SEASON SIX EPISODE SEVEN
THE FEROCITY OF QOMOTU
(The meadow. Fuzzy and Lucky. Sasha approaches.)
LUCKY: Uh-oh. Better postpone the job for a moment or two. Here cometh thine wife.
SASHA: There you are, Fuzzy. I have to talk to you. About two things.
FUZZY: Um ... yes? What?
SASHA: First of all, I just got a letter from Doberman. Dennis Montalban has accepted little Brittany. Gumpity's taking Baik-baik and the baby there in a few hours.
FUZZY: The Montalban school let her in? That's great!
SASHA: And ... something else has been puzzling me, Fuzzy.
FUZZY: Yeah?
SASHA: After Gumpity found you in space, when you were in the hospital, you sat up, and said that ... my father had spoken to you. Doctor Gumman assured me it was just delirium, but I have to make sure. Fuzzy ... have you seen my father?
FUZZY: Have I -- ? Seen?
SASHA: This is very important, Fuzzy.
FUZZY: Have I seen your father? Sasha, I ... he ... No. No, I haven't, Sash. Gumman was right. It must have been my fever talking.
SASHA: Oh. Well ... I just thought I should check. I'd ... better go and help Baik-baik pack.
(Sasha sadly walks away.)
LUCKY: She doth be a mightily courageous bunny.
FUZZY: Yeah ... I hate to hurt her, but ...
LUCKY: I beg thee, little mortal bunny leader, reconsider thy intentions! Why summon this foreign woman to thy side when thou already hast the fine Sasha?
FUZZY: While I was in the Rock Nest, Lucky, I learned a lot of things about myself. I had no memory of my life in this world. I ... fell in love with Diamonds, and I still am. Breaking up with Sasha pains me deeply, but it's better to end things now than continue to live a lie.
(The camera pans to the left a little, and we see Anastasia standing atop a nearby hill, eavesdropping.)
ANASTASIA: Interesting ...
(Pirica's house - the one she until recently shared with Oyster. Pirica is sitting at her kitchen table, reading a newspaper. Anastasia enters.)
PIRICA: What do you want, Nunklon?
ANASTASIA: I just overheard Fuzzy and Lucky talking. I think you might be interested in what Fuzzy was saying ... seeing as how you know what it's like to have your heart broken by the slimy little weasel-bunny!
PIRICA: What?!
ANASTASIA: I just thought we should try to keep Sasha from getting hurt.
PIRICA: Spill it, Mammalworth! What's going on?
ANASTASIA: Well ... it's like this ...
(Back to Fuzzy and Lucky.)
FUZZY: Begin the ritual, Lucky!
LUCKY: Well ... okay. But it'll take an hour or two to complete.
(Pirica's house: Pirica leaps to her feet, tearing the newspaper in half.)
PIRICA: He what?! I'll kill him! Doesn't he know what that'll do to Sasha? She's not as tough as me! Being rejected by Fuzzy'll shatter her!
ANASTASIA: That's what I figured.
PIRICA: ... and since when do you care?
ANASTASIA: Since ... since ... never you mind! Let's just say that during my time in Hell I discovered a few things about the correct ways to interact with other people. I'm not the bitchy villainess I used to be, DeBunny. I'm a Fuzzyite now, and that means caring about the rest of you. Now let's go see Sasha.
(Anastasia exits. Before following, Pirica says)
PIRICA: Caring -- ? Yeah, sure, you conniving harridan! Still ... I'll have to play along for now.
(Two hours later, after BB, Gumpity and Goatee have left:Ralph's restaurant. Abbie, Westminster, Ralph, Tessa, Skunky, Muncher, Bunniquette, Laff, Mal.)
ABBIE: How's Hoppy, Laff?
LAFF: No change. Mac and Pirica are still working on curing her, but --
(Suddenly weird lights can be seen outside.)
BUNNIQUETTE: What the heck is that?
TESSA: Class Nine AEs!
BUNNIQUETTE: Well, it's not Chris!
NECKLACE: Weeoop!
TESSA: It must be Lucky!
MAL: It looks like it's coming from over the north hill. Let's go!
(Back to Fuzzy and Lucky: a huge hole has formed in the fabric of the time/space continuum. This is where the light is coming from. Abbie, Westminster, Ralph, Howie, Tessa, Earless, Lennie, Gumman, Skunky, Muncher, Bunniquette, Laff, Jetty, Mal, Jupie, and Grovelspit come rushing over the hill to see what's going on.)
EARLESS: What the Dickens are you up to, Bunny?
FUZZY: Silence! Don't break Lucky's concentration! We're nearly through!
PIRICA: Bad luck!
(Fuzzy looks up. Pirica, Anastasia, Sasha and Mac have arrived.)
ANASTASIA: You won't get away with this, Fuzzy. You don't know what you're doing. You haven't recovered from your unprotected exposure to the Landing. We can't let you bring your little girlfriend here.
FUZZY: You -- you dare speak so to the Pirate King?
SASHA: Lucky - close the portal.
LUCKY: But --
SASHA: I am QOMOTU! You will obey!
