| SEASON THREE, EPISODE TEN | |
| THE RETURN OF THE KING | |
| (A huge, ornately furnished room. Gold everywhere. At the far end of the room is an enormous throne. Uulamets and Sasha enter, followed by a tall, thin, old-looking bunny in I-Work-For-The-King type clothing. Uulamets and Sasha are dressed as befits a King and Princess. Sasha looks absolutely stunning.) | |
| UULAMETS: | You’ve kept the place running well, Rabbitskovic. |
| TALL THIN OLD BUNNY: | Thank you, sir. I’ve done my best. It’s wonderful to have you back. You’re still permitted twelve years of leave yet. We didn’t expect you to return so soon. |
| UULAMETS: | We’re not staying. We were just passing and decided to pay you a visit whiled we had Anastasia sent to prison. |
| SASHA: | Oh, father! The palace is just as I remembered it! I have so missed you, Regent Rabbitskovic. |
| RABBITSKOVIC: | You’ve grown into a lovely young woman, Princess. |
| SASHA: | Why, thank you! |
| RABBITSKOVIC: | Travelling with that young UBF fellow seems to have done wonders for your health. When you left here, you were terribly sick. |
| SASHA: | I saw an extremely good doctor on a little planet called Earth. We went to this country called Russia to see this doctor, and that’s where we met Fuzzy and the others. |
| RABBITSKOVIC: | There were times your father and I didn’t think you’d make it through the night, you were so sick. |
| UULAMETS: | All that’s behind us now. You may call for the others, Rabbitskovic. |
| (Rabbitskovic, the tall, thin, old bunny, claps his hands and the doors at the end of the room swing open, revealing Fuzzy, Abbie, Westminster, Earless, Tessa, Lennie, Ralph, Gumman, Pirica, Hoppy, Laff, Bunniquette and Rabbo. They are all dressed in We’re-On-Good-Terms-With-The-Princess clothes. Fuzzy rushes forward to embrace Sasha.) | |
| SASHA: | Regent Rabbitskovic, I would like to introduce you to my Consort, Fuzzy Bunny. |
| RABBITSKOVIC: | It’s a pleasure to meet you, sir. |
| FUZZY: | Please, call me Fuzzy. |
| RABBITSKOVIC: | You must be a very proud bunny, to have captured the heart of Princess Sasha. |
| FUZZY: | Very lucky, is the way I see it. She’s a wonderful bunny. |
| SASHA: | Not as wonderful as you, Fuzzy. |
| UULAMETS: | Oh, stop that sentimental rubbish. Young bunnies in love. Bah. |
| RABBITSKOVIC: | You must admit though, your highness, that young Fuzzy has potential. |
| UULAMETS: | He’d better have. He’ll be ruling this whole star system one day. |
| FUZZY: | What? |
| UULAMETS: | Well, at this rate, you and my daughter will certainly be getting married eventually, which will make you the Prince. When I die, pow. You’re King. |
| FUZZY: | But— |
| UULAMETS: | And if you run out on my daughter the way you did on Pirica... look out. No planet in the multiverse will be safe for you. |
| FUZZY: | I wish you people would stop this! I was young and stupid then! I am not going to desert Sasha like I did when I ran away from Pirica just hours before we were due to be married. |
| PIRICA: | You’d better not. Sasha deserves a worthy husband. |
| FUZZY: | Can we talk about something else? The, uh, weather’s nice this time of year. |
| HOPPY: | Nice try. |
| (Eight of Uulamets’ Royal Soldiers enter, escorting the securely bound Anastasia, Easter Bunny, and Stab-Stabs.) | |
| RABBITSKOVIC: | Ah, the prisoners. Any last words? |
| ANASTASIA: | A curse upon the Uulamets dynasty! |
| EASTER BUNNY: | Long live Duchess Anastasia! |
| POMMEL: | I demand that you set my brother and I free. We had nothing to do with this. We were innocent victims of Anastasia Sarossy-Mammalworth. |
| PUMMEL: | Don’t kill us! We’re too stupid to die! |
| UULAMETS: | Very good, guards. You may take them to the transport bay now. Send them straight to Grondoglicon. Warden Ichorpuss will see that they are punished. |
| GUARD: | Yes, Your Highness. |
| (The guards drag the bad guys out. We hear Anastasia yell:) | |
| ANASTASIA: | You’ll pay for this! All of you! Especially you, DeBunny! |
| (before they’re gone.) | |
| PIRICA: | She’s a nasty piece for work. |
| FUZZY: | I’m sorry I didn’t listen when you warned me about her, Ric. |
| PIRICA: | Don’t be. How were you to know she was a bloody Nunklon? |
| RABBITSKOVIC: | Oh, dear! You had trouble with the Nunklons? |
| UULAMETS: | You know of them? |
