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SEASON ONE EPISODE SEVEN |
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THE INCONVENIENT RETURN OF THE MISSING BUNNIES |
(The alien ship piloted by Hoppy and Laff floats through space towards the UBF Sea Kidney. On the Bridge of Fuzzy's ship, we find Bullocksnap, Uulamets and Earless) | |
BULLOCKSNAP: | I hear your daughter has a hot date with Fuzzy tonight, Teddy, old boy? |
UULAMETS: | You must be mistaken. Sasha is allergic to dates. |
EARLESS: | What? |
BULLOCKSNAP: | He's from Russia. |
UULAMETS: | She's quite fond of strawberries ... I don't know why, though. She's never seen one. |
EARLESS: | Never seen a strawberry? |
BULLOCKSNAP: | She's from-- |
EARLESS: | Don't say it. Please don't say it. |
UULAMETS: | Tell me, Mister Cleveland, what's your favourite fruit? |
EARLESS: | Never really thought about it. Fond of diced pears, though. |
UULAMETS: | Really? |
EARLESS: | Of course! How do you think I-- hang on! I'm not falling for that again! You just want me to tell you a 'How I lost My Ears' story so you can try out some nasty magic spell on me. Well I'm not that gullible. |
BULLOCKSNAP: | That's a matter of opinion. |
EARLESS: | Yeah, well, your opinion doesn't matter. |
BULLOCKSNAP: | Yet another example of your rapier wit? |
EARLESS: | Shut up or I'll cut your ears off. |
UULAMETS: | I don't think I could handle two of them. |
(Cut to Abbie's room. Abbie and Bunniquette are helping Sasha get ready for dinner. She's wearing a fancy green ball gown and Bunniquette has done her hair.) | |
ABBIE: | Oh, you look lovely, Sasha! |
SASHA: | Really? |
ABBIE: | Really! You'll be the belle of the ball! |
BUNNIQUETTE: | Except that there's no ball and you'll be the only girl there anyway. |
ABBIE: | Well, yes, but... it's the thought that counts. |
BUNNIQUETTE: | We just have to finish your make-up. |
SASHA: | Thank you both. I would not know what to do for this occasion if not for your help. |
BUNNIQUETTE: | She's from-- oops. Sorry. |
ABBIE: | I wonder if Fuzzy's ready? |
(Cut to Fuzzy's bedroom: a replica of the Bridge of the Insectblanket with a bed in the middle of the control console. Westminster and Mal are with Fuzzy.) | |
MAL: | Careful, Fuzzy. I just ironed that suit. |
(Fuzzy is putting on a tuxedo) | |
WESTMINSTER: | You look smashing, Fuzzy. There's no way Sasha will be able to resist you. |
FUZZY: | Oh? I don't want to pressure her. Maybe I should just wear a T-shirt and jeans. |
MAL: | Don't be stupid. |
WESTMINSTER: | Yeah. She'll expect you to make an effort to look nice. |
MAL: | That's not what I meant. I just don't want my ironing to go to waste. |
FUZZY: | I just wish Willits wasn't providing the music. |
(Alone on the bridge, Uulamets is looking into a crystal ball.) | |
UULAMETS: | What? That stupid doctor is going to play violin for my daughter and the Admiral? (he claps his hands twice) I think not. |
(Willits Gumman is in his consulting room polishing his violin. It suddenly bursts into flames.) | |
GUMMAN: | What the hell?! |
(The bridge) | |
UULAMETS: | That's better. |
(Back to Fuzzy's room. Fuzzy, in his tux, is pretending to dance with a teddy bear.) | |
FUZZY: | La di da! |
(He begins to sing 'Stepping Out With A Star' from 'The Great Muppet Caper' (one of his all-time fave movies), but is interrupted by Mal) | |
MAL: | Don't sing. |
WESTMINSTER: | Well, actually, Mal, a nice little musical number might relieve some of the tension around here. |
MAL: | Well, okay. |
(The three of them do the whole song. Westminster takes Fozzie's role, and Mal does Gonzo. After the song, Westminster flings open the bedroom door.) | |
WESTMINSTER: | Your Malt Shoppe awaits! |
MAL: | Victory Through Air Power! |
FUZZY: | Here goes... |
