| (The words "SPCAGTV, Artie's Ward and Recycadelic Cacti Productions present their most heartfelt apologies" appear on the screen in a very apologetic typeface.) | |
| (The black resolves into a TV studio. William Hartnell is here.) | |
| BILL: | Hello my friends. My name is William Hartnell. You may remember me from Dr Who in the early 1960s. As you'll recall, I didn't bother learning my lines and often wandered off in the middle of a shot because I thought I saw something shiny. Whoops, albatross! Beware, the jelly monster comes! |
| (The director (Lennie) sticks his head in shot.) | |
| LENNIE: | No weirdness attacks on camera! |
| BILL: | Right, absolutely. Now, where was I? |
| (Bill goes to wander off set. Howie and Ralph manhandle (chainsaw-handle?) him back into the shot.) | |
| HOWIE: | I knew we should have got Christopher Eccleston. |
| LENNIE: | Keep going! |
| BILL: | Many of you will be wondering why I'm standing here crapping on when you're doubtless very keen to discover what happened in the next part of Fuzzy Bunny Season five. Well I'm afraid I have to tell you that the entire second half of the season was lost in a tragic computer accident in the mid 1990s. This has prompted us to prepare the following message for Mr Hodge: |
| (Cut to a shot of the entire cast. Like, everybody who's ever turned up - cameos, extras, people who are dead: everyone.) | |
| ENTIRE CAST: | EVERY DAY IS BACKUP DAY! |
| (Back to Bill.) | |
| BILL: | Thank you. |
| (There is a large screen hanging next to Bill. It begins to show repeats of the last parts of last episode.) | |
| BILL: | As you will all remember, last episode had some terribly dramatic events and ended on a scary cliffhanger! |
| (Cut to the control room of a spaceship in orbit over Saddleflight Major. Two people are in there, both shrouded in shadows and unrecognisable. They both look pretty creepy.) | |
| CREEPY GUY 1: | Has she moved out of the ship? |
| CREEPY GUY 2: | She has. In fact, she's already clear of the blast radius. |
| CREEPY GUY 1: | Good. Prepare the Amazing Destructo Cannon. |
| (Back down to the surface.) | |
| LENNIE: | What's taking them so long? |
| HOPPY: | I don't-- |
| (A pillar of red light blasts down from the sky and hits the Tonsilcrash, which instantly explodes.) | |
| FUZZY: | Holy--! |
| HOPPY: | Bunniquette! |
| MAL: | Chris! |
| PIRICA: | My ship! |
| (Cut back to Bill.) | |
| BILL: | Whoop! Pretty bang bang! Wibble squark-blerk! |
| (Ralph enters and hits Bill in the face with a rubber chicken.) | |
| BILL: | Which is to say, a tragic sequence of events indeed. Who shot the Tonsilcrash, and why? And what became of Bunniquette and Chris Rabbo? |
| (Back to the screen. Cut to the interior of the Tonsilcrash. Everything is burning. Bunniquette and Rabbo are stumbling through the smoke.) | |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | What the hell happened? |
| RABBO: | I don't know... but we have to get the walrus and get out of here before the entire ship goes up! |
| (Cut to outside again. The Tank, bus and Studebaker are out of sight. Bunniquette and Rabbo stand well away from the burning ship, watching it. Between them sits the walrus. Bunniquette is wearing her S-Jacket and Chris is holding a suitcase which contains the small percentage of their belongings which they were able to save.) | |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | Here we go... |
| (They shield their eyes as the ship explodes.) | |
| RABBO: | Great. And the others have nicked off! |
| (And back to Bill again.) | |
| BILL: | Lost and alone on a desert wasteland with only a walrus for company. What was to become of Bunniquette and Chris? |
| (Screen again. Quette and Chris climb onto the walrus's back.) | |
| RABBO: | Follow the tyre tracks, Genevieve. |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | Um... I don't think they want us to go anywhere, Chris. |
| RABBO: | 'They' who? |
| (They are surrounded by scary-looking desert nomad-type guys with big guns.) | |
| RABBO: | Uh-oh. |
| (Bill again.) | |
| BILL: | What a truly terrifying place to end the episode! And indeed, that is where the season would have ended after the Tim's Crappy 3 ½ inch Floppy Disk incident. However, using space-age digital equipment and the most advanced reconstructive technologies available, I am proud to present for the first time, Fuzzy Bunny Season Five: The Missing Adventures! |
Quick! Click here to go to the first part of the reconstruction!
Or if you like doing things in the wrong order, you could jump to the second part!