle. He collapses, unconscious.) | |
| LAFF: | The Bunny Fun Legacy has been switched off by Aracus and that Mighty Vegetable guy from Guplinoggle. The fact that both Hoppy VIII - if you call her 'Eight' one more time, I'll strangle you to death - and Hoppy XXXI are around right now poses absolutely no threat to the 'fabric of reality'. And even if it did, what would you suggest we do? Kill her? |
| PIRICA: | Don't be ridiculous! Just send her back to her own time. |
| LAFF: | Her - her own time! This is her time! She's spent the last eleven years making herself at home in this foreign era after being cruelly and inexplicably removed from her home and her loved ones by that mad Rogue Gup at the instigation of Fuzzy's bitch of a sister! How dare you insinuate that Hoppy has no right to be here in this year! |
| FUZZY: | Guys, yelling at each other won't-- |
| HOPPY: | Pirica's right. It's true. This isn't my time. You'd all be better off if I did go back to 3058, and left Hoppy Thirty-one to take care of things. |
| (Hoppy walks out sadly. Bunniquette punches Pirica in the jaw and says:) | |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | Nice work, you dopey, insensitive cow. No wonder Fuzzy didn't want to marry you. |
| (before following Hoppy. Laff goes too.) | |
| PIRICA: | Typical. Try to do what's best for the entire universe, and what do I get? Punched, is what. |
| SASHA: | Forgive me for saying so, Pirica, but I don't think you handled that very well. |
| HOPPY LASHES 1: | Is she going to do that to me? |
| UNYUSHI: | She'd better not. |
| (Hoppy and Laff's room. Hoppy is lying on the bed crying. Bunniquette and Laff enter.) | |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | Don't let her upset you, Hop. You know she's wrong. |
| HOPPY: | Oh, Quette, but can't you see she's not? I belong in the thirty-first century, not here in the forty-fourth. |
| LAFF: | Rubbish! This is your home! You've worked hard for what you've got and Pirica has no right to take it away from you. |
| HOPPY: | I worked hard for what I had when I was a promising young eighteen-year-old living in my own time, and that Gup took it away from me. |
| LAFF: | Well that's not going to happen again. You belong here, with us. With... me. |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | Yeah. No one can dispute your right to live in this era. You were an important part of this century's BF Legacy. That proves that you are just as integral to this time period as your own. |
| HOPPY: | That doesn't change the fact that, name or no name, I'm not the real 'real' Hoppy Lashes for this era. Thirty-one rightfully bears the name. I have no right to call myself Hoppy Lashes. From now on, you must address me simply as Eight. |
| LAFF & QUETTE: | No way! |
| HOPPY: | You must. |
| (The Common Room.) | |
| GUMMAN: | I'd also like to raise the matter of young Jetty. Her condition hasn't improved. Draino and I have done everything we can, but she just won't come out of that coma. If anyone has any...... |
| MCKOOHINKY: | Um... |
| SKUNKY: | Yes? |
| MCKOOHINKY: | Well... I'm, um, something of an expert when it comes to medicines... and if you'd like, I could try to mix up something to give her a hand waking up. |
| SKUNKY: | Why didn't you tell us this earlier? |
| MCKOOHINKY: | I... I work for Duchess Sarossy-Mammalworth, after all. I didn't think you'd trust me. But you seem to be rather desperate now. |
| EARLESS: | Not desperate enough to turn to an Anastasian! |
| SKUNKY: | Quiet, Mister Cleveland. Come with me, Mister McKoohinky. |
| MCKOOHINKY: | Please, call me Mac. |
| (Hoppy's room. Bunniquette, Hoppy and Mal are sitting on the bed. Laff is hugging the still crying Hoppy. There's a knock at the door.) | |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | Come in. |
| (Skunky and McKoohinky enter.) | |
