| SEASON A episode 5 | |
| 'Another bit that's a lot like the ones that have gone before' | |
| (A talk show set. Fuzzy is being interviewed by Gumman.) | |
| GUMMAN: | Welcome back to Culture Corner. My name is Willits Gumman, and I'm your host. Now we'll have our interview with Fuzzy Bunny about his new series, 'Fuzzy Bunny - The Alternative Reality'. Mr Bunny, where did the ideas for this wonderful new series come from? |
| FUZZY: | Well, Willits, some people would say that they came from the diseased imagination of a psychopathic, socially ostracised, mass murdering hippy, but actually my cast and I wrote them together. You see, I originally wanted to do a serious Space Opera, but after the UBF Insectblanket crashed, my heart just wasn't in it. So I became a pirate, but just before I was arrested, we did a pilot of a show called 'Paws and Sorcery' (and this is available on video for only $29.95 in your local UBBC shop). The story of Alternative Reality sprang from there. |
| GUMMAN: | Fascinating! (he hasn't been listening) So when does this new series look like it will be ready to air? |
| FUZZY: | We're hoping to shoot the remaining four episodes today, which will mean that it's ready by lunchtime on Friday. |
| GUMMAN: | Wonderful! I'm sure we're all looking forward to it. Well, folks, that's all from Fuzzy Bunny, and now, our roving reporter Sasha will bring us a fascinating story about how we know the world to be banana-shaped. |
| (Cut to the Malt Shoppe. The whole cast is there, in costume, looking very angry. Fuzzy enters.) | |
| ABBIE: | You slimebag! |
| UULAMETS: | Really, Fuzzy, this is too much! |
| SASHA: | I'm not too happy with this, Fuzzy. |
| FUZZY: | What's the problem, guys? Don't you like the new ending I wrote? |
| WESTMINSTER: | The ending is fine, Fuzzy! It's just physically impossible for us to shoot four episodes of Alternative Reality in one day! |
| FUZZY: | Why? |
| BULLOCKSNAP: | Because with that ridiculous man (points at Chris) and his stupid walrus, we can never get through more than one episode in a day! |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | It's just too much to ask, Fuzzy! You know it takes at least a day to learn one episode's script! |
| FUZZY: | Look, I just thought it might give us a little incentive to work harder if we had a deadline! |
| UULAMETS: | A deadline is fine, but Friday??! We're supposed to have the whole thing ready in three days? It isn't possible. |
| FUZZY: | Well you're all going to have to try! Come on, everyone to the set. We'll make a good start. Chris, is your walrus safe in its tank? |
| CHRIS: | Who, Damien? Yes, he's tucked away with a copy of Walrus Monthly. He'll be quite happy till we finish the episode. Is this going to be a good one? |
| FUZZY: | (slightly offended) Of course it is! What do you mean? How dare you insinuate that my episodes aren't good! |
| (The cast exchange glances. Cut to the set. Everyone (except Hoppy and Mal) is ragged and thin - they've obviously been there for a while. Suddenly there comes the sound of fighting and people yelling etc. from outside the cell. Our heroes look around nervously.) | |
| FUZZY: | I wonder what's happening? |
| SASHA: | I don't know, but it's scary! Please hold my paw! |
| (Fuzzy, looking manly and brave, does so. Suddenly, the door of the cell bursts open, and there is Bunniquette, wearing armour and a helmet.) | |
| FUZZY: | 'Quette! We'd almost given up hope! |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | Ye of little faith! Bunniquette O'Bunbun-Rabbo does not leave her friends in the lurch! Come on, we have to go. Yompy's forces will soon overpower Gumpity, and torch the palace. |
| UULAMETS AND SASHA: | (shocked) Yompy? |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | Yes, his army is attacking the fortress. Don't worry, I'll explain later. Come on! |
| (Cut to a field. In the distance we can see Gumpity's fortress being burnt to the ground. Here we see Yompy the Foul, who bears a remarkable resemblance to Uulamets. Bunniquette runs up and hugs him.) | |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | Oh, Yompy! They're safe, just like I knew they would be! Thank you for letting me go and rescue them! |
| YOMPY: | It's quite all right, dearest. I wouldn't like your friends to be stuck in Gumpity's castle for all eternity, even if one if them is my brother. |
