| SEASON A episode 3 | |
| 'The Bit After That Bit' | |
| (Dr Gumman's surgery. His patient is Bunniquette.) | |
| GUMMAN: | So what seems to be the trouble? |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | I have a problem, Doc. I think I'm becoming an alcoholic. I spend all day, every day, drinking carrot daiquiris. |
| GUMMAN: | Why did you start drinking? |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | To get away from my loser husband and that stupid walrus! |
| GUMMAN: | Ah! I think I understand. |
| (hands Bunniquette a piece of paper) Here's your restriction. | |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | My what? |
| GUMMAN: | Your restriction. You're only allowed two carrot daiquiris a day from now on. |
| ('Quette glares.) | |
| (Cut to the bridge of the UBF Sea Kidney, which is their ship. Fuzzy is there busily re-writing the script. Enter Abbie and Westminster.) | |
| ABBIE: | How goes it, Fuzzboid? |
| FUZZY: | Hmmm? |
| WESTMINSTER: | She means, how is the script going? |
| FUZZY: | (non-committal) Oh. It's OK. |
| (Abbie and Westminster exchange glances, and huddle together in the corner of the room, so Fuzzy can't hear them.) | |
| ABBIE: | Poor Fuzzy! Maybe we shouldn't have made such a fuss about the script. He's really upset now. He even yelled at Sasha this morning. |
| WESTMINSTER: | We should make sure that today's episode goes off without a hitch. That might make him feel better. |
| ABBIE: | Last week's would have worked OK if it wasn't for that stupid walrus. |
| WESTMINSTER: | If we could just organise it so the walrus and its stupid owner were absent for a while, it would be great. Hey! I've got an idea! (calls) Tessa! |
| (Chainsaw 3 (Tessa) appears in a puff of smoke. She is grinning, very proud of herself.) | |
| TESSA: | Yo! What's up? |
| WESTMINSTER: | How are your magic studies going, Tessa? |
| TESSA: | Great! I've just mastered sawing up a little old lady. Professor Uulamets says that next week I might even be ready to put her back together again! |
| WESTMINSTER: | Could you maybe arrange for the unfortunate disappearance of a certain walrus and its owner for a few hours? |
| TESSA: | (nods conspiratorially) No problemo! (vanishes in another puff of smoke) |
| ABBIE: | That's a good idea. Now maybe we can film a whole episode without any interruptions. |
| (Cut to the 'Paws and Sorcery' set once more. Fuzzy, Uulamets, Sasha, Bullocksnap, Earless, Westminster, and Ghuzzy Bunny are all there in costume. They are riding across the plain. In the distance can be seen the fortress of Gumpity the Camouflaged.) | |
| WESTMINSTER: | Fuzzy, are you sure this is a good idea? Gumpity the Camouflaged has a formidable army, and our friends will all be guarded by his terrible Bushrats. I think this is a foolish course of action. |
| FUZZY: | Westminster, shut up. |
| (Westminster looks shocked. The others snigger.) | |
| SASHA: | The thing is, since you made Fuzzy re-write the scripts, we've run out of ideas, so we have to keep on doing the embark-upon-impossible-quest-and-succeed-naturally motif. We can't use any of the original stuff because you guys thought it was boring. |
| WESTMINSTER: | (looking guilty) Boring? did I say it was boring. Deary me! How foolish of me! |
| BULLOCKSNAP: | Westminster, shut up. |
| (Westminster does so out of surprise.) | |
| (The fortress is getting closer. Suddenly, out of nowhere, Bushrats pop up everywhere.) | |
| FUZZY: | Oh, no! The evil hoardes of Gumpity the Camouflaged! |
| EARLESS: | Not Bushrats again! I hate Bushrats! |
| WESTMINSTER: | What do you mean, you hate Bushrats? You've never even met any before! |
| EARLESS: | Of course I have! How do you think.... (a Bushrat hits him over the head with a large mallet. Our heroes applaud.) |
| FUZZY: | We must resist the terrible Bushrats! Come, Westminster, be brave! |
| (There is a pause. Everyone looks around expectantly.) | |
| FUZZY: | I said, Come, Westminster, be brave! |
| (Still nothing happens.) | |
| FUZZY: | That was Chris Rabbo's cue! Where is that Goof-ball? |
| (Abbie walks onto the set, dressed as Princess Abbigail.) | |
| ABBIE: | Sorry, Fuzzy, we thought the show would go better if we got rid of him for a little while. |
| FUZZY: | So where is he? |
| ABBIE: | Tessa magicked him and his stupid walrus away. |
| FUZZY: | Aha! Tessa! (she appears in a puff of smoke, looking rather embarrassed) Tessa, we appreciate what you've done, but we need you to bring Chris Rabbo back for about ten minutes. |
| TESSA: | Umm.... |
| FUZZY: | What's the problem? |
| TESSA: | I can't. I've only got up to Making Things Disappear in the Magic for Beginners book. It'll be next week before I can bring him back. |
| FUZZY: | (sighs deeply) |
| ABBIE: | Sorry, Fuzzy, we thought we were doing you a favour. |
| (Bunniquette bounds in, dressed as a medieval courtesan. She is all smiles.) | |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | Don't worry, Ab, you've done me a favour! Everyone, to the Malt Shoppe! The carrot daiquiris are on me! |
| (The set is left behind as everyone departs for the Malt Shoppe. The camera pans up, and as the credits roll, we see Chris Rabbo and the Walrus trussed up between the catwalks of the set. Tessa the chainsaw is laughing at them.) |
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