(We now cross live to Abbie's room) | |
ABBIE: | It's almost time. |
BUNNIQUETTE: | Excited? |
SASHA: | Much! |
(Sasha is clutching a photo of Fuzzy. She looks at it, and sings 'I Only Want To Be With You'. Abbie looks shocked, but Bunniquette has to hold back laughter. After the song, Bunniquette flings open the bedroom door) | |
BUNNIQUETTE: | Your beau is waiting for you, mademoiselle! |
ABBIE: | Knock him dead! |
SASHA: | What?! |
ABBIE: | Figure of speech! Figure of speech! |
SASHA: | ...I'm from Russia. |
BUNNIQUETTE: | I didn't say it. |
(Cut to the Malt Shoppe. Fuzzy is there waiting. Sasha enters. Fuzzy is stunned.) | |
FUZZY: | Sasha! You're beautiful! |
SASHA: | Why, thank you, Admiral. I am very pleased to happy you. Also your nice is very appearance. I-- I mean, oh, dear! |
FUZZY: | Uh... okay. Shall we go to our table? |
SASHA: | Yes. |
(They move to a nearby table and sit down. Cut to the Bridge, where we find Gumman, Mal, and Abbie, all staring at a computer console) | |
ABBIE: | Oh no! |
GUMMAN: | Not now! |
MAL: | This can't be happening! |
(We return to the Malt Shoppe. Fuzzy and Sasha are dining on elegant French food.) | |
FUZZY: | Do you like the meal? |
SASHA: | Yes. But... what is this red thing on top of the cake? |
FUZZY: | Why, that's a strawberry! |
SASHA: | Oh! My very favourite! |
(Suddenly Abbie runs in, looking terrified) | |
ABBIE: | I'm so sorry to interrupt, but... there's a totally huge warship outside! Biggest ship I ever saw! Coming straight at us! |
FUZZY: | Oh, no! Sasha, I'm sorry-- |
SASHA: | I understand. You must go. |
FUZZY: | Abbigail, look after Sasha. |
ABBIE: | Good luck, Admiral. |
(Fuzzy runs on to the Bridge. Mal and Bunniquette are there.) | |
FUZZY: | What's going on? |
BUNNIQUETTE: | The ship has just attached itself to our primary airlock. They're boarding us, and there's nothing we can do to stop them. |
(Fuzzy produces three blasters. He gives Bunniquette and Mal one each.) | |
FUZZY: | To the primary airlock! |
(Cut to Uulamets' room. He is in there.) | |
UULAMETS: | Just a second! The two missing crew members-- |
(Cut to the primary airlock. Fuzzy, Mal and Bunniquette arrive just as the airlock opens. They aim their blasters. At Hoppy and Laff.) | |
FUZZY: | Laff? |
MAL: | Hoppy? |
BUNNIQUETTE: | Uh-oh. |
(Cut to the Malt Shoppe, where Sasha and Abbie are waiting for news.) | |
ABBIE: | I'm sure Fuzzy will be all right. |
SASHA: | But our romantic dinner is ruined! it is much disappointing! |
ABBIE: | Well, at least we know that Fuzzy feels the same way you do. |
(Uulamets enters) | |
SASHA: | Oh father! It all worked out much wrongly! |
UULAMETS: | Oh no, dear. Don't worry. Fuzzy will return with good news. |
(Fuzzy runs in and hugs Sasha, who almost faints. She's never been hugged before) | |
FUZZY: | Party time! Yay! |
ABBIE: | What? Admiral! What's going on? |
FUZZY: | It was just Hoppy and Laff! They were kidnapped, but they escaped, and now they're back! |
(Hoppy, Laff, Westminster, Bunniquette, Mal, Earless, Bullocksnap, Gumman and the chainsaws enter.) | |
GUMMAN: | Break out the champagne! The little lost lambs are home at last! |
SASHA & UULAMETS: | What lambs? |
FUZZY: | Never mind. |
(While the others party, Mal takes Hoppy aside.) | |
MAL: | Hop, we need to talk. |
HOPPY LASHES: | It's over, Mal. I told you. |
MAL: | I know. I just wanted to ask you... would Bunniquette want to be married in a church? |
HOPPY LASHES: | What? You can't propose to Bunniquette! |
MAL: | But-- |
HOPPY LASHES: | It's out of the question! You're not good enough for her. |
MAL: | No, look here! Just because our separation was messy-- |
HOPPY LASHES: | No, I mean it literally! Bunniquette is secretly an alien princess! |
MAL: | Oh, my goodness! |
(Dramatic music plays over the credits.) |