| SKUNKY: | Laff? I'm sorry to interrupt, but... it's about your sister. |
| LAFF: | What? |
| SKUNKY: | With your consent, I'd like to entrust her care to Mister McKoohinky. He believes he can help her. |
| LAFF: | Whatever. Now's not a good time. |
| SKUNKY: | I appreciate that. |
| (Cut to Jetty's hospital room. Skunky and McKoohinky are examining her.) | |
| MCKOOHINKY: | Looks pretty simple. |
| SKUNKY: | Simple? |
| MCKOOHINKY: | Yes. Her current catatonic state appears to have been induced by exposure to some kind of DNA transfusion. Restoring her health should be a piece of cake for a talented biochemist like myself. Pardon my modesty. I'll just nip back to my office. Shouldn't take more than a few minutes to mix up a little something to wake her up. |
| SKUNKY: | Really? What's a 'talented biochemist' doing working as a chauffer? |
| MCKOOHINKY: | Same thing any person does working as a chauffer. Driving cars. |
| (McKoohinky exits.) | |
| SKUNKY: | Now what did he mean by that? |
| (Abbie and Westminster's room. They're both in there.) | |
| ABBIE: | I can't believe you never told me that drinking whisky transforms you into the Ultimate Warrior and enables you to face any combat situation with a one hundred percent chance of victory. |
| WESTMINSTER: | I... never understood it, you see. I didn't know why it happened. Didn't know about all the BFD stuff. I never deliberately kept it from you, Abbie. |
| ABBIE: | I...know. |
| (Hoppy and Laff's room. Hoppy is asleep. Bunniquette and Laff are talking.) | |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | So what do we do, Laff? We can't let Pirica send Hoppy back to the thirty-first century! |
| LAFF: | It's not Pirica that worries me. I'm more concerned about the fact that Hoppy agrees with her. |
| (Door knock.) | |
| LAFF: | Yeah? |
| (Skunky enters.) | |
| SKUNKY: | Me again. Just wanted to tell you, Laff, Jetty's woken up. McKoohinky identified her problem immediately and was able to almost instantly restore her health. |
| LAFF: | That's great! |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | You better go see her. |
| LAFF: | But-- |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | I'll keep an eye on Hoppy. Go. |
| LAFF: | Okay. |
| (The Bridge. Pirica, Oyster, Fuzzy, Abbie, Howie.) | |
| FUZZY: | I'm still a little concerned about Grizzle and Ch'zzi. And imagine Necopinus thinking that he could foil her plans by murdering the Bunster Brigade! |
| OYSTER: | Yeah... it is a bit-- |
| (A communications console lights up and Grizzle's hooded face appears on the viewscreen.) | |
| PIRICA: | Whuh-oh! It's her! |
| GRIZZLE: | Greetings, brothers. |
| OYSTER: | You are really stating to piss me off! What the heck did you think you were doing, sending that Gup into the past to kidnap Hoppy Lashes VIII and the Bunster Brigade? |
| GRIZZLE: | That is no concern of yours, demon. I have contacted you to tell you that I am sending Ch'zzi and two of her vampire minions to your ship to retrieve the Bunster Brigade. |
| FUZZY: | What? Jeepers, how many vampires do we have to fight today? First Ch'zzi, then the Dark Forces of Lord Necopinus... |
| GRIZZLE: | The fool. He should have known that you wouldn't let him kill the Brigade. However, you will be unable to defeat the vampires in my employ. They are rather stronger than Necopinus and his puny revenants. |
| OYSTER: | We can take 'em! |
| GRIZZLE: | I doubt it. |
| (Ch'zzi and two other vampire bunnies materialise. The two bunnies with her appear to be identical twins, handsome yet evil-looking bunnies with long, wild red hair and long, sharp swords.) | |
| CH'ZZI: | We meet yet again, oh brothers of mine! Get them, boys! |
| VAMPIRE 1: | I'm going to make you pay, Fuzzy! You ordered my death and I will have revenge! |
| FUZZY: | What are you talking about? I've never seen you before in my life! |
| VAMPIRE 2: | Don't recognise us, eh? Well then, "King Fuzzy"... |
