| SEASON SIX EPISODE EIGHT | |
| GODHEAD part one | |
| (The interior of the Dino-Cruiser. Gumpity (preparing for take-off), Fuzzy (a la Pirate King), Sasha (as the sorcerous QOMOTU), Bunniquette, Lucky, and Westminster. Pirica enters.) | |
| PIRICA: | How goes it, Gump? |
| GUMPITY: | Brilliant, oh Admiral of mine! Allow me to introduce to you the galaxy's newest and boldest super-hero outfit ... the Star Bunnies! Pirate King, QOMOTU, Pendant Girl, Lucky, and Nth! |
| (Westminster holds up a bottle of whisky.) | |
| WESTMINSTER: | This gig's gonna be fun. |
| PIRICA: | And Gumpity's briefed you all? |
| FUZZY: | Yes. We're to travel to the planet Somnumax Nine, where a band of Zaire's rhino terrorists are attempting to overthrow the local government and bend the planet's population to the will of the Limbo Queen. |
| SASHA: | When we get there ... we beat the shit out of them! |
| PIRICA: | Boy, have you changed lately! |
| SASHA: | A change that was long overdue! |
| FUZZY: | If you'll excuse us, Pirica, we'd best go. |
| PIRICA: | Right. Good luck. |
| (Pirica waves good bye and leaves.) | |
| FUZZY: | Is all in readiness, Extincto? |
| GUMPITY: | Please, Fuzzy -- uh, I mean, "Pirate King" -- if you guys want silly codenames, fine, but leave me out of it. I just drive the Cruiser. I'm not a member of the team.. |
| SASHA: | I'd be offended if he said that to me, Pirate King. Should I dismember him for you? |
| FUZZY: | No, QOMOTU. Not today. We have business to attend to. |
| GUMPITY: | Okay. Let's get this show into space. |
| (Cut to the drawing room of a large mansion somewhere. A tall, handsome-yet-sinister-looking, middle-aged bunny stands in the centre of the room, looking rather uncomfortable. His left hand is wrapped in bandages. A butler enters.) | |
| BUTLER: | The mistress will see you now, Mister Hess. |
| MR HESS: | Thank you. |
| (The butler exits, and the "mistress" enters. It's Veronica Damnable.) | |
| DAMNABLE: | Ah, Mister Hess. You wish to speak with me? |
| MR HESS: | Yes. I must say, it seems to me that the alliance that you and your husband have formed with the Limbo Queen is not working out. I, too, have a bone to pick with certain of these "Fuzzyites", and I believe that I can offer you more than Ch'zzi Bloodbunny can. |
| DAMNABLE: | You can't be serious?! An aging buffoon like you, claiming to have "more to offer" than the Limbo Queen of Purgatory? Pshaw! |
| MR HESS: | I am not what I seem, Doctor. Do not underestimate me. |
| (Hess raises his left hand, and begins to slowly unwind the bandages that cover it. ) | |
| MR HESS: | The Fuzzyites will pay dearly for their crimes against me! |
| (His left hand is all green and wrinkly, and kinda slimy-looking.) | |
| DAMNABLE: | You should see a doctor about that. |
| (Cut to a ruined city on Somnumax Nine. Several scared-looking citizens, their mayor, and the Star Bunnies.) | |
| MAYOR: | Thank you for coming, Pirate King. |
| FUZZY: | Our pleasure, Mayor. |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | Lead us to these rhino bastards, and we'll flatten 'em. |
| LUCKY: | Verily! No villainous rhinoceros shall stand against the might of Lucky, God of Thunder! |
| MAYOR: | Oh, my! A real god! |
| SASHA: | Two, if you count the mystic necklace that gives Pendant Girl her powers. |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | Keep it quiet, Q. I don't want my no-good hubby getting all the credit. |
| PENDANT: | Weeoop! |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | Same to you, pal. You did something naughty, and you'll have to accept your punishment. If you're good, your daddy might release you some time soon. So shut up and behave! |
| PENDANT: | Peeoo-woop! |
| MAYOR: | We can't express how grateful we are. This tyranny must end! For too long now, these evil minions of Cameroon Congo Zaire have terrorised my people! |
| SASHA: | Really? How long has it been going on? |
| (The Mayor looks at his watch.) | |
| MAYOR: | Oh, nearly half an hour, now. |
| (Sasha thumps him.) | |
| MAYOR: | Ouch! |
| SASHA: | Bad jokes are punishable by thumping. |
| WESTMINSTER: | I'd better keep my mouth shut, then. |
| LUCKY: | Enough witless chatter! We needs must fight these wicked fiends. |
| SASHA: | Yeah! Where are they? We'll beat the living k-chunga out of them! |
| WESTMINSTER: | "Spider-friends, go for it!" |
| (He takes a sip of his whisky, and is instantly transformed into Nth, the Ultimate Bunny Fun Warrior!) | |
| NTH: | Let's crush some skulls! |
| FUZZY: | Cool. Point us in the direction of the bad guys, and we'll see to it that they're defeated promptly. |
| (A Somnumaxian diamond mine, currently base of operations for a band of rhino nasties.Several rhinos are wandering around, doing stuff. The Star Bunnies burst in.) | |
| FUZZY: | Prepare to be toaster-caked, evil guys! |
| RHINO GENERAL: | Hey! It's that Fluffy Bunny kid, and his little pals. |
