SEASON TWO EPISODE FIVE

LUCKY SAVES THE UNIVERSE

(The Sea Kidney. Gumman's surgery. Gumman, Uulamets, Bunniquette, B9, Leapflog. Gumman is examining Hoppy and Mal's UBF battlesuits.)

GUMMAN:

It's no good. I can't even remove their battlesuits, let alone reverse the brainwashing.

BUNNIQUETTE:

The UBF battlesuits were designed to stay on for good. It's the only way Rufus and Yasta can control them properly.

GUMMAN:

There is one upside--

(Gumman is interrupted. There is a sound like thunder, and in a blinding flash of light Lucky and Laff appear in the room.)

GUMMAN:

Laff? Laff? Is that you?

LAFF:

Not for long. Listen, I have something very important to tell you. You see how Hoppy has been cured of the disease?

GUMMAN:

Yes. It's amazing.

LAFF:

No. It's the suit. if you take the battlesuit off Hoppy, she'll succumb to the disease again.

GUMMAN:

...What are you trying to say?

LAFF:

Don't take off Hoppy's battlesuit!

BUNNIQUETTE:

Aren't you supposed to be dead? I'm sure you're supposed to be dead.

LAFF:

Yes. But if you take off Hoppy's battlesuit, she'll die, and the whole universe will be rooted. So don't.

LUCKY:

We must return.

LAFF:

Right. Do you understand, Gumman? Do not remove Hoppy's battlesuit or she will die.

(Laff and Lucky vanish. Cut to the Malt Shoppe. Rabbo, 4 chainsaws, Abbie, Westminster, Earless, Bullocksnap. Gumman enters, looking pale and wary. He roughly falls onto a stool and says:)

GUMMAN:

I've just seen a ghost.

(Cut to the bridge of the Insectblanket, where Lord Fuzzy, Bullocksnap, the Earless with ears, Westminster, Abbie and the baby are found. Laff appears.)

FUZZY:

What happened to you? We had the tyrant at out mercy, but when you disappeared, his guards nearly caught us. We were barely able to escape.

LAFF:

In moments it will be over. Gumman will know not to remove Hoppy's suit, and she won't die. The universe will be safe again.

EARLESS:

He's spouting rubbish again. WHo is this Hoppy dame you keep yapping about?

LAFF:

It's not important. No to me, anyway... I'm supposed to be dead.

FUZZY:

You've gone mad. Insane. You could be dangerous. Colonel, kill him.

BULLOCKSNAP:

What?

FUZZY:

Do it, Colonel. Laff is unstable. He might betray us to the tyrant.

ABBIE:

Lord Fuzzy is right, Alex. We can't risk having a lunatic on our hands.

BULLOCKSNAP:

Yes. I see.

(Bullocksnap raises his blaster and kills Laff. As Laff dies, the entire scene turns to glass and shatters. Cut to Rufus' ship. Rufus, Yasta and Sasha (who is chained to the wall, unconscious).)

RUFUS:

I hope the witch didn't hurt you too much, Yasta?

YASTA:

I'll live. I don't know why you ever liked her in the first place.

RUFUS:

At least her father has been--

(This scene too turns to glass and shatters. The shards of glass collect at the bottom of the screen and suddenly pull themselves together again, this time showing Bunniquette's room, where we see Bunniquette, Hoppy (in her battlesuit) and Rufus and Yasta (who are still trapped in stone). The glass fades away. Everything is back to normal.)

BUNNIQUETTE:

Oh, Hoppy! There must be some way we can free you from the UBF's mind control. Rufus would be able to do it, but I turned him to stone and I don't know how to use my BFD powers to turn him back.

(Cut to the Malt Shoppe. Fuzzy, Abbie, Chris Rabbo, Lennie.)

FUZZY:

It's good that the UBF doesn't really want to kill Uulamets.

SASHA:

Yes, but they will still be angry with you when they find out that Bunniquette has turned their two best agents to stone.

LENNIE:

Hang on ... it's called the UBF, right? 'United Bunny Fleet'. Rufus and Yasta aren't even bunnies! How did they come to the UBF agents if they're not bunnies?

ABBIE:

Did you ever notice that you're a chainsaw?

LENNIE:

Well, uh, yes.

ABBIE:

Well, you've been working for the UBF since the moment you set foot - or whatever - aboard the Insectblanket. And, as we have just established, you are not a bunny either.

LENNIE:

Shut up.

FUZZY:

Let's change the subject. So... um... Chris, I hear you're engaged.

CHRIS RABBO:

Really? Me too!

FUZZY:

Hhhhhhh...