| VAMPIRE 1: | Prepare to be murdered by... |
| VAMPIRES 1 & 2: | The Vampire Stab-Stab Brothers! |
| FUZZY & RIC: | The Stab-Stabs?! |
| POMMEL: | Yes! Now die! |
| (Pommel leaps at Fuzzy, but is intercepted by Oyster.) | |
| OYSTER: | I don't know who you leeches are, or why you're picking on Fuzzy, but I'm here to tell you that whatever evil you and your boss have got planned ... it ain't gonna happen! |
| CH'ZZI: | Give up, Oyster! The Stab-Stabs are not just ordinary vampires! |
| PIRICA: | No. They're brainless, incompetent ninja vampires. |
| PUMMEL: | We are not incompetent! |
| OYSTER: | I don't care if they're Marius and Armand! If they don't bugger off, I'll destroy them! |
| (Pummel attacks Pirica.) | |
| PUMMEL: | Taste hot vampire bunny claws, you UBF cow! |
| (We hear Oyster think:) | |
| OYSTER THOUGHT VO: | Bugger! I can't save Fuzzy and Pirica at the same time! |
| (and then he yells:) | |
| OYSTER: | Help! To the Bridge! Vampire attack! Help! Quick! |
| CH'ZZI: | Face it, bro. You're doomed. |
| (Pummel sinks his teeth into Pirica's throat and begins to drink her blood.) | |
| (Hoppy and Laff's room. Hoppy and Bunniquette. Abbie enters, closing the door behind her.) | |
| ABBIE: | How're you feeling, Hop? |
| HOPPY: | Can't complain. I-- |
| (They hear Oyster yelling something indistinct.) | |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | What the--? |
| HOPPY: | It's just Oyster having one of his 'weirdness seizures'. Ignore it. Hit the soundproof button, Quette. |
| (Bunniquette presses a button near the light switch and Oyster's voice cuts off abruptly.) | |
| HOPPY: | There. Now we won't be bothered by his mad screechings. |
| (The Bridge. Oyster is fighting Pommel, Fuzzy is trying desperately to pry the feasting Pummel away from Pirica's throat, and Ch'zzi is just watching, with a smile on her face.) | |
| OYSTER (YELLING): | I repeat! All crew members report to the Bridge with Very Big Guns immediately! Help! Help! |
| FUZZY: | Get away from Pirica, you ... you mean ol' devil! |
| POMMEL: | Ha! Resistance is useless! |
| (Muncher, Rabbo and Westminster rush in.) | |
| WESTMINSTER: | I love this place. |
| MUNCHER: | More vampires! How does Grizzle get vampires to work for her? Vampires are only meant to serve Necopinus! |
| CH'ZZI: | My boys and I, we're more than just vampires. We're ... Neck Chompers - the Vampire Club of Purgatory! And we are unbeatable! |
| FUZZY: | West! Chris! Help me get Pummel off Ric! |
| WEST, RABBO & MUNCHER: | Pummel?! |
| WESTMINSTER: | Pummel Stab-Stab? Holy -- |
| (Hoppy's room.) | |
| ABBIE: | Pirica really was too hard on you, Hop. |
| HOPPY: | I disagree. And ... call me...Eight. Turn off the soundproofing, Quette. Let's see if Oyster's shut up. |
| (Bunniquette does, just in time to hear Grizzle over the PA system.) | |
| GRIZZLE'S VOICE: | Come out, come out, wherever you are! |
| HOPPY: | That's Grizzle! |
| ABBIE: | Oh, no! |
| GRIZZLE'S VOICE: | Hoppy Lashes the Eighth! Abbigail Cleveland-BiggIes! Bunniquette O'Bunbun! You're the only ones missing! |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | What is she-- |
| GRIZZLE'S VOICE: | lf you ever want to see your pals alive again, the three of you had better report to the Bridge immediately! |
| HOPPY: | Ooh, that nasty old--! |
| ABBIE: | It sounds like she's got the others! We have to hurry! |
| HOPPY: | Yes ... but we can't just rush in. We have to be prepared. Ch'zzi is sure to be there... and luckily I just happen to have a Wooden Stake Gun hidden under my bed. Let's go teach that vampire chowderhead a lesson she won't soon forget! |
| (The Bridge. The door is closed The entire crew minus Jetty, Hoppy, Abbie and Bunniquette is there, all lying unconscious at the feet of the Stab-Stabs, except for Fuzzy, who, although beaten nearly to death, is still struggling against Pummel.) | |
