| SEASON FIVE EPISODE ONE | |
| WELCOME TO SCAVVIEWORLD | |
| (Bunniquette's Tonsilcrash newsroom. She is at her desk, wearing her glasses. A graphic behind her says 'The Fuzzy Bunny Show'.) | |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | Welcome to the Fuzzy Bunny Show. I'm your guest host, Bunniquette O'Bunbun, filling in for Fuzzy, who's taking a little break with his wife and daughter on Sparrowcrack, the Calm and Relaxing Holiday Planet. In the absence of our leader, we, the crew of the Tonsilcrash, have unanimously decided that, after the traumatic and harrowing events of the last four seasons and the movie, we too deserve a break. So we're all heading down to Outrageous Ticket Prices, the Themepark Planet. There, we are going to spend a week or two doing nothing but having fun. |
| (The Common Room. Bunniquette, Rabbo, Hoppy Laff, Jetty, Abbie, Westminster, Earless, Gumman, Skunky, Muncher, Pirica, Oyster, Gumpity, Mal. Everyone is dressed in we're-on-holiday type clothes.) | |
| PIRICA: | We've landed on Outrageous Ticket Prices. |
| RABBO: | Let's go! |
| LAFF: | Cowabunga! |
| GUMMAN: | Smurferoo! |
| OYSTER: | Thundercats, ho! |
| WESTMINSTER: | It's Morphin' time! |
| (Everyone looks at him oddly.) | |
| WESTMINSTER: | Well... I... |
| HOPPY: | Idiot. |
| WESTMINSTER: | 'Avengers Assemble'? 'Thunderbirds Are Go'? |
| GUMMAN: | Get out of here. |
| (The planet. We're at the gates of a large themepark. Above the gates is a picture of a smiling vulture's face, and the name 'ScavvieWorld'. Our heroes are lines up at a ticket booth, which is being manned by a dumb-looking bunny. Abbie is at the front of the queue.) | |
| ABBIE: | Fourteen adults and a stuffed dinosaur, please. |
| TICKET BUNNY: | That'll be eighteen hundred squedblucks, please. |
| (Abbie pay him and he hands her the tickets.) | |
| ABBIE: | Thank you. |
| TICKET BUNNY: | Have a nice day. |
| (Abbie and friends go through the gates into the park. I'm sure I don't need to describe the park. Typical Disneyland-type-stuff. Crowds of people everywhere.) | |
| OYSTER: | What is this place? |
| GUMMAN: | ScavvieWorld |
| OYSTER: | Yeah, well, that much they got written on the gates. But what's a 'Scavvie'? |
| MAL: | Scavvie, the Wacky Vulture Boy. He's a popular cartoon character. The kiddies love him. |
| OYSTER: | Scavvie? |
| MAL: | Scavvie N. Jerr. |
| OYSTER: | Ouch. |
| (They come to a building that says 'My Life With the Vulture: the Billy Sneckmeier Story'.) | |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | Ooh! Let's go in there! That's where they show the biography of Scavvie's creator. |
| OYSTER: | How fascinating. |
| (Cut inside. A small cinema set-up. Our heroes are seated. Rabbo is eating popcorn. The curtains open and the film starts. An office, with pictures of Scavvie everywhere. Gumpity walks in, wearing a bow tie.) | |
| OYSTER: | Hey! That's you! |
| GUMPITY: | What can I say? Donald Duck wasn't available. |
| FILM GUMPITY: | Hi. I'm Gumpity, the Stuffed Toy Dinosaur With A Very Floppy Neck. You might remember me from such films as 'Fuzzy Bunny: The Movie' and 'Rat Choking: The Facts On Appendectomies (Part Five)'. I'm here today to tell you a little about Billy Sneckmeier, the creator of Scavvie, everyone's favourite Wacky Vulture Boy. Billy was born in the year 4322, in the small town of Poddlebuns, Massachusetts. At a very early age he began creating his own cartoon characters, drawing them on the inner wall of his mother's womb, using his bleeding nose as an organic crayon... |
| RABBO: | Ooh! Shades of Mister Squiggle! |
| (Two hours later. The whole audience is asleep, except Rabbo, who is enthralled. The film Gumpity is still going.) | |
| FILM GUMPITY: | ...and that was the end of Billy Sneckmeier. The moral of the story is... don't eat anything that's smarter than you. Good bye. |
| (The film ends, the curtains close, and the lights go up. The audience begins to stir.) | |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | (Yawning.) Jesus, Gump! That was boring! |
| GUMPITY: | Tell me about it. I fell asleep reading the script. |
| (An old man with 'Scriptwriter' written on his face pops up behind them and says:) | |
| SCRIPTWRITER: | You think that's bad? I fell asleep writing it! |
| (before disappearing.) | |
| RABBO: | Let's watch it again! Let's watch it again! |
| (Outside.) | |
| HOPPY: | Let's go on one of the rollercoasters. |
| WESTMINSTER: | The Bottle Opener, the Nauseatronic Looper Of Death or I-Hope-You've-Written-Your-Will-You-Suicidal-Maniac? |
| RABBO: | All of them! At once! |
| (A guy wearing a giant vulture suit comes up to them and waves a lot. It is followed by a young woman with a camera.) | |
| OYSTER: | I suppose this is meant to be Scavvie, is it? |
| LAFF: | Heck, no. This is Carrie, the Wacky Vulture Girl. |
| OYSTER: | Carrie? |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | Carrie O'Neeter. |
| OYSTER: | Yippy-skippy. |
| CAMERA GIRL: | Have your picture taken with Carrie the Wacky Vulture Girl? Only forty squedblucks! |
| OYSTER: | No thank you. |
| CAMERA GIRL: | Bloody demons. |
