| SEASON SIX EPISODE TEN | |
| GODHEAD part three | |
| (Anastasia and friends, as we left them: surrounded by giant alligators with laser rifles.) | |
| ALBERTO: | How we get out of dis one, Quint? |
| ANASTASIA: | I'll get back to you on that. |
| MAC: | Well ... they haven't shot us yet. They're just standing there like brainless idiots. |
| ANASTASIA: | Oh, yeah, insult them. |
| MAC: | You must admit, the fact that they haven't killed us is rather encouraging. |
| ANASTASIA: | I'd be more encouraged if they weren't still pointing their guns at us. |
| (A beautiful bunny with short golden hair appears.) | |
| BUNNY: | Ah, you're here! Hi! |
| MAC: | Hi. What can we do for you? |
| BUNNY: | My name's Shandrilak. I see you've met my little girls. |
| ALBERTO: | If you be meanin' de nasties wit' de guns, den yes. |
| SHANDRILAK: | You can go now, children. |
| (The reptiles vanish.) | |
| ANASTASIA: | So, lizard-girl, who the heck are you, and what are you doing here? |
| SHANDRILAK: | Why, I'm the Bunny Goddess of Lust, Pineapples, Picnic Blankets, Large Reptiles, Anything Pink, and Trees That Have Squirrels In Them! My good friends Lucky and Bunniquette sent me to find you! |
| ANASTASIA: | Oh, thank heck. They found that "Nippy" then, did they? |
| SHANDRILAK: | Oh, no! Nippy? They asked about her, but ... we haven't seen Nippy in centuries! Not even Aracus knows where she is! |
| ANNA, MAC, THE FOX: | Brilliant. |
| ANASTASIA: | Then we're scuppered. We'd might as well give up. |
| SHANDRILAK: | Oh, you must never give up hope! |
| ANASTASIA: | But they said that the only force in the universe powerful enough to track the Godhead while it's cloaking itself was Nippy's bond with it! No Nippy, no find Godhead! |
| SHANDRILAK: | While it is true that Nippy's Godhead-bond is the most powerful force in the universe, it is not the only way to pierce the spell of hiding. |
| THE OTHERS: | Oh? |
| SHANDRILAK: | We can use the second most powerful force in the universe. |
| ALBERTO: | And what might dat be, cherie? |
| SHANDRILAK: | Bribing the scriptwriters! |
| (Cut to the story conference, as seen in "The Making Of The Fuzzy Bunny Show". Tim and Leila.) | |
| TIM: | Hey, L, somebody just sent us five thousand dollars! |
| LEILA: | What? Who's it from? |
| TIM: | I don't know ... oh, there's a note attached ... |
| (Back to the Space Station.) | |
| SHANDRILAK: | Any minute now. |
| (Cut to Zaire's ship:) | |
| ZAIRE: | Blast! Something's gone wrong! The cloaking spell is failing! |
| (To the Space Station again.) | |
| MAC: | We've locked on to Zaire's co-ordinates, Duchess. |
| ANASTASIA: | Tremendous job, Shandrilak. Mac, can you set the Space Station's transmat booth to teleport us into Zaire's ship? |
| MAC: | No sweat, Anna. |
| ALBERTO: | We gon' kick us some rhino tail, non? |
| ANASTASIA: | Oui! Um ... I mean, yes! Stupid Cajun ... |
| SHANDRILAK: | I've done what I came for! I must return to the Fancy-Looking Citadel and join the search for Nippy. |
| MAC: | But we don't need her any more! |
| SHANDRILAK: | No ... but Aracus still wishes to divine her whereabouts. Good luck with Cameroon Congo Zaire. |
| ANASTASIA: | Hold it! What's to stop him frying us with that diamond thing as soon as he sees us? |
| SHANDRILAK: | Good point, little mortal bunny friend. Here, take these. |
| (Four small pink pineapple-shaped amulets appear in her hand. She gives one to Anna, Mac, Alberto, and the HNM.) | |
| SHANDRILAK: | These will protect you from the Godhead Diamond's powers, but only for a short time. You must retrieve it quickly. |
| ALBERTO: | T'anks, petit. We gon' do you God peoples proud. Le''s go, gang! |
| SHANDRILAK: | I will teleport you into the spacecraft of your enemies. |
| ANASTASIA: | How very convenient, I'm sure. |
| (Cut to a thick, dark jungle somewhere. Lucky and Quette trudge along.) | |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | This is ridiculous, big immortal brother-in-law! We've searched dozens of worlds for this Nippy lass, and not a sign! Where can she -- |