| FUZZY: | I'll... make you pay for hurting my friends! I'll-- |
| (Pummel snaps his fingers, and Fuzzy drops, unconscious. There's a knock at the door.) | |
| CH'ZZI: | Who is it? |
| (Hoppy kicks open the door and bursts in, followed by Quette and Abbie. They're all heavily armed.) | |
| HOPPY: | Caring Meter Reader! |
| CH'ZZI: | Aargh! An obscure Care Bears reference! |
| ABBIE: | All Care Bears references are obscure. |
| HOPPY: | Well, if it isn't our old friend Cheesy Blunderbunny! |
| CH'ZZI: | Grr! The name's Ch'zzi Bloodbunny, thanks! Prepare to join your colleagues in the land of the Grievously Injured! Stab-Stabs! Destroy them! |
| ABBIE: | Those two are the Stab-Stabs?! But I thought Fuzzy and Muncher-- |
| POMMEL: | Fuzzy and Muncher are lying dead at my feet, is what! |
| HOPPY: | I hate vampires! You low-down, no-good, blood-sucking... nasty old leeches! |
| (She fires off three wooden stakes at the hearts of Pommel, Pummel, and Ch'zzi. The stakes lodge themselves in the vampires' chests. But not very far in...) | |
| HOPPY: | Take that, you undead osmosis endorsers! |
| CH'ZZI: | Not this time, carrot-breath. You heard me, boys. Get 'em. |
| HOPPY: | Hang on ... I just shot wooden stakes into your ..... shouldn't you be collapsing in anguish and pain or something? |
| CH'ZZI: | Shot wooden stakes into our hearts? No, my dear, not this time. You shot wooden stakes into our body armour. Suck mouldy cabbage, you goody-two-paws! |
| HOPPY: | Oh, shit. We've had it now. |
| CH'ZZI: | Yes! Your entire band of happy baby puppy face morons has been defeated! Pirica DeBunny has been drained of blood and is near death! Fuzzy and the Bunster Brigade are ours! Queen Grizzle will triumph at last! |
| ABBIE: | Triumph at what? Why does she want Fuzzy? |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | Why did she bring the Bunster Brigade to this time period? |
| HOPPY: | Why did she bring me to this time period? |
| CH'ZZI: | None of your business. Pommel! Pummel! End their miserable lives! |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | Now would be a good time for Necopinus or King Often or Pete the Faded One to send invincible warriors to rescue us. |
| POMMEL: | That just ain't gonna happen, saps! |
| HOPPY: | Good bye, Bunniquette. It was nice knowing you. You too, Ab. |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | I repent, God! I repent! You hear me? |
| ABBIE: | We can't just give up! We can still beat the bad guys! |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | Wake up and smell the dried blood and rotting flesh! We're done for! Everyone else has been KOed, and we're next. Even big tough demon-boy pyster couldn't beat up these three! |
| ABBIE: | If only we had some whisky to give to Westminster... |
| HOPPY: | Yeah, having an unconscious Bunny Fun the Nth would really be handy. |
| ABBIE: | Fine. So you're right. We're doomed. Our friends and relatives are all unconscious or dead, and we're the next to go. We're all going to die! We're all going to die! ... See? I can do pessimism just as good as the next actress. |
| HOPPY: | Yeah, very good. |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | Hey - Maybe Bunny Fun and Hoppy Lashes Thirty-one will pop up and save us...? |
| CH'ZZI: | Nope. They're long gone. |
| (A heroic voice from the doorway says:) | |
| HEROIC VOICE: | Unhand those bunnies! |
| (Everyone conscious (Hoppy, Quette, Ab, Ch'zzi, Pommel, Pummel) turns to see who it is. It appears to be a dinosaur.) | |
| CH'ZZI & THE STAB STABS: | Who the fuck is that? |
| ABBIE: | Yay! We're saved! It's Gumpity! |
| CH'ZZI: | Who? |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | That dynamic and dashing dinosaur daredevil from the Alternate Reality spin-off series! Making his long awaited first appearance in mainstream FBS continuity! Hooray, Gumpster! |