| ('Carrie' and the camera girl move on. Our heroes come to a huge building that says 'Scavvie: The Broadway Musical'.) | |
| MAL: | The musical! |
| LAFF: | I've wanted to see this for years! |
| PIRICA: | Let's go in! |
| (The theatre that plays host to the musical. Our heroes are in the audience. On the stage, dozens of dancers in vulture suits are dancing and singing.) | |
| VULTURE DANCER 1: | '...and that's the story of Scavvie! |
| VULTURE DANCER 2: | And all his fantabulous friends! |
| VULTURE DANCER 3: | They had such exciting adventures |
| VULTURE DANCER 4: | I hope that the fun never ends!' |
| (They launch into a sickeningly elaborate tap routine. When finished, they bow, and the curtain goes down.) | |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | That was great! |
| RABBO: | I loved the 'Pecking at Your Rotting Flesh' song. |
| OYSTER: | My ten years in Hell never prepared me for such torture as 'Scavvie: The Broadway Musical'. I think I'm going to be sick. |
| (Outside again.) | |
| JETTY: | I want to go see the 'Scavvie's Friend Stencho' exhibit in the Polecat Auditorium. |
| MUNCHER: | I'd like to go and see the 'How Scavvie Helped Catch the Galaxy's Most Wanted Criminal' display over at the ScavvieWorld Security Compound. |
| SKUNKY: | I'm going with Muncher. Coming, Willits? |
| GUMMAN: | Sure. Let's go, Jim. |
| PIRICA: | Well, the rest of us will go with Jetty. Muncher, we'll meet you guys back at the exit in three hours, OK? |
| MUNCHER: | Right. |
| (Our heroes split into two groups. They go off in different directions. We follow Muncher, Skunky, Gumman and Earless.) | |
| GUMMAN: | Isn't this place great? |
| EARLESS: | It's not bad. Of course, I've been here before. |
| SKUNKY: | Have you? |
| EARLESS: | Yes. When they were first building the place. |
| MUNCHER: | Oh? |
| EARLESS: | How do you think I— |
| (Gumman slams a garbage bin onto Earless's head.) | |
| GUMMAN: | Oops. My bin finger slipped. |
| (A different part of the park. Pirica and the others.) | |
| GUMPITY: | Oh, look! The First National ScavvieWorld Bank! |
| (Yes. A sign in the window says 'This themepark makes billions of dollars every day. This is where we keep it'.) | |
| ABBIE: | Let's get ourselves an Official Scavvie Chequebook! |
| HOPPY: | Just like the ones Stencho and Blabberthroat had in the classic 4339 short, 'Scavvie the Banker'. |
| OYSTER: | Hey... you guys have seen all the Scavvie cartoons, right? |
| GUMPITY: | Of course. |
| OYSTER: | Did any of them feature gun-toting bandit koalas? |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | No. Why? |
| OYSTER: | Because a whole bunch just ran into the bank! |
| (Two koalas with guns run out of the bank, carrying huge bags of cash. The bank manager runs out behind them and yells.) | |
| BANK GUY: | Stop! Thieves! |
| HOPPY: | Those guys robbed the bank! |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | Get 'em! |
| (Our heroes take off in pursuit of the criminals. Cut to the Security Compound. Muncher and friends are among the crowds of people perusing the 'How Scavvie Helped Catch the Galaxy's Most Wanted Criminal' display.) | |
| MUNCHER: | Fascinating! |
| GUMMAN: | Truly inspired! |
| (Suddenly a voice can be heard yelling in the distance, coming closer rapidly.) | |
| SKUNKY: | What's that noise? |
| (The koalas come smashing through one of the walls, running as fast as they can and firing behind them.) | |
| KOALA 1: | Hurry! They're gaining! |
| (The koalas dash past Muncher and the others.) | |
| MUNCHER: | Hey! You! Skunky – those koalas just destroyed this multi-million squedbluck display! After them! |
| (Pirica and her lot rush in through the hole in the wall and run after the robbers.) | |
| SKUNKY: | Guys! |
| (Muncher, Skunky, Earless and Gumman follow.) | |
| HOPPY: | Try not to get shot, Doctor Skunky! These filthy crims mean business! |
| MUNCHER: | I'll get them! |
| (Muncher draws his blaster and starts returning the koalas' fire.) | |
| ABBIE: | Goodness, Agent Muncher, do you always carry a gun? |
| MUNCHER: | No. Several. |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | We're catching up! |
| (The koalas dash into a building labeled 'The Building With Very Sticky Floors'.) | |
| HOPPY: | Ha! We've got them now! |
| (Cut inside. None of the koalas can move , their feet stuck to the floor. Our heroes stroll in.) | |
| MUNCHER: | Special Agent Muncher. You're all under arrest. |
| KOALA 1: | Grr! How come your feet aren't sticking to the floor? |
| PIRICA: | We're all wearing standard issue UBF Non-Stick Hightops. |
| KOALA 2: | Hey! That guy's a stuffed toy dinosaur! |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | It's not his fault. You're busted, buckos. 'Nicky! That's my new receptionist dancing up there!' |
| RABBO: | 'Which one?' |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | 'The Pig.' |
| RABBO: | 'She's sensational!' |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | 'Forty-five words a minute. About average.' |
| HOPPY: | Crime doesn't pay. |
| (Credits.) |
Onwards to Episode Two
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