| RABBITSKOVIC: | Shortly after you left they began to send small invasion fleets to assess our capabilities. They tried to conquer the planet but our defences were too great. |
| UULAMETS: | I imagine you’ve heard that the UBF destroyed their homeworld. That one, the one who claimed to be my wife – and my daughter – was the last of the race. And good riddance, I say. |
| RABBITSKOVIC: | A terrible business. Shall I have the servants prepare lunch? |
| (Cut to the Palace Gardens after lunch. Hoppy and Bunniquette are strolling along.) | |
| HOPPY: | Our lives are perfect now, ‘Quette. No Rufus, no Yasta, no evil Nunklon UBF takeover, no Anastasia, no nine children, no terrible alien disease... and no Bunny Fun Legacy. And it must be nice for you to visit Nerpalon 12... the planet where you were raised. |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | It’s nothing special. I never saw any of the planet or knew anything about its people. I was never allowed to leave the confines of the UBF base until you arrived. Then they fixed you up with Mal and the Neb, and sent the three of us off together to fight injustice and cause trouble for naughty people. |
| HOPPY: | And to think they told me that you were the Princess! Boy, did I ever get a shock when we found out about Sasha! |
| BUNIQUETTE: | And the Nunklons closed the UBF base to relocate their entire empire to Ubunnia. They even went to the trouble of blowing the base up. In case their enemies might get in and somehow access their secret files or something. Anastasia told Uulamets. So I can’t even visit my home. |
| HOPPY: | You have a new home now. We all do. The Sea Kidney is our home. |
| (Cut to Rabbitskovic’s office. He has an enormous desk which is piled high with paperwork. Rabbitskovic, Uulamets, Sasha, Fuzzy.) | |
| UULAMETS: | ... and Bunniquette O’Bunbun, who was raised here, back when the UBF base was still around, seems quite distraught that she’s come back to what ought to be her home planet, but the only part of it that she ever saw in her entire life has been destroyed. |
| RABBITSKOVIC: | The Nunklon Wars have destroyed the homes of many Nerps. Mainly on the outer planets, like Nerpalon 18 and Loodletoss Major. Those were the two planets most effected by the attacks of the Nunklon Empire. |
| (Rabbo bursts in.) | |
| RABBO: | Hi there. Hate to interrupt, but I just got a phonecall from an easily-distressed Virgo. She requested that you people stop talking about such serious matters and have a bit of fun. So here I am. |
| RABBITSKOVIC: | This is the one from Ubunnia, who has a walrus, yes? |
| UULAMETS: | Yes. Tell the Regent what he walrus’s name is, Christopher. |
| RABBO: | Well, golly, you know, I just can’t remember. But never mind that. Let’s play a game. Who am I? |
| (He pulls his ears down behind his head, whacks on a false moustache, and says in a funny voice:) | |
| RABBO: | “How d’you think I lost my ears?” |
| FUZZY, SASHA, TED: | Earless. |
| (Rabbo puts on a purple dress and wig and says:) | |
| RABBO: | “Have a glass of champagne, Fuzzy. Gosh you’re cute, Rabbo.” |
| FUZZY, SASHA, TED: | Anastasia. |
| (Rabbo jumps into a ninja costume and says:) | |
| RABBO: | “I’m braindead.” |
| FUZZY, SASHA, TED: | Either of the Stab-Stab Brothers. |
| (Rabbo throws down his disguises and mutters:) | |
| RABBO: | Hmmph. This is no fun. I’d rather be in jail with Anastasia than playing “Guess Which idiot Bunny I’m Pretending To Be” with you lot. |
| UULAMETS: | You’ll soon be in jail with her if you don’t get out of here and let us finish our business. |
| RABBO: | Yes sir, Mister Cranky King-face! |
| (Rabbo exits huffily.) | |
| RABBITSKOVIC: | Well, it was nice to se you again, your Majesty, but I understand that you want to continueyour holiday. You needn’t worry about the Nerpalomn System while you’re away, either. I’ll take good care of everything. |
| UULAMETS: | I know you will, Rabbitskovic. Now say goodbye to Regent Rabbitskovic, Sasha. The Sea Kidney is scheduled to take off in exactly ten minutes. |
| SASHA: | Farewell, Rabbitskovic. |
| RABBITSKOVIC: | Look after yourself, Princess. |
| FUZZY: | Bye, Mister R. |
| (Cut to the Bridge of the Sea Kidney. Fizzy and Crew have left Nerpalon 12. Fuzzy, Sasha, Gumman, Pirica.) | |
| GUMMAN: | It was a nice planet. |
| PIRICA: | Where do we go from here, Fuzz? |
| FUZZY: | I have no idea. |
| (The credits roll.) |
Next Episode
Previous Episode
Season Three
Fuzzy Bunny Show Home