| SEASON THREE, EPISODE SIX | |
| COUNT UP TO NINE | |
| (The Malt Shoppe, late at night. Fuzzy and Anastasia are there, drinking champagne. It seems to have become a habit.) | |
| ANASTASIA: | So tell me more about how you fell in love with me ... sister. |
| FUZZY: | Welllll, she was very pretty, and she was not Russian but she said she was and ... perhaps I just can’t resist a girl who lies through her teeth constantly. |
| ANASTASIA: | I was hoping you’d say that. |
| FUZZY: | You look a lot like Sasha, you... know. Maybe the two of you are re ... lated. Hey... you’re not Sasha wearing a funny purple wig, are you? |
| ANASTASIA: | No! Now have another glass of champagne. |
| (He does. And bang! He goes from Perhaps Beginning To Be Mildly Effected By The Alcohol to Completely And Entirely El-Drunko.) | |
| FUZZY: | Woo! It’s got bubbles! I think I’ve had a little too much champignon. Am I... being drunked again, Anna? |
| ANASTASIA: | Indeed, you are. |
| FUZZY: | Welllll ... so long as I know. Hey, let’s sing a song! |
| ANASTASIA: | Must we? |
| FUZZY: | I will sing you a love song. I saw it on TV once, about two-thousand, ninety seven years. |
| ANASTASIA: | You weren’t born then. |
| FUZZY: | Oh yeah ... Race memory. |
| ANASTASIA: | Right. So sing, already. |
| FUZZY: |
“One-two-three-four-five-six-seven-eight-nine Doo-wah. |
| ANASTASIA: |
One-two-three-four-five-six-seven-eight-nine Doo-wah. |
| FUZZY: |
Oh, baby, count up to nine for me, Oh, baby, count up to nine for me, Oh, baby, count up to nine for me, today. |
| BOTH: |
1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9 |
| FUZZY: |
Oh, baby, make the world fine for me, Oh, baby, make the world shine for me, Oh, baby, count up to nine for me, today! 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9 |
| ANASTASIA: | 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9 |
| FUZZY: | I know you can count up to seven |
| ANASTASIA: | 1-2-3-4-5-6-7 |
| FUZZY: | I know you can count up to eight |
| ANASTASIA: | 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8 |
| FUZZY: |
But you’ll count up to nine If you love me I can hardly wait! Oh, baby, count up to nine for me, today! 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9 |
| ANASTASIA: | Doo-wah |
| FUZZY: | 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9 |
| ANASTASIA: | Doo-wah |
| FUZZY: |
1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9 Count up to nine today! 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9 |
| ANASTASIA: | Doo-wah |
| FUZZY: | 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9 |
| ANASTASIA: | Doo-wah”. Right - have you got that out of your system now? |
| FUZZY: | It’s a very good song, isn’t it, Anna? |
| ANASTASIA: | Yes, Fuzzy, dear. |
| FUZZY: | I think ... I’m going to fall asleep again now. |
| ANASTASIA: | You do that, Fuzzy. |
| (He falls asleep. Cut to Anastasia’s bedroom. Sunlight is streaming in through the window. Fuzzy wakes up in Anastasia’s bed. He gasps with shock and looks around frantically, but he is alone.) | |
| FUZZY: | Oh, my goodness! What have I-- |
| (There is a knock at the door.) | |
| FUZZY: | Yipe! |
| (From the corridor outside we hear Sasha’s voice.) | |
| SASHA’S VOICE: | Anna, oh Anna! It’s me! Can I come in? |
| (Fuzzy dives under the bed to hide. Anastasia comes out of the en suite in her purple dressing gown and tidies up her bed a bit before opening the door to Sasha. Sasha comes in.) | |
| ANASTASIA: | Good morning, sister. How are you? |
| SASHA: | I feel quite happy, thank you. Did you sleep well? |