| CH'ZZI: | He's a stuffed toy dinosaur! |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | It's not his fault. |
| (Fuzzy opens one eye.) | |
| FUZZY: | Ah! Gumpity's arrived. Okay, gang. |
| (The entire crew regains consciousness and stands up.) | |
| CH'ZZI: | Oh, dear. |
| SASHA: | Gumpity's come to rescue us! |
| BAIK-BAIK: | Yay! |
| WESTMINSTER: | About bloody time. |
| CH'ZZI: | Fools! We've still won! We'll beat you up again, if we have to! But we will take Fuzzy and the Bunster Brigade back to Purgatory! I mustn't disappoint Grizzle again! |
| GUMMAN: | Oh, give up! We've got you outnumbered! |
| POMMEL: | You had us out numbered before, but we still managed to trounce you all! |
| GUMMAN: | Oh, yeah. Nothing's changed. They'll just bash us up again. Why did we bother waking up? |
| FUZZY: | Because Gumpity's here now! He'll save us! |
| CH'ZZI: | Like how? We're the unbeatable Neck-Chompers, the Vampire Club of Purgatory, remember? We can't lose! |
| GUMPITY: | Ignorant villains! Obviously you don't know the true reason why dinosaurs became extinct! |
| POMMEL: | Well, obviously they didn't, or you'd-- |
| GUMPITY: | Don't change the subject! The reason why dinosaurs became extinct was... because they have an innate ability to project AV rays from their fingertips! |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | AV? |
| GUMPITY: | Anti-Vampire! |
| CH'ZZI: | This demented old fossil is mad! He's talking rubbish! Take them, my sons! Take them all! |
| PUMMEL: | We is gonna kill you naughty bunnies! |
| GUMPITY: | You're not paying attention, are you? AV rays, I said! Back, you blood-sucking fiends! Back! Get thee to a barnyard! |
| (Pommel and Pummel leap at Gumpity savagely. Gumpity strikes a dramatic pose and yells, in a loud, Manga-character-announcing-the-name-of-their-next-attack voice:) | |
| GUMPITY: | Gumpity Power Blast! |
| (Beams of bright blue light erupt from his fingers, zapping the Stab-Stabs, who fall to the floor, groaning.) | |
| POMMEL: | Ouch! I actually felt that! |
| PUMMEL: | Get... that... slimy... Barney... rip-off... |
| (Pummel tries to spring to his feet and attack Gumpity, but he's not quite up to it.) | |
| CH'ZZI: | Pommel! Pummel! Get up! Massacre these pathetic insect bunnies! |
| POMMEL: | Dinosaur ... popped us one... too weak... can't fight... |
| CH'ZZI: | Then I'll kill them myself! |
| GUMPITY: | No, you won't... - Gumpity Villain Crusher! |
| (Ch'zzi leaps into the air, intending to dive on and beat up Gumpity. Gumpity, however, also leaps into the air. The two of them collide, and when they land, Gumpity is smiling and Ch'zzi looks rather unhealthy.) | |
| CH'ZZI: | Curse you, dinosaur! Curse you and your accursed AV powers! Curse, curse, curse! Cursecurse! |
| FUZZY: | Taste the bitter mayonnaise of defeat, sister dear! We win, we win! Ner, ner! |
| CH'ZZI: | Bugger. Grizz will not be impressed. |
| BUNSTER: | Good. I haven't met this Grizzle dame, but she sounds like a bit of a troublemaker. |
| BUNNY FUN 1: | Yeah. You tell her that we're not going to be her friends now. |
| WESTMINSTER: | Thanks to the Bunster Brigade for that horrifying threat. |
| FUZZY: | Someone do something with these three vampires. They -- |
| SKUNKY: | Quickly! Pirica's nearly bled to death! We have to get her to the Tonslicrash Hospital. |
| GUMMAN: | Let's go. |
| LAFF: | I'm coming too. I want to check on Jet. |
| (Gumman and Laff pick up Pirica, and exit, followed by Skunky.) | |
| FUZZY: | Thanks for showing up just in the nick of time and beating the tar out of the bad guys, Gumpity. |
| GUMPITY: | Any time, Fuzzy. |
| ANASTASIA: | Who is this punctual prehistoric protagonist? |
| SASHA: | Didn't you hear? He's from the Alternate Reality series. You've never met him. |
| ANASTASIA: | Pretty impressive AV powers, chum. |