(Gumman's surgery. He is talking to Mal (who is no longer in his battlesuit).)

GUMMAN:

So, Mal, what seems to be the problem? 'Oh, Doctor Gumman, it's awful. I done been turned into a mindless slave. I can't think for myself, and I can't talk. I only do what Rufus and Yasta tell me, and since they've been turned to stone, that roughly equates with “nothing”.' Oh really? I'm very sorry, Mal, but I've tried everything I can think of, and I can't free you from Rufus' influence. 'Oh, poo.'

(To the bridge. Fuzzy and Westminster. Westminster is looking through an old cardboard box full of junk. He pulls out a video.)

FUZZY:

What's that?

WESTMINSTER:

Well, whatta ya know? It's that tape we lost! The first episode that Hoppy and Bunniquette did. Remember back at the beginning of season one, we filmed the first episode, and then half of the second one? But we lost the tape and the scripts for episode two, so we had to film episode one again, and completely rewrite episode two?

FUZZY:

Uh... yeah?

WESTMINSTER:

This is it! The missing episode!

FUZZY:

Hey, wow! Put it in the machine, and let's watch it.

(Westminster puts the tape into the VCR and presses play. This is...)

The FUZZY BUNNY Show: The Lost Episode.

'The Attack of the Cultural Elite')

(The bridge of the Insectblanket. Bunniquette is seated. Gumman, wearing a beret, sits opposite her.)

BUNNIQUETTE:

Welcome to 'The Highly Cultural Foreign Movie Reviewing Show'. I'm your host, Bunniquette O'Bunbun. Tonight our guest is Monsieur Willits Le Gumman, director of the new French film, 'Le Gendarme Avec Le Grande Poisson'. Tell me, Mister Gumman, what are the major themes behind this new movie?

GUMMAN:

Le tragic futility of human life. Le absolute worthlessness of the human condition and form.

BUNNIQUETTE:

Just lucky we're rabbits, eh?

GUMMAN:

I don't think you're taking this seriously.

BUNNIQUETTE:

Well, come on! I joined the cast of this show because Fuzzy said it was a serious space opera. That's what Hoppy and I are used to. And here I am pretending to host some stupid foreign movie show thing.

GUMMAN:

You do realise you've ruined this entire sketch?

BUNNIQUETTE:

Stick it up your--

(Cut to a commercial: Abbie and Westminster are in an art gallery. They stop at a certain painting.)

ABBIE:

I like this one. It's a very cultural painting.

WESTMINSTER:

You call that a painting? A five year old could do better.

ABBIE:

Yes, but this is culture.

LAFF(VO):

'Johnson's Art Galleries. For people who like Culture.'

(Enter Fuzzy.)

FUZZY:

What a load of rubbish.

(Cut to a corridor somewhere inside the ship. Hoppy, Earless, and Bullocksnap, all in spacesuits.)

HOPPY LASHES:

Are you sure the hostile alien came this way?

EARLESS:

Of course. Devious blighters, these aliens.

HOPPY LASHES:

You've dealt with these aliens before?

EARLESS:

Certainly. How do you think I lost my ears?

HOPPY LASHES:

Well, I...

BULLOCKSNAP:

Don't get him started.

(Laff enters.)

LAFF:

Boo! Grr! Snarl! I'm a mean ol' alien!

HOPPY LASHES:

That's the alien? But that's just Laff. He's a friend of Fuzzy's.

EARLESS:

He's still an alien.

HOPPY LASHES:

This show is a farce.

BULLOCKSNAP:

You can't say that word on TV!

HOPPY LASHES:

I said 'farce'! 'Farce'!

LAFF:

What?

HOPPY LASHES:

'Farce'! 'Farce'!

LAFF:

I'm going as fast as I can!

HOPPY LASHES:

I give up. 'Quette! C'mon! We're leaving.

(Bunniquette enters, in a hurry.)

BUNNIQUETTE:

Get me away from Willits Gumman!

(We zoom out to see the scene on a monitor on the Bridge of the Sea Kidney. Westminster and Fuzzy are watching it. Westminster turns it off.)

FUZZY:

Gee, that was a long time ago.

WESTMINSTER:

Yeah... before Laff died.

FUZZY:

And Hoppy could speak!

WESTMINSTER:

And Willits Gumman was a pain in the tail.

FUZZY:

He still is.

WESTMINSTER:

Oh, yeah. Maybe things haven't changed that much, then.

FUZZY:

It was even before we met Sasha and her Dad. And Chris.

WESTMINSTER:

I suppose everything's turned out for the best.

FUZZY:

Maybe.

(The credits roll.)