| ANASTASIA: | Yes, I did. |
| SASHA: | Would you like to join me in the Malt Shoppe for breakfast? |
| ANASTASIA: | I’d love to. If you’ll excuse me for a moment, I’ll meet you there as soon as I’m dressed. |
| SASHA: | Good. |
| (Sasha leaves, and Anastasia says:) | |
| ANASTASIA: | You can come out now, Fuzzy/ |
| (Fuzzy cautiously emerges from under the bed.) | |
| ANASTASIA: | Good morning. |
| FUZZY: | Anastasia ... Anastasia, what am I doing here? |
| ANASTASIA: | You were sleeping. |
| FUZZY: | Please tell me what happened last night. |
| ANASTASIA: | You mean you don’t remember? |
| FUZZY: | Um... yes, that’s what I mean. |
| ANASTASIA: | Well, you fell asleep in the Malt Shoppe, and when I tried to take you to your bedroom, the door was locked, and I couldn’t find the key, so I brought you here and put you in my own bed. |
| FUZZY: | But... where did you sleep? |
| ANASTASIA: | Next to you. |
| FUZZY: | Haahgh! What? But-- |
| ANASTASIA: | It’s best if you leave now. I have to get ready to meet Sasha. |
| FUZZY: | Um... yes. |
| (Fuzzy rushes out.) | |
| ANASTASIA: | Ha! That naive fool swallowed the whole thing! |
| (The Easter Bunny comes out of the en suite.) | |
| EASTER BUNNY: | Yes. Your plan is working perfectly. |
| ANASTASIA: | I’ll make my move tonight. After that, Fuzzy Bunny will be mine. |
| (Cut to the Bridge. Hoppy, Laff, Bunniquette. Fuzzy enters.) | |
| FUZZY: | Good morning, guys. |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | You missed breakfast for the ninth time this week, Fuzz. What’s going on? |
| FUZZY: | I’ve, uh, not been very hungry recently. |
| (Gumman’s surgery. He’s in there, and his suitcase is still on the desk.) | |
| FEMALE VOICE: | Have you found the key yet? |
| GUMMAN: | No. I... think I might have left it on Tooty-Mondongo. |
| FEMALE VOICE: | Oh, great. SO I have to spend the rest of my life in a suitcase? Idiot! |
| GUMMAN: | Look, I’m doing my best! I rescued Sasha for you, and took those ninja bunnies down a peg or two. And if Anastasia tries anything, I’ll be ready for her. But until I find the key, there’s no way to get you out of that suitcase without hurting you. |
| FEMALE VOICE: | Well, you’d better find the key pretty soon. Sarossy-Mammalworth can’t be trusted for a second. I can’t stand the thought of her getting her claws into Fuzzy. |
| GUMMAN: | You can’t stand at all as long as you’re locked in that suitcase. |
| FEMALE VOICE: | Idiot! |
| (Cut to the Malt Shoppe. Sasha, Anastasia, Uulamets, Tessa.) | |
| SASHA: | Have you noticed how muchly strange Fuzzy has been acting lately? |
| ANASTASIA: | Why, no. What do you mean? |
| SASHA: | Well, he never gets up till hours after breakfast, and he hardly ever talks to anyone any more, and Westminster told me that he drank a glass of champagne a few days ago! |
| ANASTASIA: | Heavens. Call the police. |
| UULAMETS: | It’s more serious than it sounds, Anna. Until the incident that Sasha just mentioned, Fuzzy had never touched alcohol in his entire life. I’m worried about him. |
| ANASTASIA: | I’m sure you needn’t be concerned. Champagne’s not going to kill him. |
| UULAMETS: | No... not champagne. |
| SASHA: | Nonetheless, I am still being worried. |
| ANASTASIA: | Well, if you’re that upset, I’ll have a word to him for you. |
| SASHA: | Well, to be thanking you. That would be niceness. |
| UULAMETS: | Your English is slipping again, dear. |
| SASHA: | I can not be helping it when I am unhappy, father. |
| ANASTASIA: | Trust me. Everything will be fine. |
| (The credits roll.) |
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