| SEASON SEVEN EPISODE FOUR | |
| HELLO, MANY VISITORS | |
| (The Taildale "Moonlight Motor Car Let's-Watch-A-Movie Drive-In". In one car are young Fuzzy and young Pirica.) | |
| FUZZY: | Are you enjoying the movie, Ric? |
| PIRICA: | Yes. You? |
| FUZZY: | Yup. |
| PIRICA: | It got very good reviews in Gum Magazine and The Taildale Entertainer. Shouldn't be long before the sex scene starts. |
| (Fuzzy's eyes widen. He begins to sweat.) | |
| FUZZY: | The ... what? |
| PIRICA: | Apparently the guy in the pink hat - you know, the guy with two noses - seduces that woman with the ugly shoes, and they go to a motel, and ... well, you'll see for yourself. |
| FUZZY: | I ... well ... oops! Look at the time! I'd better get back to the base. Don't want to miss breakfast. |
| PIRICA: | Breakfast isn't on for another thirteen hours, Fuzzikins. |
| FUZZY: | Well, I ... left the oven on! Yeah! Gotta go! |
| PIRICA: | Fuzzy, we don't have an oven. |
| FUZZY: | Oh. Then I -- |
| PIRICA: | Relax, I was kidding. There's not really any sex scene. |
| FUZZY: | Oh, thank goodness! |
| PIRICA: | You're very unusual, Fuzzy. This aversion of yours to "the bad stuff" is most peculiar. This is our eighth date, and you still won't even let me kiss you! |
| FUZZY: | It's not that I don't like you! I do! I just ... |
| PIRICA: | It's okay. I'm not going to pressure you ... yet. It can wait until after the wedding. |
| (She looks lovingly at her engagement ring.) | |
| FUZZY: | Yeah. |
| (Titles. Three weeks later. The day of the wedding. Fuzzy's room. He has just finished dressing.) | |
| FUZZY: | I'm so nervous! Maybe getting married is the wrong thing to do! No ... I love Ric. But ... but, I've only known her for a month and a half. And ... and, once we're married, she's going to want us to ... do bad stuff. Especially on the honeymoon. I ... she ... |
| (There's a knock at the door. From outside, we hear Ghuzzy.) | |
| GHUZZY'S VOICE: | How's it going, son? The wedding starts in an hour and three-quarters. |
| FUZZY: | Heh! Yeah! C-can't wait, dad! Augh! |
| (The Bridge of the Insectblanket. Fuzzy is taking off.) | |
| FUZZY: | She'll never forgive me. But I can't do it! I just can't!! I'll ... just go off by myself in this little ship that I found in the pile of wedding presents. I'll have a holiday by myself, and reassess my feelings. Yeah. |
| (A month later: The Bridge. Fuzzy and Laff.) | |
| LAFF: | It's great to meet you at last, Fuzzy. We've been pen-pals for years. Thanks for inviting me to join you in your travels. This is a great little ship. |
| FUZZY: | Thank you, for agreeing to come! I got kind of lonely. |
| (Another month passes, and they return to Earth. Taildale. James Cleveland's house. Fuzzy, Laff, Earless, Abbie, Westminster.) | |
| ABBIE: | Fuzzy, we'd love to! It'll be great! |
| WESTMINSTER: | Now hang on, honey-carrots! |
| ABBIE: | We've been searching for a home of our own, but there's nothing we can afford. The chance to make a home aboard your ship is too good to pass up! |
| WESTMINSTER: | Is it? |
| ABBIE: | It means we won't have to live with Dad any more. |
| WESTMINSTER: | Well, there is that ... |
| (There's a knock at the front door. Earless answers it. It's Bullocksnap.) | |
| EARLESS: | Morning, Alex. |
| BULLOCKSNAP: | I trust you're well, Jim? |
| FUZZY: | >Ulp< ... ! Colonel! |
| BULLOCKSNAP: | So! Ghuzzy was right! You are back! |
| (Saint Wafflepop's School For Lady Bunnies: the courtyard. Several students (and nuns) milling around. Young Pirica and Anastasia.) | |
| PIRICA: | Bitch! |
| ANASTASIA: | You're going to regret calling me that, child. |
| (Taildale: Lofty Frank's Pretty Good Hardware Store. Fuzzy approaches the counter.) | |
| FUZZY: | I'd like to buy five chainsaws, please. |
| LOFTY FRANK: | That'll be expensive, bucko. Reckon you can afford it? |
| FUZZY: | Charge it to my UBF Gold Card. |
| LOFTY FRANK: | Oh! I do beg your pardon, sir! Of course, you're Admiral Ghuzzy's boy! I'm sorry, I didn't recognise you out of your Junior Cadet uniform. |
| (Back to the present. Fuzzy's house. Fuzzy and Anna. Fuzzy's drunk.) | |
| FUZZY: | An' so that was how it all began. |
| ANASTASIA: | >Yawn< ... fascinating. |
| FUZZY: | Anna? |
| ANASTASIA: | Yes? |
| FUZZY: | Let's go up to the bedroom. |
| ANASTASIA: | !! |
| FUZZY: | Will you read me a story? |
| ANASTASIA: | >Sigh< ... yes, Fuzzy. |
| (He hugs her.) | |
| FUZZY: | Thank you. |
| (He's asleep. She runs a hand through his hair and kisses his forehead.) | |
| ANASTASIA: | You little silly. What am I going to do with you? |
| (She produces a knife, and looks at it for a moment.) | |