| GUMPITY: | AV powers? No, that was only an act to scare the bad guys. It was actually just clever special effects and a good script. I don't really have AV powers. |
| ANASTASIA: | Oh. |
| POMMEL: | Now he tells us. |
| FUZZY: | That's enough of this. Let's cut to the next scene. |
| (The Common Room. Fuzzy, Sasha, Baik-baik, Goatee, Gumpity, Muncher, Skunky, Laff, Hoppy, Bunniquette, Rabbo, Mal, Earless, Abbie, Westminster, Gumman, Howie, Tessa, Lennie, Ralph, Anastasia, McKoohiniy, Jupie, Grovelspit, Oyster, Bunny Fun 1, Hoppy Lashes 1, Bunster, Creddy, Freeboe, Unyushi.) | |
| CREDDY: | What an exciting day we've had. |
| FREEBOE: | Kidnapped through time by a rogue Gup, attacked by Purg-vampires and vampires and Purg-vampires again... |
| HOPPY LASHES 1: | And we still don't know why that Grizzle chick set all this up. |
| OYSTER: | We're getting used to not having the faintest clue about Grizzle's motives. |
| BUNNY FUN 1: | So, do you guys reckon you can get us home to the Twentieth Century? |
| OYSTER: | Piece of cake. The Stair'll get you there no probs. |
| GUMMAN: | Pirica's recovering nicely after her blood transfusion. |
| LAFF: | Jetty's fine too. She just needs a day or two of rest. Thanks for curing her, Mac. |
| (Anastasia smiles.) | |
| MCKOOHINKY: | Don't mention it. |
| RABBO: | Ch'zzi, Pummel and Pommel are safely locked away inside Grondoglicon's Maximum Security Vampire and Werepenguin Wing. |
| FUZZY: | I guess the movie's going to have a happy ending, then. |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | Maybe not. Hoppy? |
| HOPPY: | I've decided that it's for the best if I too return to my own time. |
| LAFF: | Oh, no! |
| SASHA: | You can't mean it! |
| HOPPY: | Pirica was right. I don't belong here. |
| FUZZY: | You do you do you do you do you do! We're your family! You can't go back to the thirty-first century! |
| UNYUSHI: | Fuzzy Bunny is right, Eight. You have become a part of this era and you should stay here. |
| HOPPY: | Don't try to talk me out of it. |
| FUZZY: | What would it take to persuade you to stay? |
| HOPPY: | Um... longer hair. And in a better colour. |
| FUZZY: | Fine! I'll get on to the Supervising Animator and the Colour Key guy straight away. You will have longer hair! Any colour you want! |
| HOPPY: | I can't decide between dark blue and black. |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | Blue would suit you. |
| WESTMINSTER: | What kind of freak has blue hair? |
| FUZZY: | A hell of a lot of vastly popular and really cool Manga characters! |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | You never complained about the fact that I have shockingly bright fire-engine red hair. |
| WESTMINSTER: | Yeah, well I know what kind of freak you are. |
| SASHA: | Anna's is purple, and no one has ever made fun of that. |
| WESTMINSTER: | Anna's freak is purple? |
| SASHA: | No! Her hair, silly! |
| HOPPY: | All the same, I think I'd prefer black. |
| ANASTASIA: | Since joining the cast of this show, I've heard a lot of stupid conversations, but this one takes the cake. |
| RABBO: | Where to? |
| FUZZY: | Shut up, Rabbo. |
| EARLESS: | You know, I dyed my hair orange once. |
| GUMPITY: | Did you, sir? |
| EARLESS: | Of course. How do you think I lost my ears? |
| GUMPITY: | I had simply assumed that they became extinct millions of years ago after a comet collided with your head. |
| EARLESS: | Bloody dinosaur fool. |
| FUZZY: | So Hoppy, will you stay? |
| HOPPY: | I suppose so. If Ric lets me. |
| FUZZY: | O' course she will! You and Ric are good friends. We'll sort her out. |
| RABBO: | Oops! Look at the time! I'd better go. Hey, Baron Von Gumperstein! Wanna come feed Godzilla with me? |
| GUMPITY: | Godzilla? |
| RABBO: | My pet walrus. |
| GUMPITY: | Ah. The alien rhinoceros. |
| ANASTASIA: | Pardon? |
| GUMPITY: | You wouldn't understand, Anna. |