FUZZY: You're too late! Here they come!
(Within the portal, we see the entire TNG gang.)
BUNNIQUETTE: Who the heck are they?
GLOCK: Diamonds - those people out there - it's --
PRINCESS: Captain Tricky! I knew I'd see him again!
LASHER: Look again, Princess! It's that whole Fuzzyite extended family of yours! But ... they look ... younger ...
FERDIE: Wow! There's our dad!
DIF: Oh, my -- take a closer look at Captain Tricky, Princess!
BB: Of course! I knew I recognised him from somewhere!
PRINCESS: What?
GLOCK: Holy shit! Captain Tricky is your father!
BUNNIQUETTE: They're talking! I wish we could hear what they're saying!
SASHA: Close the portal now, Lucky!
FUZZY: Don't do it, Lucky!
SASHA: Now!
FUZZY: No!
BUNNIQUETTE: Jesus, Lucky, just close the damn thing!
LUCKY: But Fuzzy --
BUNNIQUETTE: Then I'll do it!
(Bunniquette blasts the portal with a whole lot of Rabbo-power from the Ashtray Pendant. The portal closes abruptly.)
FUZZY: No! Diamonds!
(He turns to Sasha.)
FUZZY:This is your fault, witch!
ANASTASIA: You'll thank us later, Fuzzy.
FUZZY: Keep out of this, Quintessa! This is between me and QOMOTU!
SASHA: I won't let you hurt me, Fuzzy! Even if it means killing you myself!
ABBIE: Goodness! What's gotten into Sasha?
LAFF: Anastasia, I'd say.
FUZZY: Thanks to your interference, I've lost any chance of ever being reunited with my One True Love!
SASHA: I am your One True Love! You're still sick, Fuzzy! I don't know what happened to you in that other world that Inin Hibbisha sent you to, but it's over now! You're home! With me - your loving wife!
FUZZY: Let's fight!
SASHA: Good!
(The battle begins. The others watch in shock as Fuzzy and Sasha fight. They fight for several minutes, neither able to gain the upper hand.)
FUZZY: I will not be defeated!
SASHA: Oh, yes you will!
(They continue to fight. Until suddenly the ghost of Teddy Uulamets appears between them. Fuzzy gasps, and stops fighting. He is the only one who can see the ghost.)
FUZZY: You again!
UULAMETS: Cease this stupidity immediately! Have you no brain, boy? To dream of leaving Sasha and joining "Diamonds"! Ridiculous! Open your eyes, fool! "Diamonds" is your daughter!!
(Everyone is looking at Fuzzy oddly.)
PIRICA: Who's he talking to?
WESTMINSTER: What's going on?
FUZZY: Good Bunny Gods! How could I have been so stupid?
(Fuzzy drops to his knees.)
FUZZY: Forgive me, Sash!
UULAMETS: That's better, child. I shall leave you, for now. But don't think you've seen the last of Teddy Uulamets ...
(The ghost vanishes.)
FUZZY: Oh, Sasha!
(Sasha kneels down to see if Fuzzy's alright.)
SASHA: What happened to you, Fuzzy?
(He kisses her. Rather more intensely than usual. Anastasia takes Mac aside.)
ANASTASIA: Damn! Why did Fuzzy back down? One of them would have been killed, but that fool Fuzzy surrendered himself!
MAC: I guess the Ferocity Serum that I slipped into Sasha's parsley tea wasn't as strong as I thought. She should have killed him whether he surrendered or not.
ANASTASIA: Can you mix up a stronger one for her?
MAC: Wouldn't work. The Ferocity Serum immediately and permanently alters the victim's emotional matrix. The immune system reacts violently and renders further doses ineffectual. There's no way I can make Sasha any meaner than she is now.
ANASTASIA: Bugger! Well, at least she's got a spine now. Better than nothing, I guess.
MAC: Yeah. You'd better report back to Valium.
(Cut to Fuzzy and Sasha's house. Fuzzy and Sasha.)
SASHA: I'm glad you came to your senses, Fuzzy.
FUZZY: Well ... I ... he ... Me too. I love you, Sasha.
SASHA: And I love you.
FUZZY: You ... fought pretty well out there.
SASHA: Thank you. I felt ... unusually hostile. I ... I still have an urge to beat someone up. But not you.
FUZZY: I know how you feel! Ever since I woke up in the Rock Nest, I've felt ... stronger, more confident. I had lots of adventures, and they were great. And ... and ... I just have this undeniable craving for action and violence!
SASHA: Yes. But ... how can we feed these desires without beating up our friends?
FUZZY: I don't know. And that's not as important as finding out why we have these urges in the first place. It's very unlike us. Well ... unlike you, anyway. I suppose in my case it's just a natural extension of my innate daring and boldness, triggered by my forced adaptation to the harsh, cruel world in which the Rock Nest is situated. But with you ... it's just weird.
SASHA: Yes. Oh, I do hope we get attacked by bad guys soon! I am desperately wanting to thump someone!
FUZZY: Me too.
(Credits.)

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