| ANASTASIA: | No ... not tonight. |
| (She carries him upstairs and tucks him into the bed that he until recently shared with Sasha. Having done that, she watches him for a moment.) | |
| ANASTASIA: | I could have told you the day I met you that your relationship with that Uulamets kid wouldn't work. Of course, it's true that the main reason she left was that Mac slipped her that Ferocity Serum ... but, still ... I mustn't forget that there's this "plastic hearts" thing as well ... how interesting. I'm not sure if this is really for the better, though ... I'll have to completely revise my entire Hidden Agenda. How shall I deal with Fuzzy? Nice, or knife? Hmmm ... |
| (The next morning. Sunlight streams in through Fuzzy's bedroom window. He rolls over, and opens his eyes.) | |
| FUZZY: | Good morning, me. Golly, but I've a headache. I hope I didn't ... oh, yes. I did. The old champagne thing again. Bum. How stupid. Still ... it's my own fault. I ... I guess I'll just get up, watch a few Doctor Who videos ... maybe one of the Star Trek movies, or some Red Dwarf ... whatever that is. At least I didn't wake up in Anastasia's bed again. |
| (The front door opens downstairs.) | |
| PIRICA'S VOICE: | Knock, knock! You home, F? |
| FUZZY: | Ouch! Not so loud, Ric! I'm up here! |
| (Pirica enters. She's carrying a picnic basket.) | |
| PIRICA: | Hangover? |
| FUZZY: | Yeah. I was stupid enough to let Anna get me drunk again. I asked for it, though. |
| PIRICA: | Well, you had a bad day yesterday. |
| FUZZY: | I shouldn't be too upset. I mean, if Sasha and I were never in love, why should her leaving make me sad? |
| PIRICA: | I suppose that's one way to look at it. |
| FUZZY: | Of course, it kind of makes me miss Diamonds, but ... |
| PIRICA: | That girl you met in the future? |
| FUZZY: | Yeah. But let's not get started on that. What's in the basket? |
| PIRICA: | I knew how you'd be feeling today, so I brought you some Swiss cheese and sherbet, and some comic books - FF and Avengers back issues, hope that's okay - and I also got you a couple of videos. More Than Several Hundred Years In The TARDIS, and Scavvie: The Movie (6). |
| FUZZY: | Thanks, Ric. I don't know what I'd do without you. I'm, uh, sorry Oyster left you. |
| PIRICA: | It's like he said, I only liked him because he zapped me with his demon powers. I don't miss him at all. |
| FUZZY: | That's good. Thanks for bringing me this stuff. |
| PIRICA: | No probs. |
| (A knock at the door.) | |
| FUZZY: | Who is it? |
| ABBIE'S VOICE: | It's just me. |
| FUZZY: | Come in. |
| (Abbie enters. Followed by Westminster, Earless, and Gumpity.) | |
| FUZZY: | Why ... hello, Abbie. |
| ABBIE: | Okay, so it's not just me. It's me, and him, and old him, and Gumpity. |
| GUMPITY: | Yeah. It's me, and her, and him, and old him. |
| WESTMINSTER: | They're both right. It's her, and Gumpity, and me, and the geriatric idiot. |
| EARLESS: | They're all spinning crap. It's just Abbie. You're imagining the rest of us. |
| FUZZY: | Champagne-induced hallucinations, eh? |
| EARLESS: | Yup. You know ... I drank champagne once. |
| (Fuzzy says dryly, with a rather unimpressed look on his face,) | |
| FUZZY: | Oh, really? |
| EARLESS: | Of course. How do you think I -- |
| (Fuzzy lobs an empty champagne bottle at Earless, narrowly missing.) | |
| EARLESS: | Hey, I think he did that on purpose! |
| FUZZY: | I never. |
| ABBIE: | How are you feeling, Fuzzy? We, um, all know that you got drunk again last night. |
| FUZZY: | Kinda dumb of me, I know. |
| WESTMINSTER: | Look, Fuzz, I, uh, well, we're sorry about Sasha. If there's anything that any of us can do ... |
| FUZZY: | I appreciate your support, West. But I'll be fine. Really! As long as Sasha's happy, so am I. If going home and deserting her husband is what makes her happy, then fine. Me and Ric can do fine without her. |
| PIRICA: | !! |
| (Anastasia comes in.) | |
| ANASTASIA: | Morning, all. How's the patient? |
| PIRICA: | Fuck off, Snatch. |
| ANASTASIA: | Nice to see you too, DeBunny. Next person to call me "Snatch" is going to taste the blade of my ... letter opener. |
| PIRICA: | What else does one call a filthy, slimy, heartless, evil, revolting bodysnatcher? |
| ANASTASIA: | Well, how about filthy, slimy, heartless, evil, and revolting, for starters? There's something distinctly ... unpleasant about the name "Snatch". |
| PIRICA: | Well, gee, I'd hate to offend you. |
| ANASTASIA: | Goodness, but you're an amusing one. |
| FUZZY: | Why are all these people in my house? |
| (Credits.) |
On to Episode five
Back to Season Seven part one home
Back to Fuzzy Bunny Show home