| SEASON THREE, EPISODE NINE | |
| THE LAST OF THE NUNKLONS | |
| (The bridge of the Insectblanket. Fuzzy and Sasha are still chained to the wall. Fuzzy is struggling to break free.) | |
| SASHA: | Keep trying, Fuzzy. |
| (Cut to Gumman’s surgery. Gumman, Pirica, Abbie, Westminster, Earless, and four unconscious bad guys, securely bound: two gun-bunnies and the Stab-Stabs. The good guys are all armed to the teeth, having raided their enemies’ pockets.) | |
| PIRICA: | Let’s go. |
| WESTMINSTER: | But there’s hundreds of gun-bunnies out there! |
| PIRICA: | Pretend you’re going bowling... try to hit ten at a time. |
| (Cut to the Bridge of the Sea Kidney. Anastasia, Rabbo, about fifty gun bunnies.) | |
| ANASTASIA: | Be quiet! Stop talking! Shut up! |
| RABBO: | Nobody stole your diamonds. She looks like an ostrich! James Watt? He invented the steam engine. Children – where? No, I was born in a hospital. Get that basketball team out of my way! “Wanker, wanker, Tomas is a wanker—” |
| ANASTASIA: | Shut up! Shut up or I’ll have you killed! |
| RABBO: | Tom is no a Virgo. Mee, mee, mee, mee! Stripy socks and a bucket on my head! ‘Oh, there are chickens in the trees, there are chickens in the—” |
| ANASTASIA: | Guards! Kill him! |
| (Several of them try. It doesn’t work.) | |
| RABBO: | You can’t kill me. I’m a force of nature! |
| (Cut to the Malt Shoppe. Bunniquette and Uulamets are there, being carefully supervised by quite a lot of gun-bunnies.) | |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | What are we gonna do, Ted? It’s hopeless. This time we’re really done for. |
| UULAMETS: | Maybe not. Do you know where we are? |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | The Malt Shoppe. |
| UULAMETS: | No, I mean the ship! |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | What are you talking about? |
| UULAMETS: | I just sensed incredible cosmic vibrations! Do you know what this means? |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | You’re a sad, pathetic, lonely old man? |
| UULAMETS: | No! It means that the Sea Kidney has just entered the Nerpalon System! |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | So? |
| UULAMETS: | I rule this part of the galaxy by divine right. As long as we’re in this star system, none may defy me! |
| (He raises a hand and suddenly all the gun-bunnies are tied up and helpless.) | |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | How’d you do that? Anastasia said she buggered your magic. |
| UULAMETS: | Haven’t you been listening? I didn’t use my magic, I used my Divine Right. I am King here! |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | So let’s get the hell outta here and beat up that bitch! |
| (Back to Fuzzy and Sasha. Fuzzy is still straining to free himself, and his face has gone bright red.) | |
| SASHA: | You can do it, Fuzzy! I believe in you! |
| (Fuzzy does it. His chains rip free from the wall and he says:) | |
| FUZZY: | I’ll come back and get you as soon as it’s safe! |
| (before racing out, chains still hanging from his wrists. Cut to Gumman and his small band of freedom fighters. They are cautiously stalking down a long, bare corridor. Suddenly they encounter a group of gun-bunnies.) | |
| PICIRA: | Die, you idiot gun-bunny scum! |
| (Pirica shoots every one of them before they can act.) | |
| GUMMAN: | Nice shootin’, Ric. |
| (Cut to the tennis court. Hoppy, Laff, Lennie, Ralph and Tessa are tied to the net. The Easter Bunny is standing nearby.) | |
| HOPPY: | Well, I don’t see how we’re going to escape from this one. |
| LAFF: | And just after I came back from the dead, too. What a waste of good back-from-the-deadness. |
| (Cut to the Sea Kidney’s bridge. Rabbo is being shot at by dozens of gun-bunnies now, but doesn’t even seem to notice. Anastasia looks rather worried.) | |
| RABBO: | How many ducks does it take to bite a woodchuck? |
| ANASTASIA: | What? Shut up! |
| RABBO: | Answer me! |
| ANASTASIA: | I don’t know! I don’t know! |
| RABBO: | Ha, ha! You got slimed! |
| ANASTASIA: | Help! Somebody make him shut up! Please! |
| (Fuzzy bursts in.) | |
| FUZZY: | you’re the only one who’ll shut up, Anastasia! I’m here to save the day! |
