| SEASON THREE, EPISODE FOUR. | |
| BUNNY-NAPPED | |
| (Anastasia’s room. Anastasia, the Easter Bunny, Pommel and Pummel.) | |
| ANASTASIA: | You have failed me once too often, Stab-Stabs. From now on the task of removing O’Bunbun and Rabbo shall be passed on to Roberto. |
| POMMEL: | But Princess-- |
| ANASTASIA: | And stop calling me Princess! |
| PUMMEL: | As you wish, Princess. |
| ANASTASIA: | Ng! |
| POMMEL: | Please don’t sack us, Prin-- uh, Duchess. We won’t mess up again. |
| ANASTASIA: | I don’t recall threatening to entirely dispense of your services. I have another job for you. |
| POMMEL: | Oh, goody! What is it? |
| PUMMEL: | Yeah, what is it? |
| ANASTASIA: | I have business to attend to elsewhere. Roberto will fill you in. Roberto. |
| (Anastasia leaves.) | |
| EASTER BUNNY: | Listen up, you ninja punks. Duchess Sarossy-Mammalworth wants you to get out there and ... kidnap Sasha Uulamets. |
| POMMEL: | She wants us to kidnap her sister? |
| PUMMEL: | Yeah ... her sister! |
| EASTER BUNNY: | Are you completely brainless? Princess Sasha is not Anastasia’s sister. She-- |
| (There’s a knock at the door. The Easter Bunny motions for the Stab-Stabs to he silent. We hear Rabbo say:) | |
| RABBO’S VOICE: | Hey, Anastasia! You in there? |
| (After a few moments, Rabbo enters. The Stab-Stabs leap into the air and seemingly vanish. The Easter Bunny falls onto the bed and pretends to be asleep.) | |
| RABBO: | Oops. Sorry, Easter Bunny. Didn’t mean to wake you up. |
| (Still pretending to be asleep, the Easter Bunny says:) | |
| EASTER BUNNY: | You didn’t. Go away. |
| RABBO: | Hmmm. He must be a pretty sound sleeper. |
| (Rabbo leaves and the Easter Bunny gets off the bed.) | |
| EASTER BUNNY: | Right. You can come out now, you spineless buffoons. |
| (Pommel and Pummel drop from the ceiling. Pommel lands on his feet, but Pummel goofs up the drop and ends up in a heap on the floor. The Easter Bunny glares at him, and he jumps to his feet quickly.) | |
| PUMMEL: | Ahem. What a slippery floor. |
| EASTER BUNNY: | Slippery? The carpet’s made of velcro, you loser! |
| PUMMEL: | You don’t have to be rude. |
| EASTER BUNNY: | It’s all right. I want to. |
| (Cut to the Malt Shoppe. Sasha, Uulamets, Bunniquette, Gumman. Anastasia enters.) | |
| UULAMETS: | Ah, Anna. I trust you are well. |
| ANASTASIA: | Yes ... “father”. |
| SASHA: | It is so nice to know that you are my twin sister, Anna. |
| ANASTASIA: | Isn’t it, though? In fact, I just came to ask you if you’d care to take a walk with me. |
| SASHA: | Certainly. |
| (Cut to the Easter Bunny and the Stab-Stabs in Anastasia’s room again.) | |
| EASTER BUNNY: | And the password is “Now would be nice”. |
| POMMEL: | The passwords, you mean. |
| PUMMEL: | What? |
| POMMEL: | Passwords. |
| (Pummel passes Pommel a big sack with “words” written on the side.) | |
| EASTER BUNNY: | I’m surrounded by imbeciles! |
| (Cut to a long, empty corridor. Sasha and Anastasia come walking down it. One solitary door is set into one wall of the corridor. It has “broom closet” written on it.) | |
| ANASTASIA: | ... and I do so miss Mother. But at least I have you and father now. |
| SASHA: | Yes. We’ll take care of you. |
| ANASTASIA: | Heavens, I couldn’t allow that. I intend to take care of you and father. Oh, look. A broom closet. I might just pop in and see if they have any nice mops. You wait here. |
| SASHA: | Certainly. |
| (Anastasia walks into the broom closet and closes the door behind her, before saying:) | |
| ANASTASIA’S VOICE: | “Now would be nice”. |
| (Sasha says to herself:) | |
| SASHA: | Now what did she mean by that? |
| (Suddenly Pommel is standing behind her, with a knife to her throat.) | |
| POMMEL: | Don’t scream or struggle. |
| (Pummel lands in front of her.) | |
| PUMMEL: | You heard him. You’re ours, Gracie. |
| (They tie her up securely and zoom away. Anastasia cautiously sticks her head out from inside the broom closet and looks up and down the corridor.) | |
| ANASTASIA: | Perfect. They didn’t foul up for once. “Oh, Sasha, where are you?” Ha. Ha, ha. Ha. |
| (Cut to the Bridge. Hoppy, Laff, Abbie, Westminster. Fuzzy enters.) | |
| FUZZY: | Hi, guys. Anyone seen Sash? |
| ABBIE: | No. |
| HOPPY: | Sorry. She hasn’t been in here. |
| FUZZY: | I’ll go see if she’s playing tennis. |
| (Fuzzy exits. Cut to the Malt Shoppe. Uulamets, Bunniquette, Gumman.) | |
