| SEASON FOUR EPISODE THREE | |
| THE DEMON STAIR SAGA part one | |
| (The Jeopardy Apartment. Bunniquette and Hoppy are in there, both wearing UBF battlesuits. They are fighting a large number of big robot bunnies. And kicking tail.) | |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | So, how’s life treating you, Hopper? This is really the first chance we’ve had to chat since we left Nerpalon 12. |
| (She punches out one of the robots.) | |
| HOPPY: | Oh, I can’t complain. I like the ship, everything’s going great with Laff... |
| (She flings away one of the robots. It smashes against a wall, destroyed.) | |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | Correct me if I’m wrong, Hop, but I believe I sense a little apprehension in your voice. What’s up? |
| HOPPY: | ...oh, nothing, really. |
| (They continue to beat up robots as they converse.) | |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | Laff said he thinks you might have been having nightmares recently. |
| HOPPY: | ...did he? |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | Yep. Talking in your sleep, that sort of thing. |
| HOPPY: | Ah. I see. |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | So? |
| HOPPY: | So what? |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | So, is he right? You been havin’ bad dreams? |
| (After pounding one last robot, Hoppy calls out:) | |
| HOPPY: | Computer, end program. |
| (The remaining robots vanish abruptly.) | |
| HOPPY: | ...sigh... well, not exactly bad dreams. Just... worrying. |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | Something about, oh, say, Fuzzy? |
| HOPPY: | What? How did you know? |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | I’ve noticed that you always seem to act weird when you’re around him these days. What’s going on? You don’t have the hots for the Fuzzboy, surely? |
| HOPPY: | Of course not! It’s nothing like that. I... I don’t know what it’s about. He... he’s always there. But he’s... different. Not so nice. Sort of... oh, I can’t explain it. Look, I’m going for a shower, we’ll talk later. |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | You’re the boss. |
| (Hoppy leaves. Bunniquette watches her go.) | |
| (Cut to a large office. There are four desks in the room, one significantly more imposing than the other three. At this desk sits Anastasia. A sign on the desk says ‘PALACE VILLAINESS’. Jupie, Grovelspit and McKoohinky are standing around her.) | |
| ANASTASIA: | Isn’t is nice having our own special bad guys office? All the better to co-ordinate my plans to wipe out those pathetic losers. |
| GROVELSPIT: | Yeah. Wipe out. But good. |
| MCKOOHINKY: | We’ll take care of those goody-two-shoes bunnies. |
| ANASTASIA: | You better believe it. Starting with... DeBunny. |
| (Cut to Gumman’s consulting room. He is sitting at his desk. Mal sits opposite him.) | |
| GUMMAN: | I’ve reached a diagnosis. I’ve examined you, considered your symptoms, and worked out exactly what your illness is. |
| MAL: | Good. What is it? |
| GUMMAN: | Stupidity. |
| MAL: | What?! Grr! I want a second opinion! |
| GUMMAN: | Then you’d better change your mind! |
| (Gumman collapses in a fit of hysterical laughter. Cut to the Common Room. Rabbo, Abbie, Pirica and Sasha are in there. Bunniquette enters.) | |
| ABBIE: | Morning, Quette. |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | Hi. |
| ABBIE: | You okay? You sound a little bummed out. |
| BUNNIQUETTE: | I’m worried about Hop. |
| (Cut to Hoppy’s bathroom. She’s in the shower. Obviously we don’t see anything that we shouldn’t.) | |
| HOPPY: | I wish these dreams would go away. This medallion crap is really getting creepy. HLXXXI... BFXXXI... And why is it that I always dream about Fuzzy? I... I think I’ll see a doctor. |
| (Cut to the waiting room outside Gumman’s consulting room. There are a few chairs, and the receptionist’s desk, and two doors leading into the doctors’ offices. One door says ‘Willits Gumman’. The other says ‘Draino Skunky’. Hoppy, having finished her shower, enters, and approaches the receptionist (Ralph).) | |
| RALPH: | How can I help you? |
| HOPPY: | I’d like to make an appointment to see Doctor Skunky. |
| RALPH: | Women’s problems, eh? Gumman not good enough? |
| HOPPY: | Well, you got the second bit right. |
| RALPH: | Doctor Skunky is free at the moment, if you’d like to go straight through. |
| HOPPY: | Thanks. |