| (A cage drops on them. The bars glow with a faint blue light.) | |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | Hah! As if a simple cage will stop us! |
| (Yasta emerges from behind a tree.) | |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | Yasta! I thought you were dead! |
| YASTA: | I was. I've just been temporarily resurrected by the writers, to trap you two in a TCFG-powered cage, and keep you here until the end of the storyline, so that they don't have to worry about writing you into the action ... or whatever passes for action in this show ... which, I believe, begins shortly. |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | Pooh! The writers have deliberately toaster-caked us! |
| LUCKY: | Indeed, this doth bum me out. |
| (Zaire's ship. Zaire, Damnable, Mister Hess. Zaire still holds the Godhead.) | |
| DAMNABLE: | Is everything going according to plan, oh horned hubby of mine? |
| ZAIRE: | Of course! I am the Godheadmaster! Any moment now I will snap out of my current state of don't-do-anything-so-that-the-good-guys-can-have-time-to-stop-me inactivity, and then I will conquer the universe! |
| (Anna, Alberto, Mac, and the HNM appear.) | |
| ALBERTO: | Not so fast, neh, rhino? |
| ZAIRE: | What? Fuzzyites! |
| ANASTASIA: | In your dreams, pal! We're Anastasians! |
| (She glances at the HNM.) | |
| ANASTASIA: | Except him. I don't know what he is. |
| HESS: | Ah, but I do! Howling Nutter Monkey, we meet again! This time you will not succeed! |
| (The HNM scowls at him, and gives him the finger.) | |
| HESS: | Augh! How rude! |
| ZAIRE: | Worry not, Mister Hess! The Godhead will destroy them! Pow! |
| (A slight pause.) | |
| ZAIRE: | Nothing happened. They should be roasted ... but nothing happened. |
| MAC: | Too right, buddy. We are watched over by the Goddess Shandrilak! None may harm us! |
| ZAIRE: | Bugger. |
| ANASTASIA: | Now hand over the diamond, or I sic the Skinny Yelling Weirdo Gorilla on you! |
| MONKEY: | Grr! |
| HESS: | That's "Howling Nutter Monkey", foolish woman! |
| ANASTASIA: | Oh, yeah? And just who are you, old man? The gardener, judging from the colour of your left thumb! |
| HESS: | Mock me not, bunny! I am the last ... of the Nunklons! |
| (Anastasia is, understandably, shocked.) | |
| HESS: | Following the eradication of my race, I underwent plastic surgery, having myself transformed to resemble a normal bunny, so that I would not be persecuted. But the surgery has begun to wear off! |
| ANASTASIA: | Pretty shoddy plastic surgeon, then. And as if you bother with surgery! Any sensible one of us just would have 'snatched a new body! |
| HESS: | What? You are of my kind? |
| ANASTASIA: | I ... am the Quintessa Bunnyon, kid! |
| HESS: | The -- !! The Chosen Deathbringer of the Nunklon Lords! The Grand High Priestess of the Wrinkly Green Assassins' Corporation! The Pretty Nasty Girl With Really Savage Weapons Who's Actually Incredibly Dangerous! The Trained Killer With Lots Of Long, Wordy Titles! All Nunklons held you in awe! |
| ANASTASIA: | Wouldn't have it any other way. |
| HESS: | Except me! I have hated you all my life! Ever since the day you ran down my street once, chasing a criminal, and accidentally kicked over my sandcastle! I have vowed to avenge this misdeed of yours! |
| MONKEY: | So ... he knows you too, eh, Snatch? |
| ANASTASIA: | Don't call me Snatch! And yes, apparently he does! So, how does he know you, ape? |
| HESS: | For years now, I have been the arch-enemy of three UBF agents. On several occasions, I nearly succeeded in terminating them, but every time, the Howling Nutter Monkey would intervene, without their knowledge, and defeat me! Always keeping his presence a secret, the Monkey made me look like a fool in front of my foes, as they assumed that my failures were a result of my own incompetence! |