| UULAMETS: | Hmmm ... Sasha and Anastasia have been gone for a long time. |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | Yes. You better hope Anastasia hasn’t-- |
| GUMMAN: | Shut up, Bunniquette. |
| (Anastasia enters.) | |
| UULAMETS: | Ah, Anastasia. Where is Sasha? |
| ANASTASIA: | What? I thought she was here. I popped into the broom closet to do some exploring, and when I came out, Sasha was gone. |
| GUMMAN: | If you’ll excuse me, there’s something I must do. |
| (Gumman leaves, passing Fuzzy, who is on his way in.) | |
| FUZZY: | See you later, Doctor Gumman. Hey, Uulamets, do you know where Sasha is? |
| (Cut to Gumman’s surgery. He is sitting at his desk, upon which rests his large suitcase.) | |
| GUMMAN: | What’s the problem? |
| (An indistinct female voice from inside the suitcase says:) | |
| VOICE: | I’m stuck! I can’t get out! |
| GUMMAN: | Well, I’ve, uh, lost the key. |
| VOICE: | Get out of here and find Sasha! |
| (Cut to Anastasia’s room. It appears to be empty. Until Gumman kicks open the door and bursts in with a gun.) | |
| GUMMAN: | Okay, ninja scum! I know you’re in there. |
| (He rips the covers off the bed, looking for Sasha and the Stab-Stabs. He looks under the bed, and behind the curtains, and then approaches the en suite. Cut to Anastasia’s en suite bathroom. Sasha is sitting on a stool in the bath, bound, gagged, and blindfolded. Gumman storms in.) | |
| GUMMAN: | There you are. Don’t worry, Princess. It’s me - Gumman. I’ll just get you out of here and then I’ll untie you. |
| (He reaches over to pick up Sasha, but the Stab-Stabs leap out of nowhere and block his path.) | |
| POMMEL: | Your puny weapons are no match for our finely-honed martial arts skills. |
| GUMMAN: | Yeah? Well your dopey karate-buggering-around-rubbish is no match for my gun! |
| POMMEL: | Brave words, surgeon! |
| (Pommel lunges at Gumman. Gumman shoots him and he drops to the floor, stunned. Pummel looks rather uncomfortable.) | |
| GUMMAN: | As for you, you samurai moron, get out of my way or I’ll amputate your empty head. And I’m all out of anaesthetic. |
| (Pummel gulps, bows to Gumman, grabs his unconscious brother, and bolts. Cut to the Malt Shoppe. Fuzzy, Uulamets, Bunniquette, Anastasia. They all look rather gloomy.) | |
| FUZZY: | Where could Sasha be? We’ve looked everywhere. |
| ANASTASIA: | This is all my fault. I should never have left her alone -- |
| UULAMETS: | Don’t blame yourself, Anna dear. |
| ANASTASIA: | She must have been kidnapped. You’ll probably get an anonymous ransom not any minute now. |
| (Gumman enters, carrying the still bound Sasha. He sets her down on a stool by the counter and unties her, removing the gag and blindfold. Everyone looks happy except Anastasia, who looks rather shocked for a second.) | |
| FUZZY: | Gumman, what happened? |
| GUMMAN: | Sasha ... tripped over. |
| UULAMETS: | Tripped over? |
| GUMMAN: | Yes. She fell... into... the hands of a pair of diabolical ninja assassins! |
| THE OTHERS: | What?! |
| ANASTASIA: | Goodness, how did you ever manage to rescue her? Where did they have her? |
| GUMMAN: | Oh, she was just tied up in one of the bedrooms. |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | Yeah? Like which one? |
| GUMMAN: | Oh, one of the vacant ones, I think. |
| (He glares at Anastasia, who scowls.) | |
| FUZZY: | So Chris was right when he told us that two ninja bunnies were here with us! |
| GUMMAN: | They’re gone now. I locked them in the escape pod and fired them into space. |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | Good. I hate diabolical ninja assassins. |
| (Cut to Anastasia’s room. The Easter Bunny and the Stab-Stabs. Anastasia rushes in.) | |
| ANASTASIA: | Roberto! What on earth has happened? And ... the Stab-Stabs! Grr! Gumman said he shot you into space! |
| EASTER BUNNY: | He was obviously just trying to force them to lie low for a while. |
| ANASTASIA: | Wonderful. Now the mad doctor is onto me as well. You stupid, bumbling, stupid, bumbling ... stupid bumblers! |
| POMMEL: | But he had a gun, Princess! |
| ANASTASIA: | Don’t call me Princess! |
| PUMMEL: | But-- |
| ANASTASIA: | I am not a princess! You will address me as Duchess, or the Easter Bunny will tear out your spleens and urinate in them! Am I understood? |
| THE STAB-STABS: | Yes, Princess. |
| (The credits roll.) |
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