EPISODE THREE
THE GRONDOGLICON LINK
(Queen Sashaís throne room in Palace Uulamets on Nerpalon 12. Sasha is seated on her throne. Hoppy, Lasher, Dif, Finch and Skend are kneeling before her.)
HOPPY:...and then Warden Ichorpuss lent us a starship and we came straight here. Your daughter is in terrible trouble!
SASHA:Itís remarkable.
HOPPY:Pardon?
SASHA:You. Hoppy ďSorensenĒ, did you say your name was? And your sister, Lasher. You both look exactly like Hoppy.
HOPPY:I... I am Hoppy, Your Highness.
SASHA:No. I mean Hoppy Lashes VIII.
LASHER:Itís this BFD stuff again! Weird!
SASHA:Unfortunately, Hoppy Lashes is off-world on a UBF assignment right now, or else you could meet her. It seems obvious that you two Sorensen girls are actually two of her nine missing children.
THE SORENSENS:What? What are you talking about?
DIF:Grzshfik said that all of us were the missing children of Hoppy Lashes VIII! This is really bizarre!
SASHA:Thereís more of you?
FINCH:Back on Earth. Four more of us. Nancy Morrison, Glock Spielberg, that half-Nunklon Oonf, and Ferdie.
SASHA:Ferdie?
FINCH:Mal John Tom Chris Ferdinand Bunny.
SASHA:Oh, my. It is you! Hoppyís children! The Last BFDs!
HOPPY:This chick is bonkers.
(Cut to Anastasiaís control room. Glock (still working on the radio), and Goatee. Anastasia enters.)
GOATEE:Where have you been?
ANASTASIA:Outside keeping watch. Every day the Nunklon patrols come closer to my little home. I have to be careful, so every morning I go outside with a photon bazooka and discourage them from entering this district of the city by blowing them up.
GOATEE:I... see. Do you know where Nancy is?
ANASTASIA:The nice girl? No. Havenít seen her. Why?
GOATEE:She... seems... to be missing.
ANASTASIA:Oh. I hope she hasnít wandered off and been caught by Grzshfik and his minions.
GOATEE:I donít think thatís likely. Sheís very powerful. She can take care of herself.
ANASTASIA:Well, then you neednít worry.
GOATEE:No, I suppose not. Anyway... I think Iíll go and talk to Oonf and Ferdie.
(Cut to the tank. Ferdie, Oonf and Goatee.)
GOATEE:...and Iím quite concerned.
OONF:Perhaps you could use your magic to locate her?
GOATEE:Yes... yes, thatís a good idea.
(Goateeís eyes begin to glow with a bright pink light. Suddenly the pink flashes blue, and Goatee experiences
(FLASHBACK: For a split second we see a shot of Sasha (all blue, due to one of Yastaís TCFGs) carrying the baby Goatee through the palace nearly eighteen years ago, during the King Fuzzy trilogy.)
OONF:Goat? Are you all right? What did you see?
GOATEE:I canít find Nancy. But I felt an area of... of magicklessness! A pocket of blue! Yasta! It was one of Yastaís TCFGs! Someone has used a TCFG to inhibit Nancyís powers!
FERDIE:Can you take us there?
GOATEE:Yes. I can track the blueness that has enveloped her! Sheís nearby!
(Cut to BB and Nancy, still tied up in the dark room. The door bursts open in a shower of flames and Ferdie, Goatee and Oonf rush in.)
FERDIE:Nancy!
GOATEE:Bó Baik-baik? Baik-baik! Itís Baik-baik!
(They quickly untie and de-gag the two prisoners.)
GOATEE:BB! What are you doing here?
BAIK-BAIK:That bitch Anastasia captured me when I came to Earth looking for you! Ever since you went missing, Iíve been frantic!
GOATEE:I was kidnapped by Grzshfik and brought here to Ubunnia.Glockís band of rebels rescued me and weíve been on the run from the Nunklons ever since.
NANCY:Iím so sorry, Goatee! I was positive that we could trust the Quintessa, but she betrayed me and locked me up. I donít think she likes me much.
GOATEE:Good for you!
(Goatee raises her left hand, which begins to glow. Cut to the control room. Glock is still trying to fix the radio, and Anastasia is there. She is holding a small electronic device in her hand. A large blue light on the device is lit. The light explodes in a tiny shower of blue plastic as the small globe shatters.)
ANASTASIA:My last TCFG! What the hell?