| FUZZY: | "Fuzzy"! It's "Fuzzy"! But you, foul criminal, can call me ... Pirate King! |
| RHINO GENERAL: | Grown out of "Captain Tricky", have you, Fluffy? |
| FUZZY: | Don't mock the Pirate King! |
| SASHA: | Or I'll rip you to pieces. |
| FUZZY: | And so will I! |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | Me, too! |
| NTH: | Leave me some. |
| LUCKY: | As soon as you people have finished ripping him to pieces, I can resurrect him, and then rip him to pieces again myself. |
| FUZZY: | Sounds cool. |
| RHINO GENERAL: | Not so fast, halo-bunch! I'm not scared of your pet Thunder God! |
| NTH: | You should be! |
| RHINO GENERAL: | Ha! Within a few short days, the universe will be once more rid of those pesky Bunny Gods, but permanently, this time! |
| LUCKY: | What?! Of what speaketh thou? |
| RHINO GENERAL: | You're too late to stop us! We've already obtained the mystical Godhead Diamond, and even as we speak, it is safely in the hands of our master, the Rhino Warlord, aboard a heavily cloaked starship somewhere in the Nerpalon System! Once Lord Zaire has the diamond, he will use it to power Doctor Damnable's machine, and the universe will be ours! |
| SASHA: | I don't know what you're humaning on about, but it won't stop me from thumping you. |
| FUZZY: | Yeah! We -- um ... Lucky? Pendant Girl? |
| (Lucky and Quette are exchanging shocked and terrified glances.) | |
| FUZZY: | What's wrong? |
| LUCKY: | Didst thou not hear the little mortal rhino villain? |
| FUZZY: | Yeah ... so? |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | Cameroon Congo Zaire has the Godhead Diamond! |
| NTH: | Is this a big deal? |
| LUCKY, QUETTE: | Yes! |
| LUCKY: | "Many millennia ago, only about a week and a half after time began, the Heavens gave form to the mighty god Aracus. Aracus was wise and good, and whipped up a little magic spell to people the planets of the universe with bunnies and other things, but not Yaks, because they were whipped up by the Yak God, Yakhovah. However, one wicked bunny happened across a magical gemstone, the most powerful arcane treasure in the entire multiverse. This was the Godhead Diamond. With this jewel, the wicked bunny, who, incidentally, went by the name of Norman the Not Very Pleasant To Be Near, discovered that with the power of the Godhead Diamond, he could manipulate the divine energies radiated by the mighty Aracus. Norman used this newfound ability to enslave the peoples of his world, and caused havoc and destruction and really annoying stuff. Seeing that Norman was naughty, Aracus created nine more Bunny Gods and Goddesses: first, his wife, Tilda, Goddess of Packed Lunches. This union brought forth the God of Thunder, Lucky (me), second in might to only Aracus. Also, as revealed to us recently, another child was born to them: Rabbo, God of Botherance, second in annoyingness to only Alice D'Costa. The other deities created by Aracus were Inin Hibbisha, Goddess of Very Few Inhibitions, and Rowdy, the Really Quite Distressingly Dangerous God of Destruction, and Wanda, the Goddess of Love and Cute Furry Animals, and Dadgum, the God of Blind Fool Ignorance, and Pow-wow, the Eternally Injured God of Not Paying Attention To Things That Are Trying To Kill Him, and, finally, Shandrilak, the Very Well Behaved Goddess of Lust, Pineapples, Picnic Blankets, Large Reptiles, Anything Pink, and Trees That Have Squirrels In Them. Aracus charged these deities with retrieving the Godhead Diamond from Norman and hiding it away, where no mortal would ever find it again. But, seeing Aracus's acts of creation, Norman also created another divine being: Nippy, the Unstoppable Goddess of Pii-Yowng." |
| NTH: | Goddess of what? |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | Don't interrupt! |
| LUCKY: | "A fearsome war began, with all of the Bunny Gods and Goddesses fighting desperately against the Goddess of Pii-Yowng. Alas, she fought them each to a standstill. Eventually, however, the Goddess Wanda was able to persuade Nippy to abandon her wicked ways, and pledge loyalty to Aracus. Nippy wrenched the Godhead Diamond from the hands of Norman, and handed it to Dadgum, telling him to hide it well. Dadgum hid the gem away, and the Gods and Goddesses prayed that they would never hear of it again." |
| FUZZY: | Cool. What happened to Norman? |
| LUCKY: | Rowdy ate him. |
| SASHA: | And what did Dadgum do with the diamond? |
| RHINO GENERAL: | The idiot hid it in a diamond mine! And now, after years of searching, it belongs to Cameroon Congo Zaire! And his first act as holder of the Godhead Diamond has been to restore the fatal, terminal, deadly, lethal, utterly incurable Alien Disease to the body of Hoppy Lashes the Eighth! |
| (Credits.) |
Onward to Episode nine!
Backward to Episode seven!
Back to Season Six!
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