| SEASON SIX EPISODE TWELVE | |
| OH, BUGGER. HE'S BACK. | |
| (Bunniquette and Chris's bedroom. Bunniquette has just come out of the shower and got dressed. She is drying her hair, and the Ashtray Pendant is lying on her pillow. The Walrus is watching her from the doorway.) | |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | Today's the day, Chris, old boy. At precisely eight thirteen this morning, you will revert to your original form, having completed your punishment. By my watch, you've got about two minutes to wait. |
| (The Ashtray Pendant turns into Chris Rabbo.) | |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | Of course, my watch could be a couple of minutes slow. |
| CHRIS: | Darling! |
| (He leaps into her arms and kisses her.) | |
| CHRIS: | How I've missed you! |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | Missed me? You've been hanging around my neck for the last twelve episodes! |
| CHRIS: | Well ... what I meant to say was, "How I've missed you except for your neck, which is the bit I haven't missed because I've been hanging around it for the last twelve episodes but I still missed the rest of you". Yep. That's what I meant. |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | Grrreat. Now we'd better get to Ralph's restaurant quickly, or we'll miss the beginning of your "Welcome Back To Not Being A Necklace" party. |
| (Chris isn't paying attention. He has noticed the walrus, and rushes over to hug it.) | |
| CHRIS: | Nelson! How are you, sweetie? |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | And we were just getting used to it having a consistent name ... |
| CHRIS: | Who, my little Bethany J. Wobblestopper? Never! Couldn't happen! |
| (Bunniquette pushes Chris out the door, and then turns to the walrus.) | |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | C'mon, Rhino, let's get down to this party. |
| (Ralph's. Fuzzy, Sasha, Abbie, Westminster, Earless, Pirica, Gumman, Muncher, Skunky, Laff, Mal, Jetty, Mac, Anastasia, Grovelspit, Jupie, Gumpity, Ralph, Tessa, Howie, Lennie, Lucky, the HNM, Shandrilak. Bunniquette, Chris, and the walrus enter.) | |
| ABBIE: | Yay! |
| JETTY: | Welcome back, Chris! |
| SHANDRILAK: | I see the Parole Spell that your father sent me here to cast has taken effect. You're free from the curse of the Ashtray Pendant! |
| FUZZY: | It's good to see you back to normal, Chris! |
| WESTMINSTER: | No, it's not. It's going to be bloody annoying. |
| CHRIS: | Yes ... it will! I've got a lot of catching up to do! |
| (Cut to Gumman's surgery, where we see Gumman and Chris.) | |
| GUMMAN: | And what seems to be the problem? |
| CHRIS: | I just spent several weeks as a necklace. |
| GUMMAN: | Oh, dear. That can be nasty. Still, you're over the worst now. But you'd best be on the safe side. I'll give you something to help your system readjust. Here's your prescription. |
| CHRIS: | !! |
| GUMMAN: | I -- hey, hang on ... did I say "prescription"? That can't be right. Let me check my script ... |
| (He grabs a script from under his desk and flicks through it.) | |
| GUMMAN: | Augh! What are they playing at? |
| (Cut to Tim and Leila in the writers' office. They are both chuckling.Cut back to the party.) | |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | That was a great party, Fuzz. So what do we do now? |
| FUZZY: | I think ... that we'll end the episode. |
| MAL: | What? But we just started! |
| FUZZY: | I know ... but it's the last show of the season, and the writers want to get it out of the way quickly so they can go on to season seven. |
| SASHA: | Why? What's happening in season seven? |
| FUZZY: | Nothing as exciting as what's happening in season eight, believe me. |
| GUMPITY: | Oh? What's season eight, then? |
| FUZZY: | Oyster's coming back, just in time for a full scale war with Ch'zzi - and we're talking actual armies here, a real war, not just a punch up between her side and our side - and as a result of that mega-huge conflict, we'll see the return of a sorely missed face from the past - in some way or another (and no, it's not Reed Richards, or Sebastian Shaw) - and in the eighth episode, everything will explode into the wowiest, most action-packed, thrilling, alarmingly hilarious show ever! |
| JETTY: | Why the eighth episode? |
| FUZZY: | Because it's the one hundredth show. Now can we stop talking about season eight? We haven't done season seven, yet! |
| WESTMINSTER: | Can't we skip ahead? |
| FUZZY: | No! |
| WESTMINSTER: | Oh well. It was worth a try. |
| (Cut to Anastasia's house. She is in there alone, with the curtains closed.) | |
| ANASTASIA: | Get here, now! I've got a message for you! |
| (Valium appears.) | |
| VALIUM: | Yes? |
| ANASTASIA: | Tell that Limbo Queen loser boss of your that my dealings with her have come to an end. My plans have changed, and I now want no part in her affairs. |
| VALIUM: | She will not take this lightly! None may betray the Limbo Queen and -- |
| ANASTASIA: | Put a sock in it, Joe! Do I look scared? |
| VALIUM: | Um ... no. No, actually, you don't. Not at all, really. Now that you mention it, you're one of the least scared-looking people I've ever seen. Wow. I'm quite shocked by your lack of scaredness. It's uncanny. |
| ANASTASIA: | Shut up, you blabbering prat. Now get out of here. And if you ever come back, you'll regret it. |
| VALIUM: | I'm not scared either. You can't threaten me! I'm a demon! |
| ANASTASIA: | Yeah, well, I'm the Quintessa Bunnyon, and once upon a time I used to assassinate demons like you every two weeks! So scram, granny-chaser! |
| VALIUM: | Um ... yeah, okay. Sure, I can do that. Bye. |
| (Valium vanishes.) | |
| ANASTASIA: | Useless! Him, his pathetic Limbo Queen, the Rhino Warlord and his doctor wife ... all useless! That Hess character ... useless! Rufus, Yasta, even the Easter Bunny and Smoky! All useless! And as for the Stab-stabs ... well!! The only decent villains to ever grace this series are myself and Grizzle. She's dead, and I'm turned nice! It's about time this show met someone really bad, and someone who doesn't end up going good! Sadly, the requirements of my current agenda forbid my return to the life of a villain ... but something has to be done! |
| (Credits. End of Season Six, I guess.) |
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