SEASON TWO EPISODE FOUR

AFTER HOPPY: THE AGE OF RUFUS

(Gumman's surgery. Gumman, Uulamets, Bunniquette, Hoppy and Mal. Gumman has been examining Hoppy and Mal.)

GUMMAN:

It's no good. I can't even remove their battlesuits, let alone reverse their brainwashing.

BUNNIQUETTE:

The UBF battlesuits were designed to stay on for good. It's the only way Rufus and Yasta could control them properly.

GUMMAN:

There is one upside to this whole affair, though.

BUNNIQUETTE:

Yeah? Like what?

GUMMAN:

Somehow the UBF has done the impossible - Hoppy Lashes has been cured.

BUNNIQUETTE:

Cured? But you said the mysterious alien disease that killed Laff was incurable.

GUMMAN:

That's what I thought. But the UBF must have access to some kind of new medical procedures that I don't know about. Anyway, it means that the universe is safe. Now that Hoppy is well, she can go on to have her children and fulfill her destiny.

(While Bunniquette and Gumman are talking, Uulamets is inspecting the battlesuits.)

UULAMETS:

Congratulations, Doctor Gumman. You have managed to completely overlook the blindingly obvious and simple solution to the battlesuit problem.

GUMMAN:

Huh?

(Uulamets presses a button on Mal's battlesuit. The suit just sort of opens up and Mal falls out.)

UULAMETS:

You didn't try the 'off' button.

BUNNIQUETTE:

Then we can get Hoppy out, too!

(Bunniquette touches the button on Hoppy's battlesuit. It opens like Mal's did.)

GUMMAN:

Oh, no!

BUNNIQUETTE:

What?

GUMMAN:

I've just worked it out! It's the suit! Without the battlesuit, Hoppy will again be vulnerable to the effects of the disease!

BUNNIQUETTE:

But--

GUMMAN:

If Hoppy dies before having nine children, the world as we know it will cease to exist! A new reality will be born - a reality without Bunny Funs!

UULAMETS:

NO!!!

GUMMAN:

What?!

UULAMETS:

It's Hoppy Lashes! Look!

BUNNIQUETTE:

Stop her!

(They're too late. Without the battlesuit's life-support systems, Hoppy Lashes dies. Mal, Gumman, Teddy and Bunniquette are all frozen in mid-scream as the entire scene turns into glass and shatters. Cut to the Malt Shoppe. Rabbo, the 4 chainsaws, Westminster, Abbie, Earless, Bullocksnap.)

ABBIE:

I wonder how Doctor Gumman is doing with Hoppy and Mal.

WESTMINSTER:

I'm sure everything will be fine.

CHRIS RABBO:

Unghk! Ggg -- Aaarrgh!

TESSA:

What is it?

ABBIE:

Chris - are you okay?

CHRIS RABBO:

She's d - d - dead!!

(They all turn to glass and shatter. Cut to the bridge. Fuzzy and Sasha.)

FUZZY:

I'm glad we got the mess about your father sorted out. To think they were only after you because they thought you and your dad were BFDs! Ha!

SASHA:

Yes. It is muchly ridiculous. They must have been--

(They too turn into glass and shatter. Cut to a long shot of the universe - planets, stars, etc. They whole lot turns to glass and shatters, leaving nothing but blackness. After a full minute of dark silence, we see a light in the distance. Suddenly, with a blinding flash, the universe is back. We are looking at the Insectblanket, good as new. Cut to the bridge, where we see Fuzzy, in his space pirate outfit, Laff, similarly dressed, and Bullocksnap.)

FUZZY:

Colonel, have you located the tyrant's secret base?

BULLOCKSNAP:

Yes, your highness. He is on Nerpalon 12 with Princess Uulamets.

FUZZY:

Of course. Ha! Did he truly believe that he could hide from the King of the Pirates?

LAFF:

My Lord! There is a ship approaching.

FUZZY:

Who is it?

LAFF:

It's alright. It's just Abbigail and her husband.

FUZZY:

Prepare the airlock for their arrival.

(Cut to the airlock. Abbie, Westminster, Laff and Earless. Abbie is carrying a baby bunny. Earless has his ears.)

EARLESS:

Thank heavens you're back, my dear. I was worried that the UBF had caught you.

ABBIE:

No. They were on our tail for a while, but we lost them.

EARLESS:

Good. I don't want my granddaughter being caught by the UBF. How is the little sweetie? (To baby) Say hewwo to Gwandpa, wittle Bunniquette!

WESTMINSTER:

How have things been while we were gone, Jim?

EARLESS:

Fine. Lord Fuzzy has devised a cunning plan to capture the tyrant and make him pay for his evil deeds.

WESTMINSTER:

Death to the tyrant!

ALL BUT BABY:

Death to Rufus!

(Cut to Rufus' ship. Rufus, Yasta, Mal (as B9) and Sasha.)

RUFUS:

Did you do as I told you?

YASTA:

Yes, sir. The trap is set. The leader of the rebellion thinks that we are stationed on Nerpalon 12. When he goes there to capture you, he will be destroyed.