(Back to Goatee, Nancy, BB, Oonf and Ferdie. Nancy returns to her normal colouring.)
GOATEE:There. My magic took care of the TCFG.
NANCY:Thanks!
(A ribbon of pink energy erupts fromNancyís forehead. Cut back to Anastasia and Glock. Suddenly the pink light from Nancyís head encircles Anastasiaís.)
ANASTASIA:What--? Hey! Morrison?! Get out of my mind, you little tramp!
(Telepathically, we hear Nancy say:)
NANCYíS VOICE:You treacherous, nasty, treacherous, nasty, treacherous... nasty! You will suffer for your crimes against Princess Goat!
ANASTASIA:In a pigís eye, I will! Now get out of my head or Spielberg gets it!
(Anastasia produces her photon bazooka and aims it at Glock, who is shocked.)
GLOCK:Now just a second, babe. Ió
NANCYíS VOICE:Stupid Nunklon! You donít realise the extent of my power, Quintessa. As long as you are caught within my telepathic grip, you are helpless! Incapable of acting against me!
ANASTASIA:Oh, bugger! I canít move my trigger finger!
NANCYíS VOICE:Youíre Rufussed, cow!
GLOCK:Iím not fond of people who point guns at me.
(Glock fires off a quick Glockblast at the bazooka, which is utterly destroyed. Anastasia is lucky not to lose several fingers.)
GLOCK:Stupid Quintessa Bunnyon.
(Nancy, Goatee, BB, Oonf and Ferdie enter.)
GOATEE:I knew youíd double-cross us, Sarossy-Mammalworth.
ANASTASIA:Oh, stop calling me that, you brainless baby!
(Nancy glares angrily at Anastasia, who suddenly clutches at her head in pain.)
NANCY:A little respect for the Princess!
ANASTASIA:All right! All right! Fine! Just make the pain stop!
NANCY:Very well. Glock, see that she is carrying no more weapons, and tie her up.
(Cut to Sashaís throne room. The Queen is still talking to the five rebels.)
HOPPY:So... thatís the story, eh? The story of Bunny Fun and the Great Zucchini. And thatís why we have these powers?
SASHA:Yes. And because the Legacy ended shortly after your conception, you are the last to have the BFD powers.
DIF:So... weíre all siblings? Me, Hoppy, Lasher, Oonf, Glock, Nancy, Skend, Ferdie and Finch?
SASHA:Yes. Youíre all closely related, but the Telebortion pill that Hoppy Lashes took sent you off to different parents. Itís an alarming coincidence that you all met up.
FINCH:I donít think itís a coincidence at all! I think itís fate!
SASHA:Could be.
(Cut to the small, dark room. Anastasia is bound and gagged. In the control room we find the five rebels.)
NANCY:Thanks for rescuing us, gang.
BAIK-BAIK:Yes! Iím so glad youíre safe, Goatee!
GOATEE:Iím just happy that weíve taken care of the ďQuintessa BunnyonĒ.
GLOCK:I wonder if the others ever found the Grondoglicon Link?
NANCY:Iíll scan for them and see.
(Nancy throws a telepathic net over the city searching for Dif, Finch, Skend, Hoppy and Lasher.)
NANCY:I... donít sense them. Wherever they are, theyíre not in Fleeton any more!
FERDIE:Then they must have found the Link and made it to the Nerpalon System! Earth will be saved!
BAIK-BAIK:Yay! Now letís follow them.
GLOCK:To Grondoglicon? But we donít know where the teleporter station is.
BAIK-BAIK:We donít need to. I have a starship.
GOATEE:The Tonsilcrash?
BAIK-BAIK:Yep. We can fly back to Nerpalon 12 immediately!
OONF:Wonderful.
NANCY:Thatís great!
GLOCK:Iíll go get the hoverbikes and the tank.
(Glock exits. Oonf goes with him.)
GOATEE:But... the Nunklons will surely detect us taking off and try to shoot us down.
BAIK-BAIK:Thatís a risk Iím willing to take. Besides, for all we know, Bullocksnapís got a whole armada on the way to take care of the Nunks. So donít panic. Everything will be fine.
GOATEE:What do we do about Anastasia?
BAIK-BAIK:Donít know. Either we leave her here to rot, or we take her to Grondoglicon and make sure she stays there.
GOATEE:Um...
GOATEE & BB:...yeah, let her rot.
(THE END)

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