| SEASON A episode 6 | |
| 'Something Which Definitely Wasn't Planned' | |
| (Space shot. We see the UBF Sea Kidney cruising along, and happy music is playing. Suddenly, the music gets more urgent and scary as a UBF battle cruiser comes into view. It is bearing down on our friends very quickly. Inside are Sigma and Delta of the UBF (like Rufus and Yasta but different) although this it not immediately apparent.) | |
| (Cut to the Malt Shoppe. Fuzzy is there with Sasha, looking very miserable.) | |
| FUZZY: | (deep, profound sigh) |
| SASHA: | I know, Fuzzy. I can't believe it either. |
| FUZZY: | It's understandable, her not being happy married to Chris Rabbo, but to start going out with Yompy? It's just disgusting. |
| SASHA: | Do you think she'll come to her senses and leave him? |
| FUZZY: | We can hope. I think she's going though a period of rebellion, and we have to wait till she comes out of it. |
| SASHA: | Have you been reading that dodgy Psychology magazine again? |
| (Fuzzy looks offended. Gumman suddenly rushes in.) | |
| GUMMAN: | Fuzzy, there's a UBF ship out there being hostile! What do we do? |
| FUZZY: | (groans) Not again! I'm sick of the UBF. Why can't they leave me alone? |
| SASHA: | Well, they were nice enough to give you back your job. And they let you keep the Sea Kidney. |
| FUZZY: | Yes, and then they told me to go and do my Third-Rate Fantasy Epic, and that I wasn't to come back till it was finished. I think they were trying to get rid of me. |
| SASHA: | (sarcastic) Whatever gave you that idea? |
| FUZZY: | (scowls) |
| GUMMAN: | Maybe you're being arrested again! |
| FUZZY: | Oh, Gods, I don't think I can handle this twice! |
| (Cut to the bridge. Abbie and Westminster are there.) | |
| ABBIE: | There's nothing we can do, Fuzzy. We have to let them land. They have four lasers targeted on us. |
| FUZZY: | All right, get them on the video. |
| WESTMINSTER: | Oh, no, can't we get the Flintstones Movie instead? |
| FUZZY: | Westminster, SHUT UP!!! |
| (The video monitor flickers and Sigma and Delta's faces become visible. Sigma is chuckling.) | |
| SIGMA: | Heh heh heh! So, Fuzzy Bunny, looks like you're in trouble again! |
| FUZZY: | What's the matter? I haven't done anything wrong this time. I have orders from the UBF that I'm to finish my Third-Rate Fantasy epic and I've nearly done that! |
| ABBIE (self): | Yeah, when that stupid walrus doesn't interrupt. |
| DELTA: | Actually, Fuzzy, we have inside information that your ship is contravening Quarantine regulations. Is this the case? Remember, if you tell us the truth now, we'll go easy on you at the trial. |
| FUZZY: | Trial? Quarantine? Contravene? What what what what what? |
| DELTA: | So do you deny that your ship has broken the UBF Quarantine regulation number 352567? |
| FUZZY: | Er.... (thinks) Yeah! I do deny it! |
| SIGMA: | Then you deny that you have any articles on your ship that have not been passed by UBF Security and Quarantine? |
| FUZZY: | Yes. And I deny UBF regulation 352567 too. We have no South American Cigar-smoking Antelopes with Halitosis on board the Sea Kidney. |
| SIGMA & DELTA: | What? |
| FUZZY: | UBF regulation 352567 states that we aren't allowed to have any on board registered UBF vessels. |
| SIGMA: | No it doesn't, you stupid bunny! It states that any ship found to be carrying a name-changing walrus will be immediately shot down! |
| (Everyone gasps and the opening bars of Beethoven's 5th are played.) | |
| FUZZY: | Chris's walrus? But you.... |
| DELTA: | Silence! So, now you admit to it? Just as you realise you're about to be shot out of the sky? Fools! You will die, mortals! (megalomaniacal laugh) |
| FUZZY: | So why did you bother to tell us this? Why not just shoot us? |
| SIGMA: | We must get our boss. Without him, we are as nothing, and he is on board your ship. |
| ABBIE: | Who's that? Not Chris Rabbo? |
| DELTA: | No, not Chris Rabbo, Yompy Uulamets! |
| (More Beethoven's 5th and gasps etc.) | |
| FUZZY: | Yompy? But he's got involved with Bunniquette! What can we do? |
| DELTA: | Do nothing, mortal! Prepare to be boarded. |
| (Jaws music. We see the UBF battlecruiser link up with the Sea Kidney. Sigma and Delta march down the corridor toward the bridge.) | |
| (Cut to the tennis courts. Bunniquette and Yompy are playing tennis.) | |
| YOMPY: | Forty - love. |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | You're awfully good at tennis, Yompy. You've already won three sets! |
| YOMPY: | I was UBF champion three years running, you know. |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | UBF? Are you with the UBF? I thought you were a rogue sorcerer on the run from the authorities. |
| YOMPY: | No, I'm actually an undercover agent for the UBF. |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | WHAT??!?!??! |
| YOMPY: | Don't get all upset, my dear, we aren't all bad, you know! |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | Bollocks! You're all bastards and you tried to shoot me last series! |
| YOMPY: | Fine! Suit yourself. I was going to save your little cotton tail when the UBF come and take me off, but now you can fry with the rest of your friends! |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | Fry? |
| YOMPY: | You're going to be shot out of the sky, my little bunnie. Because of your stupid husband and his stupid walrus! Heh heh heh! |
| (As Yompy laughs demonically, Bunniquette runs out of the tennis courts crying.) | |
| (Cut to a corridor. Chris Rabbo is looking for the walrus still. Bunniquette charges up the corridor and confronts him.) | |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | Rabbo!!!!! |
| CHRIS: | Yes, my dove? |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | What's this about your walrus getting us shot down? |
| CHRIS: | Oh, no! Have the UBF found us? |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | Yes, they have! Now, you'd better explain exactly what you've done, and quickly, or I'll use my BFD powers on you. |
| CHRIS: | It's not me, actually, it's Sarah. She's not really a walrus, she's a very rare species of Alien Rhinoceros. The UBF don't want poor Lucy to survive to prove that there's life on other planets, so they want to confiscate her! And dissect her! And run tests on her! (bursts into tears) |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | (compassion and sympathy all of a sudden) Really? Well, in that case... |
| (Bunniquette screws up her face. In the bridge, we see Sigma and Delta, holding Fuzzy and Co at gunpoint, go the same way as Rufus and Yasta (ie turned to stone) but with notable differences. Sigma is now holding a small fishing rod and sitting on a mushroom, and Delta is pushing a wheelbarrow.) | |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | Hah! That's better! (turns to Chris) Now let's go and find your walrus. (they walk off hand in hand) |
| (As the credits roll over a shot of the Sea Kidney flying off into the sunset, we hear Gumpity doing a VO in a very deep J.E.J. type voice.) | |
| GUMPITY: | And so it came to pass that Chris Rabbo and Bunniquette O'Bunbun-Rabbo decided that maybe, if they were very careful, they could live together in moderate peace and harmony. But what of Yompy the Foul? We shall see.... |
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