| UULAMETS: | Yompy, my brother, I am very surprised. Why did you suddenly decide to come and rescue us, after you went to so much trouble to catch us yourself? |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | Oh, that! I'll tell you about that later. Let's go and get cleaned up! |
| (Cut to yet another scene. It is a room, obviously in a rather posh house. Bunniquette, Fuzzy, Abbie, Gumman, Uulamets, Sasha, and Westminster are sitting at a table.) | |
| FUZZY: | So, 'Quette, how did you come to be on Foul Yompy's side, and how did you get him to rescue us? |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | Well, it's a long story... |
| (As she speaks, we see what it is she is saying. It's one of those VO with pictures things.) | |
| BUNNIQUETTE (VO): | You see, once I got out of the dungeon, I persuaded that guard who had the walrus that I was going to.... |
| SASHA (VO): | We muchly diswant to know! |
| BUNNIQUETTE (VO): | Sorry. Anyway, when he had is back turned, I hit him on the head with a frying pan, and stole his uniform. Then I managed to get out of the castle, and after a few days I found the doctor. He'd been picked up by giant vultures, so I had to fight them first, but eventually I won. He suggested we bite the bullet and go and ask Yompy for help. Anyway, when we got here, and I met Yompy... (heaves a romantic sigh) He is such a man! |
| FUZZY: | Bunniquette, this is not in the script! It says here on page seventeen that Yompy is supposed to betray us and sell us as slaves to Regis Toxicon the Undertaker! |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | Yes, and I end up polishing coffins all day long! No way, I reserve the right to alter things as I see fit! |
| FUZZY: | Now look here, you... |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | Don't take that tone with me, Fuzzy Bunny! I'm a Bunny Fun descendant and I can do what I like! |
| FUZZY: | This is my show! |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | Yeah? Well up yours! I'm leaving! |
| (Bunniquette storms out in a tantrum. There is a shocked silence.) | |
| UULAMETS: | Sorry, Fuzzy, my brother has a terrible effect on some people. I didn't think it was a good idea to bring him along, even just as a character in the show. He causes too much trouble. |
| FUZZY: | Yes, I'm beginning to wish we'd just stuck with Gumpity. He's great! |
| (Gumpity, without the Darth Vader helmet, sticks his head in the door.) | |
| GUMPITY: | Thanks, guys! Hey, Fuzzy, we have a little problem. Bunniquette has gone and released Chris's walrus, and it's loose somewhere on the ship. What should we do? |
| (Chris Rabbo, dressed as a maid, sprints into the room.) | |
| CHRIS: | She's what? Oh, no! Carl! Carl! Where are you? Here, boy! |
| (Chris runs out calling for the walrus. Fuzzy sighs.) | |
| FUZZY: | OK, let's all take a break. Back at four. |
| (The Malt Shoppe. The jukebox is playing Bunniquette's version of 'Everything Happens to Me'. Bunniquette and Yompy are there. She is complaining.) | |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | They're always going on about how I have to remember that I'm a BFD, and if I try to use it, I get yelled at! Life isn't fair. |
| YOMPY: | I know, my pet. But look on the bright side! We still have each other. And your stupid husband isn't important. |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | I know. (sighs happily) Are you happy, Yompy? |
| YOMPY: | Oh, yes! I haven't been this happy since the day I put a bomb in my brother's car. |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | You put a bomb in Teddy's car? |
| YOMPY: | Oh yes. We had such fun when we were kids. Of course, it missed, which was a bit of a blow, and Daddy wasn't too happy about what it did to the valet, but it was good fun. |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | (giggles) |
| (Chris Rabbo pokes his head in, looking for the walrus. Bunniquette throws a glass at him (and misses, fortunately). He looks shocked and leaves.) | |
| YOMPY: | We can be completely happy together, my dear. |
| (As the credits roll, we hear another VO, done by Abbie.) | |
| ABBIE (VO): | What will become of the show? Is Bunniquette doomed to be Yompy's girlfriend? And what has become of Chris's walrus? If it has accidentally wandered off into deep space, do we care? What will Fuzzy say if it eats his scripts? Find out in..... |
| FUZZY (VO): | Abbie, they get the idea! |
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