| SEASON SIX EPISODE NINE | |
| GODHEAD part two | |
| (The conference room of the Yoople Five UBF base. Fuzzy, Sasha, Pirica, Anastasia, Mal, Laff, Bunniquette, Abbie, Westminster, Earless, Gumman, Skunky, Muncher, Mac, Jupie, Grovelspit, Jetty, Ralph, Howie, Lennie, Tessa, Lucky, the Howling Nutter Monkey, Gumpity, Bullocksnap, Ghuzzy, Clarice, Alberto, Selene, Malvolio.) | |
| FUZZY: | Thank you all for coming. Special thanks to Mum and Alberto, who have made the trip from the twentieth century to aid us. Now, as some of you know, the reason I've called you all here is that our current arch-enemy, Cameroon Congo Zaire, has obtained the magical Godhead Diamond, with which he is able to do a lot of stuff that we don't want him to do. |
| ANASTASIA: | For example ... ? |
| FUZZY: | Giving Hoppy back the Disease, which Aracus purged from her. |
| LUCKY: | It is imperative that we retrieve this gemstone from his evil clutches. We know that his ship lies within the Nerpalon System. To search the whole system, though, would take decades. We must track him as soon as possible, a task made difficult by the extremely strong cloaking device protecting his ship. Even the magic of myself and mine father, Aracus, cannot locate the ship. |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | However, we do have one ace up our sleeves: the Unstoppable Goddess of Pii-Yowng, Nippy, who was created by the Godhead Diamond the last time it fell into the hands of a mortal. As a "child" of the jewel, Nippy is linked to it by a bond stronger than any force in the universe. It is Lucky's hope to contact Nippy and persuade her to aid us in our search. To this end, Lucky and I will travel now to the Fancy-Looking Citadel, high atop ancient Mount Numnum, the current home of the Bunny Gods. |
| PIRICA: | Good luck, Bunniquette. |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | Let's go, L. |
| LUCKY: | Verily, little mortal sister-in-law. |
| (Lucky swings his magic screwdriver, Doris, opening a portal to the Fancy-Looking Citadel. He and Bunniquette step through. The portal closes.) | |
| GUMPITY: | Boy, I sure hope this Nippy goddess can help us! |
| (Cut to the bridge of Zaire's ship. Zaire, Damnable, Mister Hess, a few other rhinos. Zaire is holding the Godhead Diamond.) | |
| ZAIRE: | You have done well, Mister Hess. The information you gave me did as you promised: it led my troops to the location of the fabled Godhead Diamond. And now, as my second act of power, I wish that all of the Fuzzyites on Yoople Five be turned to stone! |
| (Cut back to the conference room.) | |
| FUZZY: | If Zaire is allowed to -- |
| (Everyone except Anastasia, Mac, Jupie, Grovelspit, The Howling Nutter Monkey, Clarice, and Alberto turns into stone.) | |
| MAC: | What the -- ?! |
| ANASTASIA: | The writers of this show seem to have some preoccupation with turning characters to stone in order to keep them out of the way. |
| GROVELSPIT: | But why weren't we seven effected? |
| CLARICE: | Well, who knows? But my guess is ... we're not Fuzzyites! |
| (Back to the rhino ship:) | |
| ZAIRE: | Now there is no one to stand in my way! The entire multiverse will be mine! |
| (Yoople 5:) | |
| MAC: | So ... you think the rhino guy has used this diamond thing to cast a spell on them. |
| CLARICE: | I'd say so. |
| ANASTASIA: | Ah, and you suspect that his incantation targeted "Fuzzyites" specifically? |
| CLARICE: | This is the feeling I have. |
| ANASTASIA: | Thank heck I was lying all those times I said I'd turned into a Fuzzyite! Long live the Anastasians! |
| CLARICE: | Yes. And Alberto and I are just visiting, and certainly don't count as "Fuzzyites". As for that sour-faced ape over there ... well, who knows where his loyalties lie? |
| (The Howling Nutter Monkey glares at her savagely.) | |
| ANASTASIA: | And who wants to? |
| (The Howling Nutter Monkey pulls out its banjo, points to it with a nasty look on his face, and then puts it away.) | |
| ALBERTO: | Eloquent little bastard, ain't he? |
| (The HNM glares, and snarls.) | |
| CLARICE: | Well, I guess it's up to us lot to save the universe from this rhino meg-head and his Shiny Trouble Rock. |
| MAC: | I hope Bunniquette and Lucky get back soon! |
| CLARICE: | This would be so much easier to do if my little boy was here. |
| ANASTASIA: | Oyster? Yes, well, he's rather busy back in Hell. |
| CLARICE: | I feel so proud, knowing that my baby has become reigning demon monarch of the realm of Hell. |
