| SEASON A episode 4 | |
| 'More of the Same' | |
| (The Malt Shoppe. Bunniquette is there, wearing a gym outfit, as if she's just been working out, with a bottle of Evian and a book called 'Putting Up with Your Husband Without Alcohol'. The jukebox is playing 'Summertime' (vocals: B. O'Bunbun), a mellow, bluesy number. Abbie comes in.) | |
| ABBIE: | How're you doing, 'Quette? |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | Pretty good. This books the chainsaws got me is really helpful. Is it time to shoot the next episode yet? |
| ABBIE: | Yes. The director is a bit mad because we only got a tiny bit of the story done last week, what with Chris being magicked away and all. |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | (giggles) That was good, wasn't it? Pity the spell wore off. |
| (They both laugh.) | |
| ABBIE: | Yeah, well this week we want to get as much of the plot done as possible. Fuzzy's rewritten the whole thing, and it's actually quite good, now. A bit soppy perhaps, but... Oh well, if we go well, you and I might actually get an entrance today! That'd be good, wouldn't it? |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | Yep. Let's get moving. |
| (As we pan through the ship, we hear Gumman doing a VO.) | |
| GUMMAN (VO): | During a visit to Baddiesville recently, our illustrious cast picked up two new members - Gumpity the Camouflaged Dinosaur, and Foul Yompy, brother of Teddy Uulamets, to be the bad guys in the Alternative Reality series. Will they cause friction amongst the cast, or will they finally shoot Chris Rabbo's stupid walrus? Why does he have a walrus, anyway? What possible practical use can a walrus have? I suppose you could make walrus-skin... |
| FUZZY (VO): | Shut up, Willits! |
| (Cut to the set. The scene is Gumpity the Camouflaged's fortress. Our heroes are chained together in costume, and are guarded by Bushrats, while awaiting an audience.) | |
| BULLOCKSNAP: | (reading the script) I say Fuzzy, what's this bit here that says we're awaiting an audience? Are we going to do the show with a real audience now? |
| FUZZY: | No, Colonel, it means we're waiting to see Gumpity the Camouflaged. He will give us an audience, see? |
| BULLOCKSNAP: | Oh, so it's like a captive audience, and they will clap and laugh when we tell them to? |
| FUZZY: | (groans) No, it isn't. Look, just follow the script, OK? |
| BULLOCKSNAP: | But I can't act in front of an audience! I get all nervous and self-conscious.... (a Bushrat guard hits him with a large mallet, and he shuts up.) |
| CHRIS: | (as a Bushrat guard) All rise in the presence of King Gumpity the Camouflaged! |
| (All the Bushrats stand to attention. Our heroes are made to do the same. Enter Gumpity. He is a small stuffed toy dinosaur of the Brachiosaur type, with a long wobbly neck, and his skin is in patches of khaki and brown, hence the name Gumpity the Camouflaged. He is also wearing a Darth Vader type helmet, and making appropriate asthmatic breathing noises.) | |
| GUMPITY: | Who interrupts the royal kip? |
| CHRIS: | It is us, your majesty. We have captured the survivors of attack on Earless the Fearless's castle, and brought them here to serve as your slaves. What would you have us do with them?? |
| GUMPITY: | (looking at our heroes) Good heavens! Is this Teddy Uulamets? |
| UULAMETS: | (bravely) I have been called so. |
| GUMPITY: | Then this must be his lovely daughter Sasha! (leers) Heh heh heh! |
| UULAMETS: | If you so much as lay one paw on her... |
| GUMPITY: | Oh, no! I would never hurt her! No, I have a much nicer aim in mind. |
| SASHA: | (fearfully) What are you talking about? |
| GUMPITY: | Well, my dear, I have a special job for you. Come closer. |
| (Prodded by Bushrat guards, Sasha does so. Gumpity leans over and whispers in her ear.) | |
| SASHA: | Eeeeeaaarrgh!!! No, no, I could never! Kill me first! Do anything you like to me, only not that! |
| WESTMINSTER: | (curiously) What does he want you to do? |
| SASHA: | (she's crying by now) He wants me to be his personal pedicurist! I have to cut his toenails and wash his feet! Every day!!!!!! |
| UULAMETS: | (defiantly) No daughter of mine is going to fiddle with the feet of a toy dinosaur whose head is about to fall off! No Way! |
| GUMPITY: | Well, it's your choice. Guards! Lock them in the dungeons with all the others! |
| (Fuzzy has remained silent all through the interview. As they are being led away, he speaks up.) | |