| (Hoppy walks into Skunky’s office. Skunky is sitting at her desk.) | |
| SKUNKY: | Ah, Hoppy. How are you? Take a seat. |
| (Hoppy sits down.) | |
| SKUNKY: | What can I do for you? |
| HOPPY: | I... I’ve been having... disturbing dreams for a few nights now. I was wondering if you could help me. |
| SKUNKY: | Tell me about the dreams. |
| HOPPY: | ...Gulp... I... |
| SKUNKY: | Confidentiality is assured, you understand. |
| HOPPY: | ...Of course. Well, it’s like this... |
| (Cut to Fuzzy and Sasha’s room. Fuzzy, Laff and Westminster are in there, each wearing overalls and painting the walls and ceiling purple.) | |
| FUZZY: | Thanks for helping with the painting, guys. |
| LAFF: | No problem, Fuzz. |
| WESTMINSTER: | Funny, isn’t it, the way Sasha wanted the room painted in Anastasia’s favourite colour? |
| FUZZY: | Not very, no. |
| WESTMINSTER: | Ah. I see. We’ll just change the subject, then, shall we? So, Laff, how’s things with Hopper? |
| LAFF: | Great. Our relationship is better than it’s ever been before. |
| WESTMINSTER: | But? |
| LAFF: | What do you mean, ‘but’? |
| WESTMINSTER: | You sounded a little unconvincing. |
| LAFF: | Well... it’s these dreams. Every night, I wake up and find Hoppy next to me tossing and turning and moaning, as if she’s having the most hideous nightmares. But she won’t tell me anything about it. |
| FUZZY: | I’m sure she’ll talk when she’s ready. Just give her time. |
| LAFF: | I guess you’re right. |
| WESTMINSTER: | How’s Jetty enjoying her stay here? |
| LAFF: | Uh... not really sure. She keeps to herself a lot. But I’m sure she’s having a good time. |
| (Cut to some long corridor somewhere aboard the ship. Jetty is walking down it. She turns a corner into another corridor and us suddenly standing in front of a huge spiral staircase that seems to lead to nowhere. Looking up, she sees Fuzzy coming down the stairs.) | |
| JETTY: | Hi, King Fuzzy. |
| ‘FUZZY’: | Please... call me ‘Inky’. |
| (Cut back to the first corridor that Jetty was in, where we now see Hoppy and Pirica.) | |
| HOPPY: | Are you sure this is the way to the Italian Restaurant? We’ve been talking for ages. |
| PIRICA: | Look, I built the place! Trust me! |
| (Suddenly they hear a scream from around the next corner.) | |
| PIRICA: | What?! |
| HOPPY: | That sounded like Jet! |
| (They rush round the corner and nearly run into the staircase. Pirica looks at it in confusion, Hoppy in shock. Hoppy gasps.) | |
| HOPPY: | Pirica! What is this? Why is this here? |
| PIRICA: | Well I didn’t put it here! |
| (Looking up, they see ‘Fuzzy’ half-way up the stairs. He looks a little wild – fur ruffled, eyes wide (and glowing red). He is wearing a flowing black cloak. Lying lifelessly on the stair below him is Jetty, unconscious or dead.) | |
| ‘FUZZY’: | Ah, young Hoppy Lashes. So you found me at last. |
| HOPPY: | F—Fuzzy? What have you done to Jetty? |
| ‘FUZZY’: | I wish you wouldn’t persist in calling me ‘Fuzzy’. My name is Inky. Short for Incubus, you know. |
| PIRICA: | What? Who are you? |
| INKY: | I’m a member of that illustrious society, the Spawn of Hell. As for what I’ve done to the Dropoff, well, all I did was eat her soul. She’s dead, I’m afraid. Happens to most. |
| HOPPY: | An... incubus. What do you want with me? And why do you mimic Fuzzy? |
| INKY: | What do I want with you? It’s not you specifically, my dear, though I’m sure it pains your ego to hear me say so. All I want is to destroy you all and feast on your souls before playing with your empty corpses. |
| HOPPY: | Then why plague my dreams? |
| INKY: | Being a BFD, you were the easiest person for me to use as a focus to anchor myself here in this world. |
| PIRICA: | There are plenty of other BFDs here! Why not Bunniquette or Chris? |
| INKY: | Hoppy is special, aren’t you, Hoppy? Hoppy Lashes VIII. |
| HOPPY: | Enough! Be quiet! Just give Jetty back her soul and get out of here! |
| (Fuzzy, Westminster and Laff rush around the corner, still in their overalls.) | |
| FUZZY: | What was that... scream...? |
| WESTMINSTER: | Fuzzy – up there – that’s you! |
| LAFF: | Jetty! Jetty! |
| FUZZY: | Who the hell are you? What did you do to Jetty? What is this staircase doing here? |
| INKY: | This staircase is the tool I used to enter Hoppy’s mind and secure my entrance to the realm of the living. This staircase... is the staircase to Hell! Prepare to die, puny mortals! |
| (Credits.) |
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