| ANASTASIA: | Yes, I know how it feels to be the mother of such a talented and illustrious child. My little Sasha makes such ... a ... good ... What the fuck am I saying? "My little Sasha"? She -- I -- This isn't good. I am not Sasha's mother! I just inhabit the animated corpse of Sasha's mother. There is no way that the feelings and memories of Anastasia Uulamets could possibly be penetrating my mind. It's not possible. That little slip about "my little Sasha" was just ... a stupid mistake brought on by the stress of recent revelations regarding Zaire and the diamond. That's all. |
| CLARICE: | Who are you trying to convince? Shut up and let's get packing. |
| GROVELSPIT: | Are we going on holiday? |
| CLARICE: | No. We're grabbing a whole heap of big guns and blowing the shit out of that rhinoceros moron! |
| (Zaire's ship:) | |
| ZAIRE: | You are indeed an invaluable ally, Mister Hess. No union with Ch'zzi Bloodbunny could ever meet with such success as our alliance with you. |
| HESS: | Yes. With the Fuzzyites destroyed, you can now conquer the whole of reality. |
| DAMNABLE: | I don't think we should relax just yet, boys. In utilising the Godhead Diamond, we have invoked the wrath of the very Gods themselves. Aracus will not rest until we have payed for our crimes. |
| ZAIRE: | We are beyond his reach! The cloaking spell powered by the jewel is proof against even he! |
| DAMNABLE: | Just don't forget the legend of Norman the Not Very Pleasant To Be Near. If the God of Destruction eats me, dear husband, I will not be impressed. |
| ZAIRE: | Positive thinking, Veronica! Nothing can stop us now! |
| (Yoople Five:) | |
| CLARICE: | Everyone armed to the teeth? |
| ANASTASIA: | And then some. Except Jupie and Grovelspit. |
| CLARICE: | Oh? |
| ANASTASIA: | I have decided that they should stay here and wait for Bunniquette and Lucky. When the God and the Botherwife return, Jupie can tell them where we are, and they can join us. |
| CLARICE: | Well ... okay, I guess. That means that the team roster is now just you, me, Mac, the Fox, and the Monkey |
| ANASTASIA: | That's right. Now, are we ready to beam up to the Space Station? |
| CLARICE: | We are. From there, we can begin to search for Zaire, until Lucky shows up with that Pii-Yowng Goddess. |
| MAC: | So! To the transmat booth! |
| MONKEY: | This'll never work. |
| CLARICE: | Whoa! It spoke! |
| ANASTASIA: | It does that sometimes. Ignore it. |
| (The HNM scowls at her. Cut to the control deck of the Space Station, where we find Anna, Clarice, Mac, the HNM, and Alberto the Fox.) | |
| CLARICE: | This place still pisses me off. |
| ANASTASIA: | Watching your eldest son murdering his big sister must have been painful. |
| CLARICE: | Bugger that. She had it coming. It's the memories of that mongrel Killer Possum that bug me. I haven't had a moment's peace since Branch T captured him! |
| ANASTASIA: | Uh ... right. Now, Mac, have you got the computer systems set to search for Zaire's ship? |
| MAC: | Yep. But I don't reckon we'll get through his cloaking. |
| ALBERTO: | Well, we gon' give it a darn good try. |
| MAC: | Whup! Something's just come up on the radar! It's approaching quickly! |
| CLARICE: | So, what is it? |
| MAC: | I don't know! It seems to be some kind of ectoplasmic apparition! |
| ANASTASIA: | A ghost? Showing on the radar? |
| MAC: | It's here! In this room! |
| (The ghost of Teddy Uulamets appears, but only Clarice can see him.) | |
| CLARICE: | Who the heck are you, pal? |
| UULAMETS: | That's no concern of yours, time-hopper. All you need know is that I must send you back to your own time. |
| CLARICE: | What? Why? |
| ALBERTO: | Who is she talkin' to? |
| UULAMETS: | You know how dangerous the Godhead is! But what you don't know is that its only limitation is this: it is not capable of facilitating time travel. If Zaire should capture you, then he could program the Godhead to emulate the abilities of your battlesuit's Time Displacement Core. If that were to happen, then all of Time itself would fall before the might of the Rhino Warlord. |
| CLARICE: | So I'm outta here, is this what you're telling me? |
| UULAMETS: | Yes, indeed. |
| CLARICE: | Oh. |
| (Clarice vanishes.) | |
| UULAMETS: | She fell for it! Fuzzy's mother doesn't even begin to suspect the true reason for my intervention! |
| (Teddy disappears.) | |
| ALBERTO: | Where she t'ink she be goin'? |
| MAC: | She and the ... "ghost" are both gone! |
| ANASTASIA: | Great. Just what we need. Well, it's just the four of us, then. |
| (They're surrounded by large reptiles with big guns.) | |
| ALBERTO: | No. It be jus' de twenty-nine of us. |
| ANASTASIA: | It keeps getting better. |
| (Credits.) |
Onward to Episode ten!
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Back to Season Six!
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