RUFUS:

Good. I'll teach 'Lord Fuzzy' that nobody plots against Rufus, Ruler of the Universe, and gets away with it. Right, my love?

SASHA:

Yes.

(Sasha and Rufus kiss. Cut to a barren wasteland on Nerpalon 12. The four chainsaws are there.)

TESSA:

Is the trap finished?

LENNIE:

Yes. When the pirate kind arrives, he'll be killed instantly.

TESSA:

Good. Emperor Rufus will be pleased.

LENNIE:

Hail Rufus!

TESSA, RALPH:

Hail Rufus!

HOWIE:

... hail Rufus...

(Behind them, unnoticed, Lucky falls out of the sky and lands roughly amongst a pile of boulders. Cut back to the Bridge of the Insectblanket. Fuzzy, Laff, Bullocksnap, Abbie, Westminster, Earless and the baby.)

FUZZY:

... so that's the plan. We get to Nerpalon 12, and--

(There is a beep. Laff moves to the communications console. On a small monitor we see Howie's face.)

LAFF:

It is your spy, Lord Fuzzy.

FUZZY:

Yes?

HOWIE:

You were right, Lord. It is a trap.

FUZZY:

Good work, Agent Howard. I'll see that you are rewarded.

(Cut to Nerpalon 12. The chainsaws are gone. Lucky is lying on the ground, only semi-conscious. He is covered with tiny shards of shattered glass.)

LUCKY:

Unngh... what happened? Oh, no! The Bunny Fun descendant died before fulfilling her destiny! I must set things right!

(Cut back to Rufus' ship. Rufus, Sasha, Yasta. A UBF soldier enters looking worried.)

RUFUS:

Yes?

SOLDIER:

I have... bad news, your highness.

RUFUS:

What?

SOLDIER:

The trap that was set for the pirate king has failed. He was warned by a spy amongst your chainsaws.

RUFUS:

Curses! Which chainsaw betrayed me?

SOLDIER:

We believe it was Chainsaw 2 - the one known as Howie.

RUFUS:

Destroy him! Destroy all the chainsaws! And bring me the skull of the pirate king!

(Fuzzy, Laff, Westminster, Bullocksnap and Earless suddenly burst into the room, all armed with blasters.)

FUZZY:

I'll save him the trouble! I brought it with me! Prepare to die, villain!

RUFUS:

Villain? I'm the ruler of the universe, pal. You're the villain, pirate scum! Soldier, kill them!

(Before the soldier can act, Laff shoots him dead.)

RUFUS:

B9! B9!

(B9 rushes in, weapons at the ready.)

LAFF:

We must retreat, Lord Fuzzy! B9 is a BFD! We can't beat him!

FUZZY:

A what? What's a BFD?

RUFUS:

Yeah, what is a BFD?

LAFF:

You know, a Bunny F -- nggh!

(Laff falls to his knees in intense pain.)

FUZZY:

Laff! What's wrong?

(Laff looks around, confused.)

LAFF:

Where... am I? Fuzzy? I thought I was... dead. Hoppy! Where's Hoppy?

FUZZY & RUFUS:

Who?

EARLESS:

What's he babbling about?

LAFF:

This is all wrong! It never happened like this! The alien disease - it...

RUFUS:

I care nothing for the insane Dropoff's ramblings. Kill them, B9.

LAFF:

He can't kill us. If he's not a BFD then he's no tougher than us! Shoot him, Fuzzy!

(Fuzzy does. Mal collapses, dead.)

FUZZY:

That's 'Lord Fuzzy' to you, Laff. King of the Pirates, remember?

LAFF:

Pirates? You? But you were--

RUFUS:

I'll kill you all myself! Yasta! Give me my gun!

(Yasta moves to hand Rufus the gun, but is intercepted by Sasha.)

SASHA:

No! No more violence! Two have died already!

YASTA:

Out of my way, witch.

SASHA:

Oh, I'm a witch, am I? Perhaps you'd like to see how witch-like I can be!

(Sasha begins to glow fiercely and blasts Yasta with some nasty magic spell.)

RUFUS:

Yasta! If she's hurt, rabbit--

(There is a crack of thunder. Lucky appears in the centre of the room, and brushes glass off his shoulders.)

LUCKY:

Enough! I have seen enough! This is all wrong!

FUZZY & RUFUS:

Who are you?

LAFF:

Lucky! Thank goodness! Where's Hoppy?

LUCKY:

Dead. That doth be the problem.

LAFF:

Now I understand. Hoppy died, thus disrupting the Bunny Fun Legacy timeline, and distorting the past and future. That's why all this weird stuff is happening. I mean, shit, Earless even has his ears!

EARLESS:

Who's 'Earless'?

LAFF:

It's you, you daft old--

EARLESS:

Must be some mistake. My name is James. You should know that.

LAFF:

Oh yeah? Well I also should be dead! Lucky, how do we get things back to normal?

LUCKY:

Come with me, mortal.

(The two of them vanish. The credits do not roll.)