| ANASTASIA: | I'm weeping. Now give me the stone, rhino. |
| ZAIRE: | Make me. |
| ANASTASIA: | Okay, I will! |
| ALBERTO: | No, you won't, chere. I be the one doin' dat. Alberto t'inks dat he might like to have dat jewel fo' himself! |
| ANASTASIA: | Don't be stupid! You're on my side, you can't betray me! |
| (Zaire suddenly says,) | |
| ZAIRE: | Hey! The Godhead's gone! It just vanished! |
| (It is indeed gone from his grasp.) | |
| ALBERTO: | No, not vanished. Cleverly stolen. |
| (Alberto produces the Godhead Diamond.) | |
| ANASTASIA: | Give it to me or I'll pound you! And don't try anything funny! We're still immune to its effects, remember! |
| ALBERTO: | But dere you're wrong, petit. Alberto stole your amulets just after de rhino boy tried to zap us. Only I be immune now. |
| ANASTASIA: | Oh, great. Well, some ex-crim-turned-neutral you turned out to be! You've betrayed the good guys, as well as half the bad guys, and buggered up the plans of the rest of the bad guys, and -- |
| ALBERTO: | Ssh, petit. The Fox has not betrayed. I jus' answer to a higher aut'ority dan you. |
| ANASTASIA: | Like who? |
| ANASTASIA: | Like Nippy, Goddess of Pii-Yowng! |
| VOICE: | I'll take that! Give me the Diamond, Fox! |
| (Everyone turns to see (!) Fuzzy, Sasha, Abbie, Westminster, Earless, Gumman, Mal, and Laff.It is Fuzzy who spoke.) | |
| ZAIRE: | What the -- you guys are meant to be stone! |
| FUZZY: | I assume that your doings wore off when the Godhead left your hands. |
| ZAIRE: | Impossible! If that were the case, this Nippy would have ceased to exist when the Norman of legend lost the gem. But the thief before us claims to be her follower. |
| ALBERTO: | She do indeed exist. |
| ABBIE: | Then how did we all revert to normal? |
| WESTMINSTER: | And ... how did we get here? |
| MAL: | Oh, golly! It's Mister Hess! |
| FUZZY: | Who? |
| MAL: | Mister Hess! Our arch-enemy from when we were aboard the Neb, before we joined the Insectblanket's crew! He tried to kill me, Hoppy and Quette heaps of times! |
| FUZZY: | Never mind that! You're a Fuzzyite, now! You only have to acknowledge enemies of the Fuzzyites! |
| MAL: | Oh. Okay. He wasn't very good, anyway. |
| HESS: | Grr! |
| FUZZY: | Now, don't interrupt again. Try it from the top, Abbie. |
| ABBIE: | "How did we revert to normal?" |
| WESTMINSTER: | "And how did we get here?" |
| ALBERTO: | De Goddess Nippy did it. Dese villains have angered her, an' she deems you de only bunnies worthy of punishing them. Even de very Gods speak of King Fuzzy wit' awe an' respect. |
| FUZZY: | Aw, shucks ... well, heck, I ... of course they do! |
| SASHA: | But what about the Godhead Diamond? What will you do with it now? |
| ALBERTO: | De Goddess of Pii-Yowng will spirit it away to her secret abode. |
| (He raises the diamond above his head, and it vanishes.) | |
| FUZZY: | Rrrright! Let's bruise us some bad guys! |
| GUMMAN: | Prepare to undergo some improvised surgery, Damnable! |
| DAMNABLE: | You won't triumph, saps! We will -- |
| (Sasha uses her magic to inscribe a large "X" on the floor, underneath Zaire, Hess and Damnable.) | |
| FUZZY: | Say your prayers, evil-doers! |
| ZAIRE: | "Your prayers!" |
| (An anvil lands on Zaire. A safe lands on Damnable. A rubber duckie lands on Hess.) | |
| HESS: | Ha! A pathetic, tiny bath toy won't stop me! |
| (A half-inflated life jacket lands on Hess.) | |
| HESS: | This is ridiculous! You can't hurt me with silly things like this! |
| (An ocean liner lands on Hess.) | |
| HESS: | Mgnurphlemrm! |
| FUZZY: | Heh, heh. |
| ALBERTO: | You have done well, Fuzzyites. De Goddess Nippy t'anks you. Now, I be off. |
| (He vanishes.) | |
| MAC: | The Goddess of Pii-Yowng has teleported him to her hidden sanctuary. How ... uh ... thingy. |
| FUZZY: | Yeah, I'll say. |
| (Credits.) |
Onward to Episode eleven!
Backward to Episode nine!
Back to Season Six!
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