| ANASTASIA: | I'm well aware of that. But... alien rhinoceros? |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | I'll explain later. 'That Yompy! He is such a man!' |
| FUZZY: | 'Scowl, scowl, bollocks!' Boy! Can we write a third-rate fantasy epic, or what? |
| WESTMINSTER: | Yep. You're a brilliant scriptwriter, Fuzzboy. You've got more talent in your little finger than you have in your big finger. |
| ABBIE: | I really think you watch too much TV, West. |
| FUZZY: | Well, we've just about sorted everything out. Let's have a bit of gratuitous -- |
| EARLESS: | Sex? |
| FUZZY: | No! |
| GUMMAN: | Violence? |
| FUZZY: | No! I was going to say... oh, never mind. You wouldn't understand. |
| (Black. A spotlight flicks on, and we see Fuzzy standing in the light looking dramatic in his Captain Tricky outfit, waving his Trickyrang around The Fuzzy Bunny: The Movie Team Theme ('Wiggle It' by the Chipmunks) plays. After Fuzzy has done afew dramatic looking things, the light goes off then on. Fuzzy has been replaced by Hoppy Lashes VIII. We run through Gumpity, Bunniquette, Laff, Oyster, Westminster, Abbie, and Gumman. When in the spotlight, each of them looks very dramatic and shows off a bit After the showing off and the song, cut back to the Common Room.) | |
| WESTMINSTER: | What the hell was that about? |
| FUZZY: | It was an attempt to make us look cool and formidable. |
| WESTMINSTER: | I don't fancy its chances. |
| ABBIE: | The movie's nearly over. What do we do now? |
| OYSTER: | Follow me, Bunster Brigade. I'll take you home. |
| RABBO: | Let's go feed Yakumo, Gump. |
| GUMPITY: | Yakumo? |
| THE OTHERS: | The Walrus. |
| GUMPITY: | Ah. The alien rhinoceros. |
| ANASTASIA: | We picked up a weirdo... |
| (Oyster, Rabbo, Gumpity and the Bunster Brigade exit.) | |
| FUZZY: | I must say, I was a little nervous about doing this film. But I think we handled ourselves quite well. |
| WESTMINSTER: | Yeah. Look out, Hollywood. The SPCAG is coming! |
| (An alarm starts ringing.) | |
| FUZZY: | What's that? |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | Westminster set off my Sarcasm Detector. |
| WESTMINSTER: | Idiot. |
| (The alarm stops.) | |
| TESSA: | We chainsaws didn't exactly get a huge role, did we? |
| LENNIE: | I'm happy. I get a director's credit. |
| RALPH: | My name comes up under catering and wardrobe. |
| HOWIE: | Well, I'm writing the credits! Beat that! |
| TESSA: | Just make sure I get a 'sorcerous chainsaw' credit. |
| EARLESS: | Bloody mad fool megalomaniacal chainsaws. |
| FUZZY: | You'd better make the credits as long as possible, How. There's still a bunch of songs from the soundtrack album that we haven't used in the movie yet. Like Bunniquette's Theme, and Rabbo's Theme, and Abbie's Theme, and Sasha's Theme,and -- |
| WESTMINSTER: | What's all this 'Theme' crap? |
| FUZZY: | It's a traditional full-length animated motion picture thing. Individual characters often have particular songs assigned to them. |
| WESTMINSTER: | What, and they have to sing them? |
| FUZZY: | No. The songs just play whenever the character in question is doing something important to both the character and the plot in general. |
| WESTMINSTER: | Whatever you say. |
| ABBIE: | Anyone want a coffee? |
| FUZZY: | Thanks. |
| WESTMINSTER: | Yeah. |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | Eighteen sugars, please. |
| EARLESS: | Eighteen? How can you drink coffee with eighteen sugars? I always have at least forty-two. |
| HOPPY: | I wouldn't mind a tea, Ab. |
| ABBIE: | Carrot or parsley? |
| HOPPY: | Parsley. |
| Credits. As they roll, we hear first Abbie's Theme ('Fun, Fun, Fun' by the Beach Boys), then Rabbo's Theme ('The Little Shoemaker' by Petula Clark), followed by Sasha's Theme ('For Those In Love' also by Pet Clark), then Bunniquette's Theme ('Born This Way' by Dusty Springfield), then the Closing Theme, 'Love Me Do' by Sandie Shaw. |
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