| FUZZY: | (medieval hero mode) Foul Gumpity! I fell that I should warn you that if you lock us up, you face almost certain destruction! We have powerful friends! |
| GUMPITY: | Do you perhaps refer to that pathetic little Thunder God you know? I think you'll be disappointed. My troops have captured him too, and he is imprisoned in a Thaum-proof box in my dungeons! Take them away! |
| (The guards, led by Chris Rabbo, lead our heroes out of the room.) | |
| (New scene - the dungeons. They are just your average dungeons, with bars, drips, and mouldering stone. The Fuzzy Bunny Team are shoved into one room. Here they meet with Abbie, Bunniquette, and, surprisingly enough, Hoppy and Mal, Hoppy still wearing her UBF battlesuit. In the corner, in a special glass box, can be seen Lucky, Bunny God of Thunder.) | |
| FUZZY: | Hoppy and Mal! I thought they'd been completely brainwashed by Rufus and Yasta! |
| ABBIE: | They have. We put them in the part of the ship that we use to make the sets, and they were just in here when we arrived. |
| FUZZY: | So are they part of this story or not? |
| WESTMINSTER: | Well, does it matter? Write them in! Maybe we can use them to help us escape from Gumpity's fortress. |
| FUZZY: | OK, we'll do it. Back to the plot now. |
| WESTMINSTER: | Right. It's my line, isn't it? OK. Ahem. Princess Abbigail! At last, I've found you! |
| ABBIE: | Oh, bold Westminster! We are reunited! What joy! Now we need never be apart! Fuzzy, I don't like that line. |
| FUZZY: | Shut up. Sasha, it's your line. |
| SASHA: | (she's examining Hoppy's battlesuit) Hmm? Oh, sorry. Yes. Er, (wails) Oh dear! How will we ever escape? All is lost, lost! |
| GHUZZY: | (mutters) I wish you were. |
| FUZZY: | Dad! Stick to the script! |
| GHUZZY: | Sorry, I just got a bit bored. I don't say anything for a while. |
| (The walrus wanders into the dungeon and headbutts Hoppy's suit.) | |
| FUZZY: | I've just about had enough of that walrus! RABBO! |
| (Enter Chris Rabbo. He has a can labelled Walrus Food, and a large dish and spoon. He looks very embarrassed.) | |
| CHRIS: | Look, I'm really terribly sorry. It's just that Dennis gets a bit jumpy around his feeding time, and.... |
| FUZZY: | GET HIM OUT OF HERE!!!!!!! |
| CHRIS: | All right, there's no need to shout! Robin gets very nervous when people shout at him. |
| (He drags the walrus out. Fuzzy looks frazzled.) | |
| FUZZY: | Um. Now what happens next? |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | The next bit's not very important. Let's just go to my line. |
| FUZZY: | OK. |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | (she's dressed as a courtesan, ie rather revealing and very attractive) I know, I'll distract the guards, and escape! Then I'll find Doctor Gumman, and we can work out a way to bring about the downfall of the evil King Gumpity the Camouflaged! |
| ABBIE: | Good luck! Oh, but be careful, dear, brave Bunniquette! |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | Fear not, sweet Abbigail. I will return with all speed. Who wrote this vile garbage? |
| (They all look at Fuzzy.) | |
| FUZZY: | Hey, don't blame me! I thought this was a very touching scene, so shut up! |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | Touching? Nauseating is more the word! Oh well. (calls) I say! Guards! |
| (Chris Rabbo appears in the doorway. He has been running, and has the empty walrus food tin on his head, and the spoon shoved down the front of his costume.) | |
| CHRIS: | Er, sorry about that. Um. What is it, prisoners? |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | How about you and me going and having a little tour of the dungeons, eh? (she flutters her eyelashes coquettishly, and generally behaves very tarty) |
| CHRIS: | Oh, yes! What a good idea! |
| (They both exit. Fuzzy looks at his watch.) | |
| FUZZY: | Looks like we're out of time, guys. We'll do the rest in voice-over. |
| (As the credits roll over a shot of the walrus eating its dinner in a very disgusting way, we hear the voice over.) | |
| ABBIE (VO): | Will Bunniquette escape from the clutches of the mad guard with the walrus? Can Lucky escape from the Thaum-proof Box? And what has become of Doctor Gumman? Find out, with any luck, in the next exciting episode of 'Fuzzy Bunny - the Alternative Reality'! |
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