| (Uulamets and Bunniquette rush in behind Fuzzy.) | |
| UULAMETS: | No. We’re here to save the day. |
| (Gumman, Pirica, Abbie, Westminster and Earless run in.) | |
| GUMMAN: | We’ll save the day. We’re the ones with weapons. |
| UULAMETS: | Weapons? Who cares? I’ve got Divine Right. |
| FUZZY: | Well I’ve got chains tied to my wrists. How’s that? |
| ANASTASIA: | Gun-bunnies! Kill them all! |
| UULAMETS: | Push off. |
| (He uses his Divine Right to tie up about a third of the gun-bunnies.) | |
| GUMMAN: | Eat lead, evil-doers! |
| A GUN BUNNY: | No. It’s poisonous. |
| (Gumman and his lot shoot another third of the gun-bunnies.0 | |
| FUZZY: | Victory through Air-Power! |
| (He tries to punch a gun-bunny, but misses. However, the chains on his wrist catch the gun-bunny in the head and it is knocked out. Fuzzy picks up his gun and begins to shoot the rest of the remaining gun-bunnies, with help from Gumman and Co. and Teddy’s Divine Right. Now there are no functioning bad guys on the Bridge except Anastasia, who gulps and backs away from Rabbo and Fuzzy.) | |
| ANASTASIA: | Now, don’t be too hasty in your judgments, people... You may have misinterpreted my actions. |
| UULAMETS: | Either that, or you’re a slimy, no-good, manipulative, stuck-up, slutbitchwhore! Who are you, woman? And no more lies! |
| ANASTASIA: | I’d sooner die than reveal my secrets! |
| RABBO: | Heavens, I wouldn’t let you die! You’re going to spend the rest of your natural life locked up in a very small room with me. |
| ANASTASIA: | Okay! Okay! I’ll talk! |
| (Cut to the tennis courts, as they were before. Bunniquette enters.) | |
| EASTER BUNNY: | Hey! How did you get here? You’re supposed to be under constant surveillance by at least ten gun-bunnies! |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | It’s all right, Robbie. I’m with you and Anna now. |
| HOPPY: | ‘Quette! How could you? |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | I’d like to get to know you better, Robbie. |
| (She puts and arm around him.) | |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | ... that’s better as in “when you get out of hospital” better, I mean. |
| (She knees him someplace. He doubles over, and she slams her fist into his face, before kicking him in the head and pushing him over and jumping up and down on him a few times.) | |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | Right. Just call me “Cavalry”. |
| LAFF: | Thank heavens! |
| (Cut back to the Bridge. Fuzzy, Sasha, Uulamets, Tessa, Lennie, Ralph, Earless, Abbie, Westminster, Gumman, Pirica, Laff. Anastasia is tied to Fuzzy’s seat and the gun-bunnies are gone. Bunniquette and Hoppy enter.) | |
| HOPPY: | Done. The Stab-Stab Brothers, the Easter Bunny and all the Gun-Bunnies have been safely locked away. |
| FUZZY: | Good. Now spill it, Anastasia. Who are you? Where do you come from? Why have you done these things to us? |
| ANASTASIA: | I am ... the last of the Nunklons! |
| PIRICA: | What? |
| WESTMINSTER: | Holy shit! |
| FUZZY: | Then what is your connection to Sasha’s family? |
| ANASTASIA: | ... I killed Sasha’s mother the day Sasha was born and used my body-snatching powers to take her place. I was trying to conquer the Nerpalon System as a gift for the Nunklon Lords. But Uulamets had me exiled! With the Easter Bunny’s help, I escaped from my exile and began to search the universe for Uulamets, planning revenge. During a brief stay on Earth I met Pirica DeBunny at Saint Wafflepop’s, but had to leave to continue my search. Uulamets and his daughter had fled Nerpalon 12, and I was unable to locate them. Until you landed this ship on the Easter Bunny’s planet. |
| FUZZY: | Uulamets, why did you flee Nerpalon 12? |
| UULAMETS: | We did now flee! |
| ANASTASIA: | Then why did you run away? |
| UULAMETS: | Long-service leave. I’m simply on holiday. |
| FUZZY: | Fair enough, I suppose. |
| ABBIE: | We’re about to land on Nerpalon 12, Fuzzy. |
| FUZZY: | Good. Anastasia and her minions will be transferred to Grondoglicon, the Fearsome Prison Planet. |
| (The credits roll.) |
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